Yesterday Kris Jenner thought it’d be an hilarious idea to make Kylie tweet the above photo of Khloe Kardashian with Alex Roldan the man who couldn’t more obviously be her real dad if he pulled somebody’s arms out of his socket when he loses a game goddammit my penis is lonely. Anyway, Kylie also included the following caption:
First official photo of my sister and her dad! Like father like daughter!
Except Kylie then tweeted J/K LOL! because apparently Kris Jenner’s diabolical plan is to pretend Alex Roldan being Khloe’s dad – Which he is. – is just a big family joke so the mental giants who actually watch this shit will still be surprised when they air the inevitable “Khloe Meets Her Real Dad Special.” Or as I like to call it “The Hey, Khloe, Here’s That Dude I Had Unprotected Sex With Beyond Your Brothers and Sister’s Father’s Back Because I’m A Filthy Gold-Digging Whore Drunk On Cock And Money, So Smile And Be Happy It’s Not O.J. Which, Truthfully, We Probably Shouldn’t Rule Out Until After The DNA Test.” It rolls off the tongue.