Kelly Clarkson Is Forcing Her Husband To Put A Baby In Her By Christmas

In a new interview with Valentine In The Morning, the recently married Kelly Clarkson made it clear that she’s forcing her husband to repeatedly have sex with her so she’s pregnant for Christmas which probably explains the lifeless expression on his face above as he nonchalantly steps into traffic. Via People:

“I want babies!” Clarkson, 31, said during a radio interview with Valentine in the Morning on Wednesday. “Everybody keeps saying, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ And I’m like, ‘I want to be pregnant.’ “
And naturally, her hubby Brandon Blackstock is “excited about all the [baby-making] practice,” the former American Idol winner added, explaining that she wants to pop out two little ones who are “around the same age.”

When reached for comment, Brandon Blackstock said he assumed the weight loss would be over after the wedding, but had no idea it would involve chaining a man to a bed and pumping him full of Viagra and ecstasy. Also, something about calling the police, but I honestly stopped paying attention once I realized I had no business being in that room and could see a man’s penis. This was a mistake.