Katy Perry & Selena Gomez Love Each Other And Want To Get Married

On Tuesday, TMZ posted pictures of what looked a hell of a lot like Orlando Bloom cheating on Katy Perry with Selena Gomez over the weekend, but also reported that they didn’t go home together. Except, surprise, they did leave together, and that’s when Katy Perry started with the cryptic tweets.

But then 14 hours later, Katy tweeted this, which to me says it’s okay to cheat on your girlfriend as long as you do charity work? That’s actually an amazing loophole. “Honey, I swear my penis fell into her vagina by accident, but just to be safe I dropped off some cans at the Salvation Army. Now who’s being ridiculous?”

And then shit got really weird because Selena Gomez retweeted it, which seems odd for a woman who almost definitely got fucked in Elvish.

Fast forward to this morning where I shamelessly added bikini photos of Katy Perry because I believe every story should have a happy ending. Even boring ones where I fall asleep because someone brought up charity work. Does Orlando Bloom’s penis glow when orcs are around? How hard is it to tweet about that?

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Photos: INFphoto.com