Katy Perry’s G.I. Jane Now
Here’s Katy Perry’s latest video for “Part Of Me” which is probably the greatest insult to the Marines I’ve ever seen in my life. Because apparently according to Katy Perry, the Marines are nothing more than a bunch of broken-hearted women sitting around crying about their ex cheating on them with that hussy from accounts receiving which doesn’t make a lick of sense because women always stay with shitheads. Case in point: I’m hardly ever single. So absolutely nothing about this thing is even remotely practical:
RECRUITER: What brings you to the Marines, soldier?
KATY: Eh, I just want to handle heavy firearms while being completely distracted by my failed relationship.
RECRUITER: Here’s your tank.
Also, why does Katy Perry have to strap her heaving tits down before she even enlists? Is there some sort of strict draconian rule against awesome breasts in the military I don’t know about? Do they send you packing at the slightest hint of boob jiggle? Because no wonder our troops are coming back empty shells of what they used to be. Christ, these people lay down their lives. They deserve better.