‘Thanks For The Giant Boobs, Katy Perry. Here’s The Shittiest Ring You’ve Ever Seen In Your Life.’

February 20th, 2013 // 24 Comments

Here’s the ring John Mayer gave Katy Perry on Valentine’s Day that many have speculated is an engagement ring because he’s a douche and only a douche would propose with the Care Bears submarine. If you twist the top it probably plays “Your Body is A Wonderland” while Jennifer Love Hewitt cries alone in the distance.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. shawn

    what did he do? make it himself out of Papier-mâché and glass beads?

  2. bbiowa

    Made in either shop class or home ec.

  3. Rob

    I like the subtle use of the foil wrapper from a chocolate coin

  4. JC

    Little known fact: the finest jewelers use their teeth instead of tools. For example, see above.

  5. Katy Perry John Mayer Heart-Shaped Ring Engagement
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If those are real stones someone went to a lot of trouble creating a setting that looks like a Cracker Jacks box prize.
    I’m sure she loved it and he was probably sore from the suction action she inflicted on him.

  6. One ring to rule them both,
    One ring to own them,
    One ring to make them stiff,
    And by the nightlight* bone them.

    *I’m assuming Katy sleeps with a Disney Princess nightlight.

  7. That’s not a heart in the middle, that’s a representation of her tits.

  8. jal

    What every girl wants. A foil-wrapped chocolate ring with red gummy heart stone. I bet he got so laid that night.

  9. That thing’s fucking ugly.

  10. Deacon Jones

    I’d expect nothing less from Mr. Cockbreathe

  11. Katy Perry John Mayer Heart-Shaped Ring Engagement
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like the grand prize for winning “Flava of Love.”

  12. Katy Perry John Mayer Heart-Shaped Ring Engagement
    The Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one ugly ring but it would be useful if worn during a fight. You catch someone in the eye with that thing and they’ll know it

  13. Katy Perry John Mayer Heart-Shaped Ring Engagement
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Ma-Ti had to pawn his ring after the Planeteers broke up. Maybe Perry can turn it into “The Power of Breasts” and summon Mayer in a ‘Captain Douchebag’ leotard.

  14. cc

    I know a girl who was delighted by a ring like this. She was 3 and won it from a machine in a shopping mall.

  15. schmidtler

    Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is laughing her ass off, thinking ‘yeah, this shit is why you keep a couple engagement rings in your purse!’

  16. Looks like the HEART ring from Captain Planet

  17. I wonder after seeing this Taylor Swift is thinking, WOW I am so glad we broke up. Heck that will probably be the title for another song.

  18. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    And this is what fell out of Bethany Frankel’s chest, leaving the crater you see in the photos to follow.

  19. All what katy needs now is the Earth ring, Water Ring, Fire Ring, and Air ring and she can summon Captain Douche-bag.

  20. omg! my dadbought me one of those at one of his flea markets! along with a $5 microscope…

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