Katy Perry & John Mayer Got Back Together Already

September 5th, 2012 // 39 Comments
Dumped By Email
John Mayer Katy Perry Bikini Pool Party
Being A Douche Will Only Make Her Want You More Read More »

“Not on my watch!” – Lex Luthor

When we last left Katy Perry and John Mayer, word was out that he dumped her over email which made total sense because John Mayer’s a douche. Turns out, Katy likes being used as an easily-discarded penis-punching bag because the two were spotted at a music festival together over the weekend, and now here they are out for dinner last night. That, or she’s really dumb and was fooled by the haircut. “Wow, Mohn Jayer, you’re nothing like my last boyfriend.” *gets a text* “‘Dear Katy, it’s over.’ You’re breaking up with me?! But we just had se- oh, goddammit.”

Photos: GEVA HGVC/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    Mark Messier must be down on his luck. He’s still a bad ass though.

  2. jd

    I’d treat her like shit so much better than that douche.

  3. You know it's true

    Katy and John who? We all know the star of these photos is the bodyguard. Look at that blue steel.

  4. Frank Burns

    Transporter 4: Douchebag in a Minivan

  5. Crabby Old Guy

    So Katy apparently isn’t into men – just poofs who need a regular beat down. Good to know. That means there’s still hope for those guys on any Disney or Nick at Night show.

  6. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    What a face on Nosferatu lol!

  7. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    How many times are they coming in and out of that same door?

  8. stratacat

    he looks like a petri dish for the next STD epidemic. That’s what you want to be known for Katy? The last pair of boobs patient zero touched before the apocalypse?

  9. Swearin

    To quote the late, great Heath Ledger (who Katy would also probably have banged if she got famous before he died): “What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?”

  10. The Royal Penis

    He realized he hadn’t filled the cum dumpster yet. I have to had it to him, he doesn’t leave a job until it’s finished.

  11. JC

    It’s good to see that douches and retards can still find love, at least for a few minutes at a time.

  12. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Beaver Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    HALT! For your own sake don’t come closer to Katy’s breasts. Your Kung Fu is not strong enough.

  13. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “lieutenant worf help these two to their vehicle”

  14. LJ

    So basically it was; “What do you mean no more Blow jobs now that we’re settling in……….FU….get out”……….”So now I can get BJs and Tittle fucks? Lets have dinner.”

  15. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    TheTrooffairy
    Commented on this photo:

    All 3 pics of the bodyguard look like he smells shit….Ooooor maybe it’s John Mayer’s delicious syphilis/gonorrhea cocktail festering in his pants. I’m thinking it’s the latter. Look at that face!

  16. USDA Prime McBeef

    Why Hitman didn’t get it done right there is less explainable than why he’s wearing an aquamarine tie.

  17. Say what you will, but when she’s not slathered in makeup, this chick looks one “those pants make your butt look a little big” from holing up in her bedroom and posting Eeyore pics on Facebook all day long.

  18. It’s refreshing to see a girl consistently chase the same kind of emotionally unavailable man. Shows she’s got standards.

  19. Once you go Mayer, you never go… else…wheyer? I got nothing.

  20. blah

    So she has agreed to the dry anal. That will buy her at least two weeks of a pretend boyfriend. Then she can collaborate with Taylor Swift on an album.

  21. Katy Perry
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/05/tits-gtfo-188_126-188_126.jpg[/img]

  22. anonym

    looks like he was having a pussy drought, so he got the easiest piece of ass he could find. again.

  23. cc

    Okay, someone help me out…there was a comic book character that looked like the bald guy. Who was it?

  24. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Agone
    Commented on this photo:

    Agent 47 out of fucking nowhere.

  25. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Hitman Locke says ‘Move over, Guitar Douche! I must enter my, uh, “code” into Katy’s, er, “box” every 108 minutes.’

  26. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Red Shirt Chick is shitfaced good and proper. Also, about to get a faceful of door.

  27. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Agent Zidane will headbutt your ‘razi ass into the earth’s core.

  28. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide if agent Xavier is making all the paps levitate after their cameras or surreptitiously tele-fondling Katy’s rack.

  29. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Clark Kent looking kinda weird in short sleeves sans glasses.

  30. Katy Perry John Mayer Back Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Wicked cute. They look like they are just not sure but it’s cute.

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