Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.
Sometime in August, Katy Perry realized she’d gone from banging the Maharishi on heroin to an assclown who woke up each morning with the express intent to look like Johnny Depp‘s autistic kid brother, so like any sane woman with heaving breasts, she reacted to this information by getting shit-faced drunk at a water park and showing everyone her freakishly large butt crack. Which didn’t work, by the way, because as of three days ago she was still getting plowed by John Mayer. Try saying his name backwards!
Original Post: Katy Perry’s Bikini Fell Off
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, COBO/AKM-GSI