Katie Holmes In Car Accident After Suri Didn’t Get A Puppy DAMIEN! CHANGE HER NAME TO DAMIEN!

Here’s Katie Holmes telling Suri she can’t have a puppy.
Here’s Katie Holmes’ Mercedes after a garbage truck slammed into it hours later.
And here’s an article about the highest practitioners of Scientology possessing the power of telekinesis.

I’m sure none of that’s related.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News