Katherine Heigl’s Suing Duane Reade For $6 Million For Tweeting That She Shopped There

April 10th, 2014 // 37 Comments

Above is Katherine Heigl leaving a Duane Reade last March after shopping there with her mom Madame TurnYouIntoAnUnhirableCunt, and below is a tweet from two days later:

Katherine Heigl Duane Reade Tweet

A tweet that Katherine Heigl has determined is worth $6 million because she’s a famous Hollywood actress who turned her head ever-so-slightly to the side which means she’s entitled to immediate and unwavering privacy from now until forever. E! News reports:

“The Heigl photograph is a typical ‘paparazzi’ shot, depicting plaintiff walking on the street in New York City, in a private moment looking away from the camera,” the complaint continues, per court documents obtained by the New York Daily News. “Use of plaintiff’s image under these circumstances improperly exploited plaintiff’s name and likeness, as a celebrity, for defendant’s commercial advertising and purposes of trade, without authorization.”

I’m going to be completely honest and admit that I don’t know whether or not you can legally tweet a paparazzi photo of a celebrity leaving your establishment and use it as an endorsement. As our legal consultant will attest to in a court of law, I’m an idiot who uses words he doesn’t know the meaning of with reckless happenstance and abandon. But what I do know is that Katherine Heigl sucks whole bags of dicks and should be held in contempt based solely on those grounds. (Stop me if I’m getting too John Grisham on you.)

Photos: Splash News

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  1. JC

    Let me preface this by saying that Heigl is a miserable shrew that stars in movies so bad that they make the baby Jesus himself weep, but I think she’s probably in the right here: If someone uses a picture of you in a commercial–even a Twitter commercial–you should get paid for it.

    • Agreed word for word

    • Helena Handbasket

      Wouldv’e been smarter if they just anonymously tipped off the paparazzi that the bitch was stinking up their store. They’d have gotten a buncha photos all over the internet for free, and could have commented publicly without Frau Heigl shaking them down for the dough.

  2. “…after shopping their with her mom” Their what? I think you meant THERE.

  3. Hypothetical: If Duane Reade had simply tweeted, “Thanks for shopping with us, @KatieHeigl!” would that have constituted a commercial with an implicit endorsement? Do any lawyers read The Superficial?

    Whatever happened to schmidtler? He said he was a lawyer. Maybe I shouldn’t have run him off the site.

  4. Per TMZ:

    “…And here’s the best part. Katherine turns the lawsuit into a resume, saying, “Plaintiff is a highly successful television and motion picture actress, producer and celebrity.” It goes on to list her various credits, adding, “Plaintiff continues to be in high demand in the entertainment industry.” And braggie Katie adds, “A recent search for ‘Katherine Heigl’ on the Google search engine returned over 3.2 million results.” And she says she boasts 754,000 Twitter followers.”

    Stupid, delusional twat.

  5. [...] Sucks whole bags of dicks…

    Sound like a perfectly accurate description of Heigl.

    By the way, regardless of the lawsuit, how could Duane Reade not know that just referring their company next to that chick would make them lose money?

    Their twit should have went lik this:

    Love a quick #DuaneReade run? Well, if u r in NYC, you could run into @KatieHeigl… sorry about that. We couldn’t legally prevent her from shopping here :(
    U get all sort of undesirables when u r #NYC’s favorite drugstore! #bagsofdicks

  6. dontkillthemessenger

    The tweet should’ve read…

    “If you’re in Manhattan, you have no choice but to shop at Duane Reede, like Bitchy McUnemployable, as we’ve completely flooded the marketplace and removed all competition. Good luck finding a CVS asshole! LoLoLLoLL.”

    • Fuck CVS. Their selection sucks, their employees don’t know what they do and don’t stock, and they’ve replaced cashiers with self-checkout, which actually takes longer and half the time requires employee assistance anyway.

  7. Dox

    Better Ad:
    Heigl shops at a drugstore.
    And millions of fucks were not given everywhere.

    (At least twist the knife if you’re going to use someone’s image questionably.)

  8. JimBB

    Well, nothing is going to help her shed that reputation of being a pain-in-the-ass to deal with faster than a lawsuit. I can already hear every director in Hollywood rushing to the phone to beg her to be in their movies. “Her lawsuit showed us that she was a kind and reasonable person and not at all the touchy bitch that we thought she was,” said JJ Abrams, as he cast her in all his forthcoming movies.

  9. Eejut

    Even if it costs them 6 million, Duane Reade will come out this with more publicity than if Katherine Heigl was in an actual commercial. On the other hand, her reputation as an enormous cunt will only grow.

  10. She might as well ask for a job application, because she’s gonna need some income when her fucking show is cancelled after 3 episodes.

  11. Slash

    I work in advertising, but I’m actually not sure what the deal is with Twitter. I mean, it definitely can be used as advertising, and before you use a celebrity’s name or likeness in an ad (you don’t have to use their name, some celebrities have sued and won based on voice only), you have to get their permission.
    Since Duane Read is a corporation, I don’t think they’re going to be able to argue that their tweet is just a random occurrence that just happened to feature a celebrity with no intent to advertise.

  12. Katherine Heigl Duane Reade
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey cunt! You forgot your receipt.

  13. “Wwwwwweeeeeellllll….
    Heigl’s mom’s a bitch, she’s a big fat bitch,
    She’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
    She’s a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,
    She’s a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
    Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
    She’s a stupid bitch, Heigl is a bitch,
    And her Mom’s a dirty bitch.
    Talk to store owners around the world,
    And it might go a little bit something like this…”
    Having said that, I think she’s correct in this case.

  14. Urbanspaceman

    Even when she was popular nobody liked her.

  15. And this right here ladies and gentlemen is the amount “celebrities” sue for when they are running out of money.

    Anyone remember the recent Zzzquil commercial?

  16. She is broke, well Hollywood broke and begging for money to have movies made so she found a way to get some easy cash, or so she hopes. Just a vile, miserable bitch.

  17. She is such an unbearable cunt.

  18. I kinda like her. And I want to find out how to get my dick into that bag. I’d give her $6 million for a blowie, but she’d have to take a check ‘cuz I don’t have $6 million.

  19. Somewhere, a Walgreen’s marketing executive is adding the finishing touches to the new “Four Walls, One Roof, Zero Cunts” campaign.

  20. BonerJamz99

    She appears to be outside of the store, which would mean that in public she has no reasonable expectation of privacy, thats how paps are able to operate.

    http://www.photoattorney.com/2008/09/reasonable-expectation-of-privacy.html

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