Katherine Heigl’s Suing Duane Reade For $6 Million For Tweeting That She Shopped There

Above is Katherine Heigl leaving a Duane Reade last March after shopping there with her mom Madame TurnYouIntoAnUnhirableCunt, and below is a tweet from two days later:

Katherine Heigl Duane Reade Tweet

A tweet that Katherine Heigl has determined is worth $6 million because she’s a famous Hollywood actress who turned her head ever-so-slightly to the side which means she’s entitled to immediate and unwavering privacy from now until forever. E! News reports:

“The Heigl photograph is a typical ‘paparazzi’ shot, depicting plaintiff walking on the street in New York City, in a private moment looking away from the camera,” the complaint continues, per court documents obtained by the New York Daily News. “Use of plaintiff’s image under these circumstances improperly exploited plaintiff’s name and likeness, as a celebrity, for defendant’s commercial advertising and purposes of trade, without authorization.”

I’m going to be completely honest and admit that I don’t know whether or not you can legally tweet a paparazzi photo of a celebrity leaving your establishment and use it as an endorsement. As our legal consultant will attest to in a court of law, I’m an idiot who uses words he doesn’t know the meaning of with reckless happenstance and abandon. But what I do know is that Katherine Heigl sucks whole bags of dicks and should be held in contempt based solely on those grounds. (Stop me if I’m getting too John Grisham on you.)

Photos: Splash News