Kate Upton Really Is Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy

September 30th, 2013 // 18 Comments
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The other pics didn’t have heaving breasts, and I swore an oath.

Back in June, it was rumored that Kate Upton and Dancing With The Star‘s Maksim Chmerkovskiy were dating except nobody took it seriously because she has giant breasts and he’s not filthy rich. Turns out that shit was real because here they are holding hands in New York yesterday which means now is the time more than ever to start speaking with Russian accent, tovarisch. I vill drink the vodka until the vomen vind me irresistible, no? Hail Putin! *punches homosexual*

UPDATE: That did not get me the laid, but I vill get desired results. And crush you.

Photos: Splash News / Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That bitch is hot.

    Kate’s alright too.

  2. Damn…Maksim Chmerkovskiy looks just like a blonde woman in a red dress…Oh wait. I get it now.

  3. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yais, poompkin, I know, but I zed ‘dress kesuel’, not ‘dress like desperate housegnome trying to shtoop Gregor Cloonski’.”

  4. She went from dating Cy Young award winner to Douche Bigalow?

  5. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’s already got her working out.

  6. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look, there’s that restaurant I was telling you about that we should have lunch at.”

    “Ah…all in good time. Have you ever heard of LA Fitness? I bought you a membership last night. After i saw you come out of the shower. I’ll go have lunch there, after we drop you off.”

    “oh….okayyyy”

  7. teddy

    Shes fugly

  8. DAMN YOU Maksim Chmerkovskiy!!!!

  9. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    LOL
    Commented on this photo:

    did he stole her pants?

  10. Try banging your shoe on the keyboard. I hear that gets people’s attention.

  11. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha…..both people in relationship have epic titties and wear tights.

  12. Googled him. Pretty sure he’s as straight as my ex-boyfriend’s penis.

  13. Bex

    Bitch is fat and sloppy. I don’t get her appeal.

  14. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s too hot for her, he has a better looking mid section

  15. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Cream de la Cream
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at her calves! They look like Kenyan calves!

  16. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Dom Dam
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like an ostrich. but not like model ostrich. top heavy, weird fucking thick middle, small bottom ostrich. just… bad ostrich.

  17. Kate Upton Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy
    Que?
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s hard to tell who’s prettier…

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