The other pics didn’t have heaving breasts, and I swore an oath.
Back in June, it was rumored that Kate Upton and Dancing With The Star‘s Maksim Chmerkovskiy were dating except nobody took it seriously because she has giant breasts and he’s not filthy rich. Turns out that shit was real because here they are holding hands in New York yesterday which means now is the time more than ever to start speaking with Russian accent, tovarisch. I vill drink the vodka until the vomen vind me irresistible, no? Hail Putin! *punches homosexual*
UPDATE: That did not get me the laid, but I vill get desired results. And crush you.