Kate Upton’s Banging Diddy

April 10th, 2013 // 67 Comments

There’s a rumor going around that Kate Upton is dating Diddy, so now we all know how much money it takes to touch her giant greats. In related news, I rigged every single one of these pics of Kate in a bikini to transfer your bank account into mine, so go ahead and try to stop that from happening.

UPDATE: I already dove into a gold vault and have an appointment for “GIZMODUCK DEM TITTIES!!!” at noon. It’s been five minutes.

UPDATE: They both just took to Twitter to say they’re not dating. I win!

Photos: Getty


  1. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a spectacular ass!

  2. Maria P

    Her boobs look like to Junior Mints melting on a picnic table.

  3. Kate Upton Bikini
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Never understood her appeal. Other than her tits she has barrel body, moon pie face, and no ass. Does have nice tits though. Did I say that already?

  4. I love the sour grapes we see in the comment section of every Kate Upton post.

    She’s fucking hot, seems to have a great personality and isn’t one of the assholes we see regularly on this site for fucking up at every turn. I can’t say a bad word about her.

  5. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, I get it: cute, girl next door appeal with great tits.


    She needs to start hitting the gym a bit of she wants this as a career. She has that body type that just turns into a pear after 28.

    • That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read. She is one of the highest paid models in the world, and a Johnny Lunchbucket who reads gossip blogs is saying she needs to work out if she wants a “career” in modeling. Sort of like saying Kobe Bryant should practice more if he wants to have a career in the NBA.

      • lillaliket

        I think what he is saying is that while she gets away with not working out now that she is young, she looks like she will not age so well and needs to start working out if she wants to be able to model after 23. like, if a 13 year old is really talented in soccer and is the star of the team – if he is lazy and won’t practice as much as the other players, they will surpass him in a few years.

        rant over

  6. joe

    In related news, I’ve changed my name to “Diddy.”

  7. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The next Anna Nicole Smith.

  8. mimi

    no curves and a fugly average face!!!

  9. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I never thought I would say this….but Kate Upton has a shelf-life

  10. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s the luckiest thick model out there right now.

    besides titties, she’s got nothing else going on

  11. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    leighton meester’s ass looks better

  12. neen

    Live it up before those things drop!

  13. Kate Upton Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Need video of this because you know that was shaking like a bowl of jello in an earthquake.

  14. Firecrotch McBatshit

    If you guys are too picky or think you’re too above that to want to tap it, that’s fine. I think you’re batshit insane, but fine. The dick wants what the dick wants.

    Me, I’d sell my soul and rent my brain to science for the opportunity. I find no fauts with this woman AT ALL.

    • RIGHT-fucking-ON! She’s pretty and cute at the same time, and doesn’t seem to take herself too seriously. I’d walk five miles barefoot in the snow just so I could stand in her shit!

  15. Equus

    Just wondering how the Upton family (heirs to the Whirlpool fortune and all Republicans) feels about their progeny dating a black man.

  16. Parker

    While I usually prefer to pork a girls butt from behind while she’s busy cleaning the kitchen counter or something, with Kate I think I’d actually push her feet behind her ears and slip my weiner in her ass from the front just to watch those melons jiggle while I’m reaming her rectum.

  17. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    aside from her huge jugs, that’s one ugly ass body … and face, she’s incredibly overrated

  18. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree with most American males: Kate Upton is WAY too fat to be considered attractive on any level. Personally I can’t get myself erect unless I can count the bones in a woman’s ribcage and see her hip bones jut out like Dumbo ears.

    *Googles images of starving Africans*

    Now THAT’S sexy!

  19. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ew, sloppy

    • Rob

      Clearly you got lost looking for pictures of Jon Hamm’s penis.

    • Pete

      Agreed. This girl is so untoned and soft at such a young age…you know that in 5-10 years, she’ll be a forgotten fatty. Just never got her appeal.

  20. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d smash that shit like I was Gallagher in a watermelon factory.

  21. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d smash that shit like I was Gallagher in a watermelon factory.

  22. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a tattoo on her pubic line?

    • Cock Dr

      She’s had her labia taped…..keeps the lips from flopping out of the tiny bikini bottoms. Also provides a shield between the swimsuit and ladyparts….let’s just assume that Kate’s a VERY juicy girl and certain precautions have to be taken.

  23. Kate Upton Bikini
    Marco Polo
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks great. Healthy and feminine. Love it.

  24. Pretty sure she is dating Justin Verlander from the Detroit Tigers.

  25. Deacon Jones

    Im with about half the people on here…..from her boobs up, shes hot as hell. South? Nothing special whatsoever.

    Pay attention to any SI shoot involving here, they always hide the bottom half, unless its from the side.

    That said, somewhere, from their golden palaces, Oprah Winfrey just called Whoopi Goldberg and said
    “Another white bitch….”
    and hung up

  26. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    well we know she’s not going hungry like all the other runway girls.

  27. squiggy

    People who need to trash her have obvious issues with trying to be cooler than everyone else. We get it, you’re all sooooo original compared to the rest of us mere mortals. I’m sure she is reading your comments right now and thinking, “who is that dark, mysterious stranger and why can’t i get him out of my mind?”

  28. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll say it…she looks fat in these.

  29. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t help it, every time I see her a spooge a little……

  30. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    you both are idiots.

  31. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Weirdest fucking shaped torso I’ve ever seen on a woman. What the fuck is “feminine” about that, Marco Polo? Look at her thighs too… rippling with cellulite. Fucking wack.

  32. Kate Upton Bikini
    oh snap
    Commented on this photo:

    what’s that red thing? I think it might be a C-string to cover up her toe! lol.

  33. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a beautiful girl, but her waist is about 5 inches too high.

  34. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, just read the comment from Sophia for the first time. Doesn’t she know that her models are dating/married to actors, singers and athletic players? To make a comment like that when all your models are doing the exact same thing is absurd. Also, she is insulting a beautiful woman who comes from a very distinguished family. And I feel like it’s a backhanded comment to football players and all of their wives on top of it all-way to go insulting the American public’s favorite past time! What an idiot she is-VS should fire her.

    • My younger brother (he got the looks in the family) is a professional model (has been in A&F, J. Crew, etc) and that heartless, cruel remark by Sophia Neophitou is not only how she acts all the time, but the way almost everybody who casts or makes decisions in the modelling “world” acts.

      In the modelling world, you’re not a person, you’re a product, a thing. Things don’t have feelings. And being a hateful bitch is considered an asset in your work. That’s just the way it is.

      FWIW, Kate Upton is a Size 4. That’s hardly fat when the average American woman is a Size 14 and Marilyn Monroe was (by today’s sizing standards) a Size 4 as well (although Monroe had a 22 inch waist and so was much trimmer in that respect than KU).

  35. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That hair in her face and the fake mole looks fukn stupid

  36. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I ALSO believe that I can ever have sex with something even close to this, ever. When this woman inevitably begs me to have sex with her, I will inform her that her ass is just not good enough and give her a kleenex to wipe her tears away.

  37. Kate Upton Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    If she could magically eliminate 4-5 inches off her waist, and leave everything else the same, she’d be pretty darn attractive…. as long as she throws the makeup away.

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