Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Duchess of Cambridge’s Royal Uterus Has Been Sperminated!

“You’ve done it now, William, there’s no saving the bloodline after this. Why could you not have a girl, mother?!”

After all that naked stuff happened to them back in September, Kate Middleton and Prince Charles needed something to distract from the Royal Brillo Pad of Pelvicton Lane and while racism seemed like a good idea a at the time, they’ve now resorted to the more traditional route of conceiving an heir to the throne because that’ll really stop people from trying to look at Kate’s vulva now. Capital idea, old chap. The AP reports:

St. James’s Palace said Monday that the Duchess of Cambridge — formerly known as Kate Middleton — has a severe form of morning sickness and is currently in a London hospital.
The palace said that since the pregnancy is in its “very early stages,” the 30-year-old duchess is expected to stay in the hospital for several days and will require a period of rest afterward.

Kate Middleton just got pregnant and already has morning sickness so bad she had to be hospitalized? Jesus. Do the British find it rude to stand outside the royal palace screaming “DAMIAN! DAMIAN!” because I’m gonna.

Photos: Getty