Who *Isn’t* Giving Birth This Summer? Let’s Start There.
“There a baybee poppin’ out yet? Coulda sworn this is how y’all do it.”
Off the top of my head, this who’s given birth this summer, and I guarantee I’m going to forget at least five people because pretty much every celebrity with a uterus decided to see if it still works last fall: Natalie Portman, Pink, Alicia Silverstone, Ali Larter and Mariah Carey. Now, two more have shat out offspring over the weekend leaving at least 75 gestating celebrity babies, and January Jones‘ bastard, still waiting to spring forth:
1. Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy welcomed a baby boy on Saturday – no name, so assume it’s extra retarded – after she refused to find out the sex yet swore up and down it’s a girl because modern medicine is for suckers. [People]
2. After having three boys, Victoria Beckham and David Beckham finally welcomed a baby girl on Saturday and named her Harper Seven which I’m assuming stands for the numbers of pre-fertilized eggs they went through until they found one with a vagina. At any rate, little Harper’s a healthy baby girl who’s already being trained to kill Jennifer Lopez as we speak. “David, why won’t she wield a bloody knife? This is because you play soccer.” [E! News]