Less than six months after Sandra Bullock very publicly learned Jesse James was banging what’s left of Hitler’s secret stripper battalion behind her back, here he is with Kat Von D at the opening of her Wonderland gallery in West Hollywood last night because they fell in love playing Scrabble and now she wants to marry him. I’m not even joking. People reports:
“Jesse is only my ninth boyfriend. I don’t hang out with anybody unless I am in love,” Kat told PEOPLE at the opening of her Wonderland gallery in West Hollywood on Thursday.
Asked if she thinks the motorcycle mogul, who accompanied Von D to the gallery opening, is “The One” for her, she answered, “I believe he is, so yeah.”
As for how and when she first knew her feelings for James were so strong, she said, “Was it when we were playing Scrabble? I don’t remember. But it was something like that – when we both realized how nerdy we were.”
Jesse James was asked if he’s happy and simply muttered, “Yes,” which was obviously code for, “I’m just here for the tattooed vagina.” On that note, I’m pretty sure Sandra Bullock read the part about Kat saying Jesse is “The One” then proceeded to piss herself laughing before making out with Scarlett Johansson because that’s how I choose to remember her: Proud, yet not afraid to go lesbian for money. (Redundant? You’re right.)