Karissa Shannon Looks Entirely Candid

February 17th, 2011 // 59 Comments

Like most of us when faced with a flat, Karissa Shannon took her shirt off and allowed her jugs to breathe while changing a tire outside Los Angeles Tuesday night. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you almost have to respect Heidi and Spencer after looking at these two. At least Douchebeard and Wife understood how to give off the appearance of believability, while Karissa and Sam here basically just start making a porno. Again.

KARISSA: Oh, this mean old tire won’t stay full of air. I better take my shirt off so it doesn’t get it all dirty. Oops! This tire iron was all covered in grease and now that grease is all over my chest. Oh, no…
SAM: The, uh, the tire’s actually flat, baby.
KARISSA: Then why’d you let me take my top off?
SAM: Because… that’s how you’re supposed to change it?
KARISSA: I knew it! Now this iron thingy goes in my butt, right?
SAM: Why, yes! Yes, it does. You’re so smart.
KARISSA: Tee-hee. Yay!

(Goddamn, I’m meeting the wrong women.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. gogo

    FIRSSSST! and..it s fun again!

  2. Any Guy

    at the side of the road where she belongs. now just roll into that ditch when you’re done… scumbags.

    hideous stretch marks on her hip on pic #3. disgusting. congrats.

  3. Kudos to the paparazzi for managing to keep the video cameras and crates of lube out of all of these pictures. What’s that? It’s not a porno shoot, you say? I call bullshit.

    • Cock Dr

      What I think we’re seeing as an attempt to get funding for a future porno shoot. This is the way they troll for investors.
      If the money come thru then they can hire that troupe of Mexican midgets and the circus pony per the script (written on the back of a Tropicana hotel napkin).

      • That officially makes two things I’ve learned on TheSuperficial today! Actually, wait… does it still count for two if I’ve already forgotten the first one?

        But seriously, if she gets sodomized with a flashlight and/or tire-iron, I’m so there for pre-order. Did I say pre-order? I meant BitTorrent.

  4. Run n Gun

    Ah. The “brotha” is standing around, watching.

    Fitting.

    “I aIn’T fIxINg nO TIRE”

  5. Drew

    I wonder how many guys she fucks behind the back of that ugly, nobody douche bag. Morbid curiosity, you could say.

  6. Luke

    She can grab my nuts anytime.

  7. Tony Y

    how did she become a playmate? I mean really, she’s gross. and no, being willing to have sex with hef isn’t the answer. there are tons of women hotter than this willing to have sex with gross old men for a shot at some case. just ask charlie sheen.

    • babooda

      Playboy knows that a good airbrush artist can make anything look really hot. Want proof? Just look at any non-paparazzi picture of Britney Speares or almost any publicity picture of any Kar-trashian sister!

  8. Ally

    She is insanely hot – and this is coming from a girl.

  9. Deacon Jones

    Look at Brooklyn Decker and then this slut.

    It’s a prime example of just how beer goggles have FUCKED us guys on multiple occassions.

    • Any Guy

      exactly. exaaaaaactly. this broad’s bad nose job is downright FRIGHTENING. Brooklyn Decker however, has the face of an angel.

      and angel I want to suck my dick.

    • babooda

      I ‘m thinking it would take more than “beer goggles” to make this sexy enough to fool you…..more like a fifth of really good whiskey! However, I think you are definitely on to something with your line of reasoning.

  10. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I do love to seeing a useless past-her-prime slut made to get down on the asphalt & struggle with basic car maintenance tasks….and in heels & tight white stretch pants too. Have her change the oil when she’s done with the tire. She’ll need these skills when her looks are gone & she’s back in whatever podunk town she came from.
    Yes, the iron thingy DOES go in the butt. Perhaps that part of the photoshoot is on another website.

  11. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  12. Having changed more than a few tires in a light misty rain myself, I can say for 100% certainty that removing your shirt is almost always a good idea. Unless you have a hot chick with you…then have HER remove her shirt and change the damn tire.

    • babooda

      Sorry, McFeely, but I can’t picture you changing your shirt, let alone a tire in a light mist or any other weather condition. For that matter, I can’t picture you with a hot girl either….this chick maybe, BUT….not a hot girl!

  13. Karissa Shannon Topless
    WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    What are those, racing slicks??? Is she trying to break into the NASCAR/GoDaddy circuit now?

  14. Karissa Shannon Topless
    NerdAlert
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s doing it wrong: it’s righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
    Though perhaps it is presumptuous of me to suggest she knows of an alternative to being loose?

  15. JC

    i don’t know… but these pix are hottttttt

  16. Mr. Nice Guy

    This is how all women should dress when changing a tire.
    I think she looks great, and I live near the Beach in Southern California!

  17. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Jay Jay
    Commented on this photo:

    The fact that karissa was alone all night in half of the pictures, and with someone helping her the next morning, just shows you how adept she is at changing a tyre.

  18. the lady is a tramp

  19. Eva

    Whoa she has had a lot of work done since we first saw them on that reality playboy show.

    • Eva

      Too bad plastic surgery can’t change the fact that she’s got a wide waist and just exacerbates that fact with her stick legs.

  20. Someone used Tire Shine on the entire tire (tread and all) right before the shoot… LMAO. Not contrived at all…

    • argleblargle

      Between the fact that she’s covered in water and the car is covered in water, I just assumed it was from the rain.

  21. jojo

    She grabbed the thick black object with her glistening, sweaty arms. It was a natural reaction for her. Frightened and confused by the magic fire stick she began to suck it. Alas to no avail.

  22. I would probally bone this skank. Yeah, I would bend her over the top of the hood of the car and use the tire iron to hold her head against that hot hood. Then lift her leg up and blow her back out. Yeah buddy

  23. Talk Hard

    Anyone see the sextape? I’m curious if she has beef curtains.

  24. Rhialto

    It does almost look like she’s stranded in a 007 movie…

  25. Wai Long Peen

    Why is she all shiny? Is she covered in semen?

  26. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Why isn’t he reading a magazine? This guy lacks consistency.

  27. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Thatguy
    Commented on this photo:

    Hah! Not only were these posed, but in order to shoot a photo that had that much city light in the background, they must’ve been holding still for a good 5 seconds plus…

  28. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Mr Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Karissa, You’re trying too hard. You just need to Twitter “boobs available at xxx and xxx”. Within seconds, thousands of men that can actually change a tire will show up.

  29. Karissa Shannon Topless
    1st
    Commented on this photo:

    Some serious photoshop fail, on this one.

  30. Rhialto

    I’m already on my way! Where did this happen?!

  31. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, while you’re down there, luv…

  32. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the hell did they keep that enormous spare?

  33. Rhialto

    We’ll be coming in peace. *Shows both hand-palms* She doesn’t have to worry. But maybe we’ll have to do a lil search first…

  34. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she is performing a public service by demonstrating the correct steps involved for a woman to change a tire.

  35. her arms look like she’s been twofisting herself

  36. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Wow
    Commented on this photo:

    What a pathetic attention whore. So typical of LA; they’ll do ANYTHING to be noticed…

  37. Karissa Shannon Topless
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    who has a huge flashlight like that .. lol

  38. brit

    Unlike Lady Gaga, it’s obvious that Karissa’s not in her embryonic stage

  39. Karissa Shannon Topless
    matt
    Commented on this photo:

    Why isn’t he the one doing the tire changing?

  40. Karissa Shannon Topless
    DFCtomm
    Commented on this photo:

    I noticed that too. If you can’t afford to put tires on it then you probably shouldn’t buy it.

  41. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Normal Male
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at the trained monkey just standing around while his meal ticket does all the hard work. Yeah, changing a tire wearing all white is so believable.

  42. Ed

    The papz put the nail in the road on purpose.

  43. Karissa Shannon Topless
    Ashish
    Commented on this photo:

    what r u waitng for..??
    she is offering you to fuck her ass…..!!!!

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