Kanye West Is Vanellope Von Schweetz Now

September 26th, 2013 // 23 Comments
Vanellope Von Schweetz
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“I did something bad, Ralph. Kim Kardashian’s pregnant!”

Apparently, and naturally, Kanye West‘s BBC Radio 1 interview with Zane Lowe is a three part ordeal because here’s the latest installment where he says he’s Vanellope Von Schweetz from Wreck It Ralph. Yup. Via HuffPost:

“It’s in my code,” West said of his love for clothing and design. “Have y’all ever seen ‘Wreck-It Ralph’? You remember how that girl in there — the people that was racing? She was the glitch. You’re telling me they don’t look at me like the motherf–king glitch? You’re telling me people don’t look at Kanye West like the glitch? Right now. And she was on the side of the video game, the whole time! It’s in my code.”
After Lowe connected Kanye’s haters to Vanellope’s tormenters in the film — led by Taffyta Muttonfudge (voiced by Mindy Kaling) — West empathetically agreed: “Yeah, they broke Vanellope’s car! Vanellope Von Schweetz, they broke her car!”

I like how Kanye is literally just remembering random shit from the flight over and trying to use them as metaphors for himself. “It’s like honey roasted peanuts. They come in them little bags, the stewardess will only give you like two of them, and that’s how people are always looking at me. ‘Why can’t there be a third bag, Kanye? Aren’t you dope enough to give me a third bag?’ And it’s like, damn, motherfucker, we have to grow that shit on a farm then get honey from the bees! Which is how I feel about fashion because leather jogging pants are like the talking dog from ‘Up.’ And squirrels, you see, that’s society.”

 

And here are Parts 1 and 2 in case you hate yourself:

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  1. How dare that no-talent son of a bitch sully the name of one of my favorite movies by associating his crazy bullshit-spewing ass with it?

  2. LLBL

    What a fuckin’ jackass.

  3. Cock Dr

    It’s so right and good that he end up impregnating one of the Kardashian fame whores. Imagine the conversations.
    I’m sure they will be so happy together forever & ever.

  4. He really is a lot like Kanye West Is Vanellope Von Schweetz…in that he’s a two dimensional cartoonish little girl who whines about not getting what he thinks he deserves.

  5. What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  6. Goose

    OK, that was funny. I guess even Liberals can stop being pure evil for 2 seconds and be funny.

    I know, I know, it would be great if Conservatives COULD stop being pure evil for 2 seconds and be funny. :/

  7. The Most Interesting

    Kanye, I’ma, I’ma let you finish, but I just have to say that I never saw Wreck-It Ralph because I’m older than 12.

  8. some black dude

    I’m sorry, white people. He makes me uncomfortable too and I want him to go away. I’ll bring it up at the next meeting

  9. Jade

    Poor Kanye. He doesn’t seem to understand that people might love his music, but despise him as a person. As a person, constantly having to defend himself, isn’t he smart enough to realize that he’s just toxic and stupid? Just make your records, do your concerts, and otherwise stfu. You’re a product, so leave it at that.

    • Jiminy Cryptic

      Hmm, it seems pretty much all stupid people aren’t smart enough to realize it, otherwise they wouldn’t be stupid? I don’t know, I’m confused.

  10. God I hate this asshole.

  11. Pat C.

    Since he never makes any sense whatsoever, it’s hard for me to get pissed off by any particular statement. He may as well be “speaking in tongues”.

  12. He is so wise and erudite. I am completely flabbergasted.

  13. Bob

    Is he high?
    Seriously. I’m not joking around.
    Was he high when he did this interview, because I’m confused.

  14. He obviously doesn’t use his brain. One of these days his heart is going to realize it and simply give up pumping blood to it.

  15. Kit

    How much blow has this dude sniffed before he did this stupid, self-righteous, BORING as hell, narcissistic interview???

  16. Oh Kanye, You’re better than this!…No, wait… The other thing. Go Fuck yourself Kanye!

  17. Major mental problems, he wants to be different and special so badly I am kind of embarrassed for him. He called himself the greatest rock star. Ok, uh, one, your sound sucks, two, you don’t do rock, three, you don’t even do music, you auto tune and annoy and four, I think Zep, GnR, Floyd, Doors etc might take issue with your self proclaimed title.

  18. Bruce Lee's Left Pinky

    That car accident caused some undiagnosed brain damage.
    Being closeted all these years caused internal pressure to build.
    His mother dying caused him to snap.
    Boy aint been right since.

  19. EnglishTeacherAnni

    Kanye a has an incredible ability to string random words together to appear as if he speaks English, while not actually being aware of any of the meanings. He is a master of fabricated sentence structure! Either that or he’s just plain ol’ BONKERS.

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