For someone who decided/got tricked into/had his sperm robbed in his sleep which resulted in having a baby with Kim Kardashian of all people, you’d just assume Kanye West would’ve made peace by now with the fact that the paparazzi are going to be called every time he takes a shit. Instead he bitched all night during his Secret Show performance about how they’re meany-heads who made him get a boo-boo. Via Huffington Post:
“Someone asked me, ‘When you do ‘SNL,’ are you going to do a skit about the paparazzi and humanize yourself?’” West said on Wednesday. “What the f–k do I have to apologize for? When did I become inhuman? Or was it them demonizing me and harassing me that made me less than human?
“Motherf–kers chasing people down and making you run into sh-t, and all they want you to do is laugh and sh-t,” West said before yelling, “Hell no I ain’t doing no ‘SNL’ skits, this is my goddamn life, and it’s not a f–king joke.”
And to prove how human and non-demonic Kanye is, he’ll drop your baby if you make him kiss it. Wait, what?
He also informed the crowd the he isn’t into kissing babies. “I drop your baby and then you sue me,” he forecasted of future baby handoffs.
Let me make sure I have this straight: Kanye knocked up Kim Kardashian then fled the country, looked like he wanted someone, anyone to walk up and shoot him once she made him come back and be seen with her in public, only let her contact him through e-mail, is probably cheating on her with a man and now says if you hand him a baby, he’ll fucking drop it. Jesus. At this point, shoving her down the stairs would’ve been more subtle. Graceful even.