Kanye West Is Still Bitching About The Paparazzi Making Him Hit His Head On A Pole

May 16th, 2013 // 29 Comments
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For someone who decided/got tricked into/had his sperm robbed in his sleep which resulted in having a baby with Kim Kardashian of all people, you’d just assume Kanye West would’ve made peace by now with the fact that the paparazzi are going to be called every time he takes a shit. Instead he bitched all night during his Secret Show performance about how they’re meany-heads who made him get a boo-boo. Via Huffington Post:

“Someone asked me, ‘When you do ‘SNL,’ are you going to do a skit about the paparazzi and humanize yourself?’” West said on Wednesday. “What the f–k do I have to apologize for? When did I become inhuman? Or was it them demonizing me and harassing me that made me less than human?
“Motherf–kers chasing people down and making you run into sh-t, and all they want you to do is laugh and sh-t,” West said before yelling, “Hell no I ain’t doing no ‘SNL’ skits, this is my goddamn life, and it’s not a f–king joke.”

And to prove how human and non-demonic Kanye is, he’ll drop your baby if you make him kiss it. Wait, what?

He also informed the crowd the he isn’t into kissing babies. “I drop your baby and then you sue me,” he forecasted of future baby handoffs.

Let me make sure I have this straight: Kanye knocked up Kim Kardashian then fled the country, looked like he wanted someone, anyone to walk up and shoot him once she made him come back and be seen with her in public, only let her contact him through e-mail, is probably cheating on her with a man and now says if you hand him a baby, he’ll fucking drop it. Jesus. At this point, shoving her down the stairs would’ve been more subtle. Graceful even.


  1. Ale

    What a sad life, to be that unable to laugh at yourself.

  2. “this is my goddamn life, and it’s not a f–king joke”

    Yeah, it is!

  3. You’re having a baby with fucking Kim Kardashian! That’s a fucking Divine Comedy level of joke.

    You want people to respect you but you hook up with the biggest famewhhore in Hollywood? Fuck you. You deserve every bit of it.

  4. This post reads like the final project of a student in Glenn Beck’s class at the Fox News School of Sensationalized Pseudo-Journalism.

    At least make the deliberately misinterpreted quotes about dropping babies humorous rather than some sort of proof that Kanye is a kenyan muslim socialist.

    • wow, prime mcsoy, that is a thoroughly senseless post, made even more senseless by its own critique of another post… and by its pretending that a Moslem Socialist from Kenya, isn’t. buy a clue.

  5. Shame on you for wearing a leather shirt, idiot.

  6. Burt

    He comes across as trying too hard to make people forget his mother was an English professor.

  7. Weeblo

    I swear he’s had a diaper rash since he was six months old

  8. Excuse me Fish, but I speak Jive. What he means is “[If] I drop your baby, you [will] sue me”.

    And by the way, what the hell kind of concert is that? JESUS! I would demand my money back. The guy is just up there rambling like a lunatic

  9. Dan

    Dude’s right.

  10. anonymous

    He ought to be bitchin’ about how Kim and Rob’s weight gain is starting to rub off on him. Kayne’s been looking pudgy recently.

  11. We should all feel sorry for Kanye, the way those damned paparazzi held his head down so he couldn’t see where he was walking, and suddenly BONK! Right into the sign post…those fuckingBASTARDS!

  12. DMC

    kayne is a piece of trash from the bowels of a septic tank,
    he seriously needs to be medicated for all that ranting

  13. Lola

    SNL seriously needs a skit with Kanye & Amy’s baking co.

  14. George Bush

    “Kanye West Is Still Bitching About The Paparazzi Making Him Hit His Head On A Pole”

    So is he now sucking off the paps? Boy, PimpMom and PeeWhore really have rubbed off on him!

  15. right

    He’s used to opening his mouth for “the pole”.

  16. This next album of his better deliver some Dark Twisted Fantasy quality music for him to justify this Kardashian horseshit. The clips that have come out so far are all autotuned EDM shit tho :(

  17. Nicolette

    He’s slowly going insane.

  18. God, the douchebaggery of this guy just never ends. He was in Europe boning that dude and we did not have to see him for months, can he please go back.

  19. Dumbo

    That’s the name of his new single. Drop Dat Baby!

  20. under no illusions

    Kanye west has a pole accident? say it isn’t so !

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