Kanye Has Kim Kardashian Locked In A Dungeon

August 7th, 2013 // 24 Comments
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And is making her do cosplay! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It’s been more than exactly 30 seconds after North West was born which is way too fucking long for Kris Jenner to go without pimping something that shares her DNA, so here’s a “source” claiming that Kanye West is an abusive, controlling boyfriend who practically has Kim Kardashian locked in a cell. Via Radar:

“She has to do what he says — or else,” a source told In Touch, in an article that claims Kim has been “trapped by a madman” who’s doing his all to control her every move. ”She knows the littlest thing can set him off. She knows not to push Kanye too far … she’s doing her best to keep him happy.”
Since the birth of his daughter North West June 15, a source told the magazine the Paranoid singer has “brought in more security around the house and won’t let Kim leave.”
The intrusion sets into everything from what Kim’s wearing, to what she’s tweeting, insiders say.
“When the time comes for her to step out into public, he wants her to be wearing outfits he picked out for her,” a source said. “He’s telling her sisters, mom — everyone — what they can and cannot post on twitter.”

“He’s even points a gun at Kylie and Kendall‘s heads until they pose in bikinis. In fact, after a night of drinking – which is every night – he said something like, ‘Don’t make me call Ray-J and make you two film another sex tape like I did the last time, girl.’ Although, honestly, I think that was to distract from from the fact he admitted to murdering Nicole Brown Simpson while beating Kim for not bringing home a receipt from the grocery store.”

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Kim Kardashian Catwoman Kanye West Batman Halloween Costume
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahh i see the Bat Cave is portable now

  2. Cock Dr

    It was a nice break from these turds but I guess the blogger just couldn’t resist posting these photos again.
    As to the “story”….one can only hope that it’s true. They so deserve one another.

  3. Deacon Jones

    “….and if Kim dares to go against Kayne’s wishes, he has supposedly pinky swore to bump his head against the first street sign he sees and screech/yell at random people on the street..”

  4. Mooshi

    Why do people with so much fucking money have such shitty Halloween costumes?

  5. Slappy Magoo

    Hope that ass was worth it, Kanye.
    That big, sweet, juicy, luscious, buoyant, playful, inviting ass…

    I’m sorry, was I saying something?

  6. He couldn’t even stand to be in the same country with her throughout most of the pregnancy but now he’s Mr. Overprotective? BULLSHIT!

  7. So he’s trying to cut her off from shameless fame-whoring? Isn’t that like getting between a she-bear and her cubs?

  8. nemo

    yadda yadda yadda she’s probably recovering from a lipo?

  9. richie

    “He even points a gun at Kylie and Kendall‘s heads until they pose in bikinis.” Complete bullshit!!.

  10. Wm. Norwood

    So does this mean a new sex & pee video will be getting “leaked” soon?

  11. Jenn

    To the Bitchmobile, Assgirl!

  12. Brooke

    I believe it. Since it’s Kim Kardashian, though… meh? If he locked the entire kK Klan in a cellar, he might actually redeem himself for calling himself Jesus, for naming a baby girl North West, for shitty SNL gigs, for spotlight stealing from Taylor Swift (who I also don’t care about, but still), for beating up on poor defenseless street signs… for existing…

  13. Based on this, maybe I’ve been wrong about Kanye all along.

  14. This is Kris Jenner press release code for “Kim’s not losing the weight fast enough so we’re gonna need a few more weeks.” The fact that she did this with an anti-Kanye story rather than bikini shots of the baby Jenners or throwing the barren one under a bus really shows she’s growing.

  15. Kim Kardashian Catwoman Kanye West Batman Halloween Costume
    Commented on this photo:

    If i see kanye on the street, im gonna knock his bitch ass out!

  16. I was hoping he had the bitch buried someplace in his backyard…guess you can’t have everything you want…

  17. white girl

    Oh, come on, don’t hate on him. Maybe he’s just trying to be a good person and keep her locked in a cellar for the rest of her life. *Please let it be true*

  18. The_Ouroboros

    Yeah, based on this, Kanye is a savior of humanity. He is the only thing that’s been able to stop the runaway Kardashian train. Respect.

  19. brian

    I still want to fuck her in the ass. You know, in case you were curious.

  20. cc

    Please let these people die penniless

  21. Kim Kardashian Catwoman Kanye West Batman Halloween Costume
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that ass supposed to be appealing?
    Ugh. Looks like Aunt Jemima’s buttcheeks pumped with cotton.

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