Justin Timberlake: ‘I’m a Lazy Pothead’

June 14th, 2011 // 42 Comments

“The laziest pothead.” *twirls, grabs crotch, wonders aloud if dogs can secretly read*

When Justin Timberlake isn’t effortlessly banging Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde or pretty much whoever he wants whenever he wants, he apparently sits around realizing he never has to work again and gets high as shit which explains how his penis ended up in Ashley Olsen‘s Muppet vagina. Via Us Weekly:

“The only thing pot does for me is it gets me to stop thinking,” the Bad Teacher star explains. “Sometimes I have a brain that needs to be turned off. Some people are just better high.”
High or not, Timberlake says he’s ready to slow down and chill. “I feel I’m just getting to a point in my life where I’m looking around, going, There’s a lot to enjoy if I can just sit still, actually stop and take more time.”
Part of that time out means no new music on the immediate horizon for the platinum-selling singer. “I don’t have a single song ready to go,” admits the star, who hasn’t released an album since 2006 smash FutureSex/LoveSounds. “People keep asking me when a new song or album is coming out, and I don’t know what to say. Music is not my focus right now. It may be someday. It could happen next month or next year but right now it’s not where it’s at for me.”

He added, “What I’m really into now, you might even call it my passion, is making grilled cheese sandwiches but only with cheeses that have really fucked up names. I actually brought one with me.” *pulls sandwich out of pocket, pipe tumbles out* “Ha, whoops! Caught me ridin’ dirty. How about I have sex with you, and we pretend you never saw that? And, yes, I realize you’re a man, but what you need to realize is that I got erections looking into Cameron Diaz’s face. I’m like a sexual Bruce Lee. Fear is no longer in my vocabulary. In fact, fire this gun in front of my face. I won’t even blin- *BANG* “Save me, Walt Disney!”

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. That Bastard Tony

    Really Justin. Ya don’t say?

  2. cc

    If I found home stoned, I’d glue the strawberry shortcake hat he wore in one of his awful videos to the top of his head.

  3. nessa

    I can’t believe he admitted to been a pot head.He used to be really cute but he looks pasty now.

  4. Abby Normal

    It’s a pretty useful shortcut to hate everyone named Justin.

  5. TomFrank

    I don’t get how Kate Moss is caught doing coke, and it’s a big deal, losing endorsements and everything, but Justin Timberlake admits to smoking pot and it’s kinda shrugged off.

    • Deacon Jones

      Little difference between the two drugs, Tom, trust me.

      • TomFrank

        Yeah, I know pot is not cocaine, but tell the 40,000+ Americans behind bars for marijuana offenses “it’s just pot.”

      • wendy

        pot is not illegal in cali, maybe there is a medicinal reason he is using, sometimes we all need a break from reality. I’m from mn my sis has had severe migraines going on 30 yrs shes tried everything medically possible and still has migraines and headaches for months at a time. I wish medical mary jane was possible for her i hate to see her in constant pain.

    • Nick

      Exactly. JT admitted years ago that he used drugs and hinted that it was more than just pot. I remember him saying heroin is less addictive than nicotine. He also said he was high during his Punk’d prank.

  6. Deacon Jones

    I wonder what it’s like to do Jessica Biel doggy-style, ON WEED.

  7. YoMamma

    And I didn’t think he could get hotter…

  8. rough

    Keep on shedding that dweeby image justin…

  9. eh i smoke hash almost ev nite, it’s harmless compared to the man made shit. well other than pushing your sperm count down. but i already sewn my wild seed. smoke up justin it’s xmas

  10. yeah

    yeah because all my friends in high school who were lazy potheads wanted to be in a boy band and sing pop songs. Ugh, and they all had really short crew cuts like him to. and wore stylish clothes. This is just something he’s saying so people will think he is cool or something.

    • duh

      You’d be surprised how many perfectly normal, mainstream people smoke pot. Not everyone subscribes to the typical stoner image, and based on his interviews and tv appearances he seems like a pretty cool guy. If you lie about being a pot head when you aren’t, you probably have no friends and want to be “cool” and somehow I doubt he is trying to make more friends lol

  11. RoboZombie

    Damnit! How do you go from lame-ass pop band to best life EVAR?

  12. Rancid

    This kid is all right.

    The thing is, as he indicates, one can very easily get into a slump of non-productivity. Trey Parker put it best: “It makes it fun being bored” – which is probably the most honest criticism of the leaf.

    My golden rule – when you start wondering if you’re smoking too much, the answer is automatically “yes”.

  13. So the song was actually “Spliff In A Box”?

  14. Justin Timberlake
    baby jezus
    Commented on this photo:

    mmm girly men are so hot

  15. The Critical Crassness

    Fish, why did you publish this non-article?Anyone with half a brain already knew he was a stoner! Only someone high on drugs would ever trade in Jessica or Mila for a night with Ashley Olsen. Either he had to be a stoner or he had a midget fantasy, either way he is a whack job!

  16. Damnit, when is his Grateful Dead cover album finally coming out?

  17. Linzie

    How does he do it? He’s pasty and ugly as fuck. He and that stupid twilight guy.

    • Dr Ha-Ha

      You are surely joking. It’s one thing for a man to have much moolah, but when a gold digging whore knows it comes with celebrity (ATTENTION!), they’ll go orgasmic there and then. Where looks are the body of a cake to a man, it’s only the icing on what makes a woman’s cake.

  18. Justin Timberlake
    Thongwoman
    Commented on this photo:

    His lower face could pass for a viking’s nutsack.

  19. Dick Douche, Private Eye

    IT’S SO UNFAIR, I’m a lazy stoner too and I never had a series of hot girlfriends, millions of dollars, acting and recording careers, wait a minute, fuck….

  20. Aww, no more Timbersongs for a while. *sniffle*

  21. kittyanne

    I’M SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SUCH A DOUCHE

  22. Dev

    This article is stupid. It gives itself away when it says “When Justin Timberlake isn’t effortlessly banging Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, or whoever he wants when he wants, he apparently sits around realizing he never has to work again and gets high as shit which explains how his penis ended up in Ashley Olsen’s Muppet vagina.” Seems really immature of anyone to put an article like this up here.

    • Catani

      Seriously?? “really immature”??? You must be joking. I guess you really have no clue on what website you’re on.

  23. Rosi

    just look at the mot.. fu..er, he’s no good, never have liked him, never will. He’s the ugliest bastardo ever, even Britney knew that.

  24. LPie2623

    Just Timberlake smoking pot should not be brand new information. Kinda obvy if you ask me.

  25. (poot)

    yogi.

    bear.

    fucking twat.

  26. Poopcola

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13791146 i love how the misleading ass holes at the bbc twisted this to just make him and weed look bad. Not the fact the dude does it to chill out and step back from it all like in the more in depth interveiw posted here oh no he just wants to stop thinking and break his brain. ITS 2011 and this kinda still shit still happens ? STOP LIEING !!!!!!!

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