Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Broke Up: For Real This Time

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have officially broken up, according to People which should come to no surprise to anyone considering he’s banged Olivia Munn, Mila Kunis and let’s assume Amanda Seyfried in the past six months. Whether this means Jessica’s finally going to come out as a lesbian is anybody’s guess, but just in case, I’m going to imagine her making a powerful feminist statement by banging the same three chicks. That’ll teach us chauvinist pigs, all smug in our.. chauvenry. And, for anyone reading my thoughts right now, that pudding’s a metaphor for equal pay.

Photos: Getty