A Child Passed Through Jessica Biel’s Vagina, His Name Is Silas

If anyone gives a shit, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had a baby boy over the weekend, according to Us Weekly, and apparently his name is Silas Randall which I’ll assume is Gaelic for “My dad fucked everybody besides my mom, and hopefully all of that will happen to my penis.” It’s a beautiful language. I can see why they picked it.

OBLIGATORY BUTT PHOTOS, HOOOOOO! *leaps out of post*

Photo: Getty