Straight Maple Gangsta, Son. O-Syrup-G.

December 12th, 2012 // 56 Comments

“When you roll in Miami, you roll hard, son” Justin Bieber probably wished he said while throwing an opened water bottle at the paparazzi yesterday (above). Which sounds ineffective to us mortals, but when blessed by the smooth, manicured hands of the Maple Christ, nothing but piles of ash are left in its wake. Ash that you can sprinkle on pancakes making them remarkably delicious, but ash nonetheless. For as it is pop-and-locked.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. grobpilot

    He had to remove it from his own ass first, right?

  2. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to shoot him for wearing those pants, what a fucking douche

  3. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    oh and nice leopard print back there, asshole

  4. That owl tattoo is just straight up OG…

  5. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    M.C. Pamper

    What the hell is that style that makes you look like a toddler that dropped a deuce in your pants?

    • One that is based specifically upon the fashion tendencies of a man in prison, who dresses as such to indicate he is willing to trade sex for protection.

      I’d say this is why Rome fell, but I’ll bet the Romans never got this absurd. Some Centurion with a sense of honor would have jabbed a broadsword through the silly little poseur.

  6. Fappuccino

    Toothpicks for arms.

  7. On the third day a breakfast took place at IHOP in Miami. Bieber’s mother was there, and Bieber and his entourage had also been invited to the breakfast. When the syrup was gone, Bieber’s mother said to him, “They have no more syrup.”

    “Bitch, why do you involve me?” Bieber replied. “The hour of my set has not yet come.”

    His mother said to the waitresses, “Do whatever he tells you. You hear me? WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU.”

    Bieber said to the waitresses, “Fill them bottles with water, yo”; so they filled them to the brim.

    Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the head of my label.”

    They did so, and the head of the label tasted the water that had been turned into syrup. He did not realize where it had come from, though the waitresses who had drawn the water knew, and their undergarments dampened with the special knowledge. Then the head of the label called Usher aside and said, “Everyone brings out the Log Cabin first and then the Mrs. Butterworth after the guests have had too much to eat; but you have saved the best till now.”

    What Bieber did here in IHOP of Miami was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his entourage believed in him.

    —The Gospel According to Drake 2:1-11

  8. Trish

    Does he get anymore gay than him?

  9. fart

    He’s a tough guy but he sounds like a girl? I’m confused.

  10. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m at a loss as to how he could look even more ridiculous. And who the hell gets a tattoo of an owl? Your boy Justin, keepin’ it real, ornithology style!

    • achilles wrath

      A ‘bird’ is uk slang for a girl (might be the same other places too)

      Poor guy probably got confuzzled!

  11. banner man

    Well there is someone deeply in need of a boot in the head…..make it happen God.

  12. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    Check the tat, son.. YOLO, right? You Obviously Love Owls! TiiiigGHT!

  13. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing gay about him. Nothing at all.

  14. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    KJD
    Commented on this photo:

    Samantha Ronson looks great! Her skin looks so much younger.

  15. He makes The Situation look straight.

  16. Jizzle Bizzle needs a fist in the fizzle.

  17. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwww look – it’s even a mini water bottle.

    I bet that ounce of water really soaked dem paps yo!

  18. Mario Starr

    This young woman confuses me more than she or he is confused her self. Is she a lesbian? Is she a he? Is he a she? This looks like Vanilla Ice’s hermaphroditic-vestigial twin combined with poop and toothpicks. I shall call him or her “Frosty the Snow-woman.”

  19. El Jefe

    Seriously, the average 12 year old kid these days is bigger and manlier than this douche is. How can you be built like a 10 year old girl and walk around and think you are a badass?

  20. USDA Prime McBeef

    I find littering Canadians to be an serious affront to our national sovereignty. Send that fucker to Guantanamo.

  21. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    TurboZinger
    Commented on this photo:

    Confound it! Where is that Smithers when I need him?

  22. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Pah!
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the fuck is this moron still famous? Still looks like a short haired fourteen year old girl. Still looks like a spoilt dick.

  23. Griefer

    Forever eleven!

  24. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    She is sooo cute when she’s angry!

  25. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    I really wish Miley Cyrus would quit changing her look. It’s just ridiculous.

  26. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    I proclaim him, King Douche.

  27. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    We need to sign up to thumb up/down, but we don’t to comment?

    Da hell?

    Anyway, Dude looks ridiculous.

  28. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’s struggling with that.

  29. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Hillary Swank is looking younger every day!

  30. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    So, he wants to wear gold chains that cost more than my house, yet he is pissed that paps take pictures of him? God I wish his mother had drowned him at birth.

  31. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Da heck? Dat a-hole has an even more ridiculously douche-y ensemble than I do, yo! Lookit dem shoes! Tackle him, Leopard Minion!”

  32. Oh look, it’s Vanilla Ice Cream.

  33. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Protect Your Neck” on his hat. The Wu-Tang Clan is spinning in their collective graves.

  34. Schmidtler

    Yeah, he’s straight up gangsta. I’d like to drop him off in downtown Newark and see if he makes it out alive. He’d piss his skinny jeans within 10 seconds of his untied sneakers hitting the sidewalk.

  35. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Jesus
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooooooooo and Owl! Someone likes to watched!

  36. not me - the guy next to me

    Thuggin’ like it’s his job.

  37. Fifi834

    Douchebag litterbug.

  38. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to see a collaboration of Justin Beiber, and Die Antwoord. Perfect.

  39. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Skippy86
    Commented on this photo:

    Every girl who looks at this will instantly have their vagina cleaned.

  40. cc

    I have squirrels in my backyard that get stale bread from me. They could probably scare me more than this guy if they put their minds to it,

  41. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Dan
    Commented on this photo:

    Total cunt

  42. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    !^@%#$^
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone look like this with NO bodyguard would last about 15 seconds before receiving a severe beatdown. 24×7 protection is mandatory for this douchebag.

  43. kery

    he isnt a little boy he must grow up :)

  44. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    JaMima
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, can’t be that many of the Clan dead yet… maybe just ODB?

  45. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    JaMima
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it wrong that I get angry just looking at that confused little homo?

  46. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Joe Mahma
    Commented on this photo:

    Woah! He’s hardcore like Shoe Labeef!

  47. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    JW
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that the owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial?

  48. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    What is up with these douchey pants he wears? He always looks like he’s walking around wearing a loaded diaper.

  49. Justin Bieber Throwing Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Justin Bieber’s Getting Shot Into Space”

    Oh great! Maybe they can leave him there…

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