Black People Made Justin Bieber Drink Sizzurp!

February 4th, 2013 // 33 Comments
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Black people already made Justin Bieber smoke weed, so it was only a matter of time until they got him hooked on purple drink because, let’s be realistic here, this boy was delivered to Earth from God himself and groomed to believe he’s the most perfect, lock-popping example of His Heavenly Father’s love, girl. To suggest he did drugs of his own accord because at the end of the day he’s just like any other 18-year-old out there but with billions of dollars is way more racist than conveniently accusing his black friends of corrupting him. How do you even look at yourself? TMZ reports:

The photos show Justin, Lil Za and Lil Twist (we’re told both of whom have smoked pot with Bieber) at a table rolling up blunts. Also on the table — two sets of double cups (a known style of consuming sizzurp which was made popular by Lil Wayne).

Bieber is getting pressure from some of his people who think he’s basically a good kid … but hanging out with Za, Twist and some other dudes are taking him down a bad road.

Fortunately for Belieber Nation out there – *kisses laminated membership card* – Justin has responded on Twitter to these heinous accusations in the most Christian way possible: Lying and pretending it never happened.

- some of these rumors about me are getting a little out of control now. dont believe the bs
- gonna focus on the positive. i understand that rumors come with the territory but im gonna stay me.
- focus on the music. u wanna know what im about…it is all right there. #BELIEVEacoustic

In Bieber’s defense, and possibly in testament to the intrinsic love powers of sizzurp (Always experiment, kids.), everything’s working out because he’s apparently back with Selena Gomez who’s not at all trying to shed her squeaky clean Disney image. She’s probably already saying she dates a “bad boy” now with an almost straight fac- Pfftt! Hahahaha! See? I can’t even do it.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Selena Gomez Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Found Carmen Sandiego.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    Jenkem or GTFO, Bieber!

  3. Selena Gomez Legs Short Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Brittany needs to get the name of this gals hairdresser.
    LiLo too.
    Extensions never looked so good.

  4. JC

    Between this kid and Demi, I’m confused. If you’re a multi-millionaire celebrity, don’t you have sufficient funds and access to better drugs than whip-its and cough syrup? Isn’t there some kind of rare super-heroin mixed with the ground-up bones of extinct animals that they can buy?

  5. Whoa there! Bieber is white?

  6. Sandoucheky

    His twitter responses to these things are sounding exactly like Chris Brown’s now. I’ve been around Biebs in those situations the pics came from – he’s WAY farther down that road than you think. Don’t see him balancing out and having a Justin Timberlake-type career anymore.

    • Oh, all these jackhole kids talk the same way on the Twitter.

    • JC

      Did/do people really think that he was going to be the next Timberlake? I’m not poking fun at you–I’m legitimately asking. Because from what I can tell, nobody should have ever thought that. I’m not a Timberlake fan, but it’s at least clear that Biebs is way too dumb to manage that kind of long-term success. In 10 years, he’ll be playing the Airport Sheraton and offering low-cost hand jobs to traveling businessmen.

      • Sandoucheky

        I never saw that either, but that was the standard career model people would always apply to him. Him singing exactly like Timberlake on this last album fueled that whole horseshit notion too.

      • So it’s clear that the 18-year-old multi-millionaire is too dumb to manage long-term success, is it? Any other tidbits you’ve retrieved from the ether, Ms. Cleo?

    • Justin died one night
      Died in his bed
      Bottles of sizzurp and maple syrup by his he-ead …

    • dontkillthemessenger

      Thank GOD he’s not going to have a Timberlake-like career from here on out. That means that at no given time will 15 movies that he had neither the talent nor qualifiations to be in will be on cable.

  7. I don’t give a fuck about any on this.

  8. Justina! I can see a little booby. Someone’s little girl is growing up!

  9. mike

    The best part is imagining Biebs walking around constipated as fuck all day.

  10. logan

    Every time I see a pic of this kid, I think he looks like he has a Halloween costume on. Nothing about him looks natural. Vanilla Ice pulled it off better than this kid.

  11. John 2:1-11

    On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Bieber’s mother was there, and Bieber and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the purple drank was gone, Bieber’s mother said to him, “they ain’t gots no mo sizzurp.”

    “Woman, why do you involve me?” Bieber replied. “My hour has not yet come.”

    His mother said to the servants, “do whatever he tells you.”

    Nearby stood six stone maple syrup vats, the kind used by the Canadians for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

    Bieber said to the servants, “fill the jars with the golden, sticky water”; so they filled them to the brim.

    Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

    They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the syrup that had been turned into syzzurp. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn it knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “everyone brings out the choice drank first and then the cheaper shit after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

    What Maple Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

  12. I specifically asked to only be notified if he drank turpentine or antifreeze.

  13. Frank Burns

    Attention Fish – its never too late to make Photo Boy change his name to “Lil Superficial” and then fetch you some grape drank from the Texaco Mini-Mart.

  14. No matter how far down the drug road Bieber travels, he will never be called to answer for his deeds. Hell, he’ll pass as a juvenile until he’s 48 years old.

  15. This is not Justin Bieber doing these horrible things. Clearly this guy is just a lookalike going by the name Lil Justin.

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