Justin Bieber To Prince William: ‘Yo, Why You Bald?’

August 8th, 2012 // 76 Comments
Justin Was An Accident
Justin Bieber Denim Vest Popped Collar Sunglasses Sydney
You Don't Say Read More »

In case you were wondering how the Justin Bieber “I’m A Little Shithead” tour is going, he’s now moved on to insulting British royalty for going bald because apparently everyone should have finely coiffed, Canadian Maple Christ hair, that probably softens to the touch and smells of cinnamon and gummy bears. Or so I hear. TMZ reports:

Bieber went after the Prince to Rollercoaster magazine, a U.K. publication … after the Prince’s disappearing locks became the topic of conversation.
“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia,” Bieber said.
He added, “I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

WILLIAM: Hello? 007? It’s William. I need you to be a good chap and inject the Bieber boy with enough chemo to turn him into bloody Lex Luthor. There’s a shag with Kate in it for you. — Already plucked her, you say? Good show, old bean, good show.
KATE: William, dear, why are you holding a banana like a mobile?
WILLIAM: Inbreeding, love. Generation upon generation of inbreeding. *returns to banana* A pen that shoots lasers! Bastards never saw it coming, did they? Oh, you have such adventures, James.

Photos: Getty


  1. PeopleSuck

    I’d rather be going bald and look like a man than have perfect hair and look like a pansy-assed female. Just sayin.

    • Winnie Churchhill

      If forced to choose I’d rather be a richer than god pansy ass than have to scrape by on a royal allowance.

      • vandinz

        lol oh yeah, Wills in really on the poverty line LMAO.

      • fur burger

        Oh dear Winnie… you poor thing. That allowance you speak of, its backed by one of the richest institutions on the planet. Not only could Wills buy out Bieber like he was buying gum, he could buy out Canada with his family’s money without breaking a sweat. Not a fan of either but sometimes you need to give someone a cold, hard reality check

    • The Royal Penis

      Yep, the natural reply to Bieber is:

      “Yea, you know, there’s weightrooms and stuff that can take care of that problem you have with masculinity”.

  2. Rico Jones

    A bald Prince William is cooler than Justin Bieber will ever be.

  3. Dick Hell

    Unfortunately the real meaning of ‘Tang Polo’ probably doesn’t resemble the images it conjures.

  4. GrandDragon

    Bieber is an embarrassment. If I were Prince William, I’d have MI6 assassinate his girly ass.

    • Henri Paul

      Stupid young kid with too much free time and disposable income, Bieber can probably drive into a pillar without any help.

    • El Jefe

      Seriously William, if you are reading this, make it happen. The world will be a better place for it. Take down the Jersey Shore jackasses and the Kardashians too while you are at it. Leave the Kendall one though.

  5. Beaver Underground

    Let’s hope this little twat never goes into politics. He could cause Canada to be nuked by Tibet.

  6. phooey

    Are there British Bieber fans? Whose side will THEY be on?

  7. Can’t stand Bieber, but he’s right. William should either fix his hair or shave it completely.

    • vandinz

      When you’re the future King of England and have a wife like his, looks don’t matter. Fuck the material cunts that spend too much time on how they look and not on how they behave.

  8. GoatmealCrisp

    He’s trolling the royal family? Wow. For the first time in his life, I’m proud Justin Bieber’s Canadian.

  9. Rebecca

    He makes a totally valid point, my middle school math teacher has decent hair plugs in the 90s, there’s no reason an honest to God prince can’t afford a good set of hair plugs and some hair growth creme in 2012…

    • You like my cock

      Because a MAN doesn’t worry about trivial things like thin hair you twat.

    • Also, both you and Dr. Beiber seem to have no fucking clue that propecia can leave you with permanent erectile dysfunction, decreased libido and moobs. Which is why you DON’T “just take it and your hair grows back”.

      He’s an arrogant, ignorant fuckwit, what’s your excuse?

    • Eddie Baby

      He’s going to be the fucking King of England. He doesn’t need hair.

  10. Kids say the darndest things.

  11. Cock Dr

    The maple grrl is jealous of a newlywed prince who’s obviously awash in testosterone.
    So write a stupid song about it and get back to licking the girlfriend, who BTW is starting to come down with a serious case of swollen poochface.

  12. WOW

    The ignorance and stupidity of that little puke are astounding. Holy fucking hell.

  13. your mom

    You should start a poll of your female readers… who would you rather fuck if given the chance?

    Also, propecia has such sever side effects, pregnant women are advised to not even touch the stuff. So yea, get on that shit.

  14. Urvag

    Oh Bieber: open mouth, insert purple bedazzled shoe.

  15. YoMamma

    Hair Plugs never look natural – we make fun of Travolta and all the other celebs that are afraid to go bald.

    I’m not a fan of the comb over but taking a drug with ED side effects and/or getting hair plugs just makes you look silly – it’s the male equivalent of botox. You’re aging – embrace it.

    If there is a God in heaven, PLEASE let JB have male pattern baldness in his family. PLEASE!

  16. ( •_•)⌐■-■
    Someone should shave Bieber’s head…
    … off at the neck.

  17. LKJ.RPH

    Except that Propecia causes birth defects…..which I’m sure Wills isnt into now with the royal pressure of a family. Just goes to show that Biebs is a fucking idiot….I hate him!

    • Candee

      Not only can it cause birth defects but it also can cause impotence.If I was a man I think I would rather have a hard dick as opposed to hair.

      • Kim

        and not just impotence but also genital shrinkage, depression, personality changes, it goes on and on and in some people they can be permanent effects even if you stop taking it. All to sprout a few hairs on your head.

  18. it had to be said

    Surprise is on you Bieber, since William’s mug is going to be on your (Canadian) money eventually.

  19. McClownerton

    I say Randy Travis should run him over in the ’98 sinwagon.

  20. Prince William Thinning Hair Balding Jerudong Trophy Charity Polo Match
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure “Tang Polo” is a game Prince Harry plays most weekends, actually.

  21. Fish, that was excellent dialogue, it made my day.

  22. Crissy

    Im gonna go with Cartman on this one and say “Blame Canada!”…

  23. KillJustineBeaver

    Justine Beaver is a eunich. Enough said.

  24. Mama Pinkus

    shut the FUCK up Bieber you overrated snotty little piece of SHIT – lots of us gals LOVE the REAL men who don’t fuck with plugs and combovers when they lose their hair

  25. vandinz

    At least it makes him look like a man Justin you first grade twat.

  26. cc

    And here I was thinking that Bieber’s only experience with pharmacy was dodging into one to pick some Trojans to bone Selena. But he knows pharmacology now too! Truly the maple wonder.

  27. Joaquin ingles

    He really should shave his head though.

  28. cagster

    On the other hand, there’s no cure for newly discovered
    Beiber-asshole-itus – the brownish, yellow oral discharge is particularly nasty.

  29. Justin Bieber’s dad, Jeremy, is NEVER photographed without a baseball cap, beanie, fedora, or other headgear on.

    Next time you see your Dad, Justin, take his hat off, and look into your future.

    • derp

      Whether his dad is bald will have no bearing on whether Justin will be. Male pattern baldness is passed through the mother.

  30. Kim

    What an ass. After all, that’s what women want, a guy who drugs himself up due to his vanity and self-confidence issues.

    That Propecia stuff is poison, they should take it off the market. It has damaged the lives of many young men, which is really sad.

  31. Prince William Thinning Hair Balding Jerudong Trophy Charity Polo Match
    Commented on this photo:

    He is a shithead. I’m a girl with alopecia and you can be damn sure out there if there were things to prevent that shit, I’d be fekking taking it too. Asshole. I hope he goes bald this summer.

    • In my dream fantasy he repeats this to Caroline of Monaco, who once had your problem, and she knees him square in the nuts and then has him tortured and executed.

      I sort of look forward to the near future, when all Canadians abroad will claim they’re American simply because of this fuckwad’s idiot mouth.

  32. Mrfknhappy

    I would love to kick Bieber right in his vagina and shit in his mouth, fuckin little douche.

  33. Prince William Thinning Hair Balding Jerudong Trophy Charity Polo Match
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s 2012. Time to bic that shit, Billy Boy.

  34. kate

    He’s probably to busy being the future King of England and flying rescue helicopters to give a shit about his hair tbh.

  35. anonymous

    Justin Bieber…someone refresh my memory. This is the same pussy that was shitting his tight ass pants while driving 100mph and crying on the phone to the cops because some dude armed with a telephoto lens was following him?

  36. Sliver

    A bald man who doesn’t obsess about his hair (or lack of) is far superior to one who sprays on some possibly side-effect ridden horse crap b/c of vanity. Some of the most masculine men in the world have no hair. The first time I saw that little pussy Bieber, I thought, damn, he looks like a girl!
    After Bruce Willis chose to shave his head (he lost his hair) he looks much cooler than before, and a little sexy. I would love to see that little lesbian-looking Bieber mouth off to Bruce Willis about propecia, God I would pay to see that. But it ain’t gonna happen. :(

  37. Prince William Thinning Hair Balding Jerudong Trophy Charity Polo Match
    Commented on this photo:

    What is the big deal with baldness? Propecia, Minoxidil or any other of that stuff isn’t 100%. Plus once you start it you can’t stop or you lose it. Transplants look like someone planted corn on your head.
    There is no cure.
    It can’t be helped. Like being ugly or retarded…Like Bieber.

  38. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! William is four years younger than me and here I was worrying about my receeding hairline. I practically look like fucking Chewbacca next to Prince Poofter!

  39. Anonymous

    Justine Beaver should have a nice long cock shoved down her throat for that remark. William is loyalty and is way older than JB is. Ever hear the phrase, ” respect your elders”? The way stupid parents are raising their ignorant children these days. *eye rolls.*

  40. Cressida

    Wills > 1000 Justines.

  41. Justin Bieber Assassinator

    Man, Justin Bieber is one spoilt brat who couldn’t give a SINGLE fuck who he is calling names to. I see turmoil in his not so distant future as he might get executed or die of being gay.

  42. Esol Esek

    Bieber is asking for more humiliation at the Grammys. His music is god awful trash. He’ll get his comedown, and we’ll all be laughing, including King WIlliam in his palace. Bad news Bieber, your hairstyle requires a lot of hair, and the odds you’re going to lose yours are great indeed.

  43. Prince William Thinning Hair Balding Jerudong Trophy Charity Polo Match
    Commented on this photo:

    Balding anyone?

  44. jack

    My dad is bald so there is a significant chance I will go bald too. Same with Bieber – his Dad is bald. That said, there is no guarantee that if you’re dad is bald, you will be (or maybe you will lose hair but not to the same extent). In any case, it does increases the odds largely. The myth that balding only comes from your mum’s side is only partially true. It can come from either side. I’m almost 30 and still have a full head of hair, but having shed a lot recently that’s about to change. I’ll need time to adjust but I think eventually it’ll be a no big deal. You get used to it. As will probably Bieber.

Leave A Comment