Justin Bieber Paternity Suit Dropped

November 16th, 2011 // 33 Comments
Justin Bieber
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“I didn’t touch her no-no parts! Yaaaayyy!”

Apparently after Justin Bieber announced he’d not only take a paternity test but sue Mariah Yeater‘s face off for alleging he’s the father of her three month old son, TMZ reports she quietly dropped her suit last week which probably has a whole lot to do with her lawyers falling off the face of the earth (They’ve since quit.) after finding out she previously accused her ex of being the father. In related news, MySpace is suing Mariah Yeater for reminding everyone it’s not only still around but is still a treasure trove of barely legal slutty photos. “Have you guys seen this Facebook thing? Pretty neat,” they were quoted as saying.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News


  1. maeby

    Now i believe her. Total cover-up!! He paid her off!

  2. They simply confirmed my previous theory: His testicles haven’t even dropped yet.

  3. taytay

    what a whorebag

  4. Cock Dr

    There’s nothing wrong with having sex with the mentally ill but it helps if they’re attractive.

    • Frank Burns

      True! Just ask a drunken Paua Abdul! [disclaimer: this comment is satirical in nature]

    • Bradley Johnson

      You must know my ex-wife

    • God is Black

      I agree 100%! It seems like your the only women with intelligence and wit ! I got heaps of shit when I posted that there was no way Maple Christ would fuck a fugly, tubby chick with nails in her nose as pussy is pussy! Even the Maple Christ has standards…..

  5. I knew this story was BS, Now this opens put room for some anonymous girl to claim her and Demi Lovato made lesbian love in treatment. Or seeing TMZ or hollywood.tv catching Dem’s “BF” Wilmer with some skag while she is on tour.

  6. TomFrank

    You haven’t added a soundtrack to a post in a while. (Can you under the new format?) I thought “Billie Jean” would have been appropriate.

    “But the kid is not my son! Ee-hee-hee!”

  7. Jamies

    god that chick is hideous

  8. Richard McBeef

    Thou shalt not fuck with the Bieber – Commandment XI

  9. Plucky

    Have we decided on what color the “I Support The Superficial’s Right to Say Funny Shit About Paula Abdul” ribbon should be? I’m thinking leopard print with a Valium glued to the center, but we better make sure the design isn’t already spoken for.

  10. forrest gump

    psst: he is still in PUBERTY so stop the crap, folks!!

  11. bob the banker

    Either he’s paid her off or she has backed down. Unless he mans up continues to sue her and take the test everyone will just say he paid her off.

  12. polycarpx

    If the DNA test proves Bieber is the father, she could be prosecuted for criminal sexual charges. Which kinda throws a monkey wrench into her whole scheme.

  13. Maria Vargas

    I believe the child is his, and that he paid her to drop the suit. I am moving that we band-together and start a Ban Bieber page on gopetition.com, until HE takes the test to prove me wrong.

    • kimmykimkim

      Is that a real site? You should use it for something that would help others. Like killing the Kardashians.

    • kimmykimkim

      Is that a real site? You should use it for something that would help others. Like killing the Kardashians.

  14. cc

    I still hope he sues her for a paternity test and then sues her for defamation. He’s a twerp, but she’s a moron who deserves to get her clock cleaned (in court) and be made to say “I made the whole thing up”.

    (On an unrelated note, can you post the letter you got from Paula Abdul’s lawyer? Please make sure to include their mailing address so I can send them a Christmas card.)

  15. This chick is a douchenozzle. I sure hope her 15 minutes are up soon. Additionally, the pregnant chick is nuts.

    I also would like to see the letter from Paula’s lawyers. I think Fish should be proud that he received such notoriety. We all know that whatever Fish says is true!

  16. LJ

    According to AP he’s still going to do the DNA paternity test.

  17. GeorgeWBush

    Hmm, wonder if Jerry Springer or Maury Povich are planning to book these two on their show

  18. snowman

    baby yeater looks a lot like baby bieber except for the blue eyes. biebster paid her off. duh. millions of dollars are on the line had it been proven that he was the father. his reputation to those teens who will one day regret they dumb things they’re doing for st bieber. plus it would only prove that bieber really is a half a minute man. even missy elliot would go hahahahahahahahhaaha

  19. This has nothing to do with this post (because I don’t care) but when I read your retraction of the Paula Abdul “claims”, this is all I could think of:


  20. Brydy456

    ahhh I wanted to see the most entertaining episode of Maury imaginable

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