Justin Bieber Almost Got Murdered, Castrated

December 12th, 2012 // 42 Comments
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In case you’re wondering what the exact toll Justin Bieber is taking on America, he’s making hardened criminals in prison want to commit more hard crimes when I’m almost positive these individuals were “this” close to turning a corner. They had their whole lives ahead of them and he swaggered it away from them. WILL IT EVER END? TMZ reports:

According to KRQE News, convicted murderer Dana Martin — currently serving two life sentences for raping and killing a 15-year-old girl in Vermont in 2000 — recruited a fellow inmate at Las Cruces prison [in New Mexico] named Mark Staake to carry out the murder once Staake was released.
It’s unclear when the plot was originally hatched, but Staake and his nephew Tanner Ruane — whom Staake had later recruited to help — reportedly planned to execute the murder plan in NYC last month, where Bieber was performing at MSG.
Martin reportedly told police the plan was to kidnap Bieber and his bodyguard and strangle them with paisley ties, Martin’s calling card. Ruane was then going to castrate them.

So how far did their plan get? Try right into the city with a bag full of pruning shears. Except here’s where it gets crazy: Martin, the mastermind who’s apparently obsessed with Bieber and has his face tattooed on his leg, blew the whistle on the whole operation, so just assume that happened after talking things over with his Bieber tattoo:

MARTIN: So, what do you think of my plan, Justin?
BIEBER TATTOO: I’m thinking maybe you don’t kill me and cut off my balls, G.
MARTIN: Why would you care? You’re just a tattoo.
BIEBER TATTOO: Not true, dawg. I have the power to appear wherever my face is painted.
MARTIN: At any time?
BIEBER TATTOO: Any time.
MARTIN: So that day in the shower…
BIEBER TATTOO: My mom doesn’t like me to talk about that stuff.
MARTIN: Right, right.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, WENN

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  1. Mr. Poop

    …would have been interesting had they pulled it off?

    • Randal

      It’s really shocking the amount of hate and jelously people have toward such a talented young individual, who has single handedly changed the music industry since his arrival to the scene.

      Those who plotted against Justin could never, ever amount to the status the King of Pop now holds, and it’s made clear when they’ve spent so much time already in the slammer.

      Get a life, you scums!

      Randal

      • Randal, this androgynous boy/girl/child has NOT single-handedly changed the music industry other than pirating some adolescent fans away from some other shit-for-talent “entertainers.” If you want to talk about people who have single handedly changed the music industry, talk about The Beatles, Little Richard, or even (I may gag) Madonna. This little blip of fecal matter hasn’t single handedly changed ANYTHING other than, perhaps, his Underoos. And the jury’s still out on that issue as well. Happy Holidays!

      • You must be new if you’re not familiar with Randal and the many Randal clones who post here.

      • All of Randal’s posts are sarcastic, Vito.

      • OK, I’ll take your guys’ word for it, although I’ve never thought of Randal as being sarcastic. Psychotic, yes. Sarcastic, no.

        And, no, mensa, I’m not new around here. Been here for a number of years. Dealt with Randal thousands of times in the past.

  2. fart

    never say never.

  3. Grand Dragon

    The murderer has a penchant for killing 15 year old girls. That explains why he went after Bieber, I guess

  4. Andre 2000 b.C.

    Badly writen article. In this particular case “castrated” is not aplicable. That would take a full medical procedure in which the criminal would remove or block the functions of Bieber’s ovaries. And I don’t think the criminal is qualified to do that. So, what he would do is called “female genital mutilation” and not “castration”.

  5. JustWalkingMyUnicorn

    I don’t wish him dead but I really don’t like him.

  6. kimmykimkim

    If this fucker gets to live, then somebody needs to murder that Carly Rae bitch instead.

  7. karlito

    the reason people hate this kid is because he tries too hard to be cool. he hangs out with all these “faux” gangsters rappers and he thinks he’s one himself. when he looks in the mirror he doesn’t see that he’s just some short, skinny, pasty lesbian looking white kid from Canada, he thinks he see’s some street wise gangster from the ghetto. 10 years from now he’ll see pictures and videos of himself and say…what the hell was i thinking!!

    • I agree with everything. He’s from Ontario for crying out loud.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        A picture of Bieber wearing a Colombian necktie… DAMN! Christmas almost came early this year.

    • Nonny Moose

      So what you’re saying is that he’s Vanilla Ice?

      • At least Vanilla Ice had a bit of cred; he was a street performer before he was famous, came from a broken home, and was actually recognized as having some potential. This was, of course, before he pissed it all away…but still, better than Bieber.

        Maybe if Justin had opened for N.W.A. I’d be giving him the benefit of the doubt…

      • Schmidtler

        If Bieber could walk from Port Authority to Macy’s without a bodyguard, and without peeing his skinny jeans, he’d have some ‘street cred’.

  8. Mary Feeney

    Very sad headline.

    Meaning the part where it says “Almost.”

  9. The Most Interesting

    Almost?

    Fudge it. Bring on the Mayan Apocalypse.

  10. Justin Bieber Denim Vest Popped Collar Sunglasses Sydney
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Ho does one castrate a castrati?

  11. Justin Bieber Denim Vest Popped Collar Sunglasses Sydney
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    that,s a dude?

  12. karlito

    why am i being asked to sign in again when i’ve been using this same name and password for years

  13. MissJonesy

    Give the kid a break, shit. He’ll probably be all fucked up when he’s older anyway.

  14. Hmm

    Not a Bieber fan but wow, some of you people are pretty fucked up. Poking fun at his androgyny while wishing him dead? Wtf. The kid could have actually died.

  15. I’m not sure that TMZ quite understands what the word “mastermind” means.

  16. grobpilot

    Why can’t stories like this have a happy ending?

  17. joho777

    Murdering Justin Beiber seems a little extreme, but casterating him isn’t unreasonable. He probably wouldn’t notice it anyway, except he’d have a wider range of clothes to wear is all.

  18. Bri

    I don’t particularly care for him, but come on! That’s just crazy…

  19. Big A

    I’m not saying I agree with their plan….but I understand the motive.

  20. Qapla

    Yeah I’m doing soul searching right now…..I’m deeply troubled that I actually would not be too bothered if he went out like this.

    The only thing I’m happy about is that technically this would have made Bieber a martyr which could have horrendous consequences his fans are legion and this would only validate his appeal to them forever.

    The reality is, Beiber and his fan base will exit puberty and only the die hards will hang on and Biebs will be replaced by the next pedophile dream to slang to pubescents for their parents cash and adoration.

    And I savor the day I see Beiber gravel voiced and faded unable to come to grips that he will never be what he was, b.c his success was not by musical accomplishment but by industrial promotion.

    That friends will satisfy me greatly like an aged scotch.

  21. Arlene

    To the word “almost”? DAMN YOU TO HELL!

  22. Cpm

    It would seem to be difficult to castrate someone when their testicles haven’t descended yet.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      It’s absolutely hellish, for all parties concerned. You can’t imagine the noise the target makes, the writhing, the blood, and the sore muscles you have for days on end from trying to restrain his struggles. Even ropes and handcuffs help just so much. Pruning shears are not a good choice for the job – these guys are fools.

      Not that Grigori and I know firsthand, of course. We simply have very odd choices of reading material. Really.

  23. Seriously guys u gotta stop the hate ! this isn’t gettin’ u anywhere, Like seriously what have he done to you all ? did he actually insulted u or your race, your religion ,your family???? if he had done it , I would’ve ageered with you all .But I really can’t see any reason for all that hate for him he’s just a boy who had a dream and made it come true what’s wrong with that? since when ppl r gettin’ insulted for somethin’ they really wanted to do , for makin’ their dreams come true , that’s totally wrong !! u really need to look for things in different way so as u can understand the whole situation clearly .

  24. fukjustinlilbitchasshonky

    fuck this lil bitch these guys should have went thru with this haha woulda been epic

  25. Poony

    ALMOST! God dang just die already! No one likes you!
    God how did the police find out about this ಥ_ಥ

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