Justin Bieber and His Dad Got Matching Jesus Tattoos

July 26th, 2011 // 56 Comments

“If wine squirts out, I’m so sorry!”

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but at some point stereotypically white Christian guys decided to start getting tattoos despite Leviticus 19:28 explicitly saying, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.” But in their defense, the parts of The Bible you don’t like don’t count because sometimes the infallible, omnipotent space being you worship doesn’t know what the fuck He’s talking about. So they rationalized their actions by claiming it’s to show how spiritual they are when, lets be frank, it’s really to compensate for the fact that there’s nothing more square than a white Christian conservative. Coincidentally, this is also around the time tattoos stopped being badass – unless you’re a Hell’s Angel or combat vet – and became the distinct marking of douchebags. (Still hot on chicks, for the record.) So, naturally, TheJustinBieberShrine.com just posted NAMBLA-erotic pics of Justin Bieber and his dad getting matching tattoos of “Jesus” written in Hebrew right before he jetted off to Hawaii with Selena Gomez. And as much smack as I just talked back there, Holy shit, did it work. And how. I already tattooed “Balls Goliath” in Aramaic under my armpit then showed it to people at the mall to get the word out.

And now, The Waiting Game…

Photos: TheJustinBieberShrine.com, Splash News


  1. DeeMacD

    “Swell, Dad. Did you call the paparazzi to get this all on film?”

    “Good idea, son. Who would not want to see your freaky, white chest.”

  2. Turd Ferguson

    Certified badass now, no question.

  3. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY? We all know that http://www.GodisImaginary.com _ so his “so-called” man-god son Jesus is imaginary too, and they reside in the http://www.EvilBible.com so run away from that nonsense as fast as you can!!!

  4. LohansDemon

    Yes……. all in good time. His personal demons are working on him as we speak. He will turn to drugs and alcoholism in the near future when his career begins to slid after his tween fanbase out grows him. He will have several kids out of wedlock and turn to getting gay sex in public bathrooms on the Sun Set Strip. Yes his melt down shall be glorious.

    Thus speaketh the demons of Hell. Prophesied by Asmodius the Desert Demon verse 56 of book 2156.

  5. jerry

    Is he holding hands with another guy????

  6. The waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

  7. Count of Monte Fisto

    Why do I feel like I’m looking at a “This Ain’t Justin Bieber XXX” still?

  8. Beefarino

    This is why birth control needs to be 100%

  9. Lucifer

    That’s the same face he made when he had sex with Selena Gomez.

    • If you say “sex with Selena Gomez” meaning she ass raped him with a 12 inch strap-on then I will agree with your statement.

      That little butt-fucker has never even been close to pussy much less placed that butt plug he calls a penis inside a pussy. He was probably a c-section baby so he didn’t even get to touch pussy then.

      The only genitalia Justin Pillow Biter has ever touched has been large, hard cocks. I suspect his dad’s.

  10. Euroman

    No matter how many butch haircuts, tatoos or psuedo girlfriends, Justinia will still be be a little girl wearing men’s clothing

  11. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    Sooo….his dad is gay too?

  12. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    And here’s Justin doing his impression of Ronny Cox in “Deliverance”.

  13. five pieces of tape

    “Still hot on chicks” yeah maybe if the chick is already smokin’ to begin with (and even then it’s like, why ruin a good thing with tattoos?) because if you’ve ever taken a trip to your local wal-mart I can 100% guarantee you that you will encounter more than your fair share of tattooed chicks and 100% of them will be 100% gross.

    • Carrie

      I’m not 100% gross. . . . .and I don’t shop at Wal-Mart. I’m a classy tattooed chick, I shop at Target. If I go to Wal-Mart, the tattooed fatties run over my toes with their carts in their haste to get to the Cheetos and Diet Dr. Pepper.

  14. RoCer

    He wrote Jesus in Jewish! Someone call Mel Gibson!

  15. Jim Jones

    Ah, Leviticus. So easy to find an argument for just about anything in there lol.

  16. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor kid. He tries so hard to look like a man.

  17. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    why does his dad have an “i heart mandingo” tattoo on his arm…?

  18. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin, even though your face says “Do you think I could squeeze one in?”, I think we all know it’s not the best time for a quick wank.

  19. Loser

    How ironic and incredibly retarded since Jews (Hebrew, official language of Judaism) do not believe in Jesus Christ being the son of God.

  20. feminist barbie

    wow, chris hansen just walked into my house and told me to have a seat over there. i hope there are cookies this time.

  21. K-Fern

    “Oh! Tickles my vagina!”

  22. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, that’s lactation. Nurse, let’s order up a genetic sex test, and a pregnancy test while we’re at it.”

  23. mampie

    some of you have no manners the way you and the article blasheme agaist Jesus/God is disgraceful…Gay’s are always talking out about irrelevant things such as always been offended, muslims always speak out if you say anything about there religion…so I’m speaking out and saying I’m offended by the way the article has been written and some of you comments…one day at your death or on judgment day you will see whats for real and will pay dearly for for bad attitude and disrespect…On a side note Justin is not a Jesus fan so I don’t understand the tat!!!

    • Matthew H

      I agree, except you were born into the wrong family who indoctrinated you to believe the wrong god so you’re going to hell because the correct choice is Zeus.

      Sorry chump but nice try.

  24. Sarah

    “Yes, let me ruin my brand new tattoo by swimming and sunlight!”

  25. the one

    this is a public test for PAEDOPHILES & OTHER WEIRD AMERICANS, folks?

  26. P Dizzle

    Damn Twinks!

  27. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    these have to be the creepiest photo I have seen on here

  28. greyshrimp

    A++ on the commentary Fish, you were on fire!

  29. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    so the girl is his girl friend

  30. Mike

    Hands down one of the most annoying pictures I have ever seen in my life…but then again it’s of one of the most annoying people I have ever seen so it makes sense. Oh and he has the body of an 8 year old…it’s disturbing.

  31. rollover

    his girlfriend is so damn ugly and so is he. why does the media even capture snapshots of those two in public, there fucking hideous and have no talent. the sleaze bag got a damn tattoo. like it’s gonna make him any more popular. and this chick is constantly hiding her face, she needs to grow the fuck up and get a tan and some boob and ass implants. jesus

  32. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Awe they r so adorable together

  33. Justin Bieber Jesus Tattoo Shirtless Selena Gomez Bikini
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    u are right kelsey they are

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