“A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Justin Bieber, a young loner on a crusade, to pop and lock the cause of the innocent, the boyfriend-less, the swagger-less. In a world of celebrities who operate above the law… Douche Rider.”
Here’s Justin Bieber riding – and standing – on his Ducati yesterday afternoon after getting pulled over for tooling around in his Ferrari the day before because he’s clearly lost the will to live. Which is a normal reaction to being an 18-year-old hornball who can’t decide which hot chick to bang at his convenience. Christ, at that age, I only had to worry about getting into college, working a full-time job to pay for it and figuring out how to guilt my girlfriend into giving me a handjob while her mom’s at the grocery store. He’s practically in a prison.
Photos: Fame/Flynet
Is that going to happen today? That would make it a great day!!!
My heart bleeds for him.
Use the mirrors, douche.
Don’t you DARE ruin this for me by giving him life-saving motorcycle operation tips!
Everybody knows helmets are for pussies. That’s what I heard all the Victoria’s Secret models say – and that they also get wet for dudes that do wheelies and ride recklessly.
The Biebs can’t die now!
The world has to suffer much, much more for what it’s done. She knows what I’m talkin’ about.
I’m going to rant, because I haven’t yet today.
I am watching Xfactor (I know, first mistake) and there are talented older singers on there that were being judged by this asshat. WHY IS HE JUDGING PEOPLE’S TALENT!? god i hate him.
Douche Rider! That fucking hilarious!
do the matching boots come with it?
do they make it go faster?
Whats the Over/Under on him wiping out young & pretty like James Dean? Being forever worshiped as a lost teen idol?
Wiping out young? Seems plausible (fingers crossed!)
Worshiped as lost teen idol? Nope, maybe a week and then ‘Justin who?’
Correction: Justin Bieber is trying to kill herself.
Just this morning I was contemplating the futility of life and the loss of hope in our dark times. Then the Superficial swings in like Batman to save the day. Justin Bieber on something doctors simply refer to as the organ donor maker. There is hope… there is hope…
Yep, when I was a nurse and I was really hoping for a patient to get an organ, I would just hope for nice days. Bikers would come out by the dozen, and there was always a good kidney or liver delivered soon after.
You, my dear, are a serious ass. Fuck off.
Hey, if people don’t value their bodies, that is their own problem. And it’s not like I caused it to happen- it just happened. Simple cause and effect.
When I first saw the headline, “Justine Beaver trying to kill herself,” I smiled. Only if that were true.
My first thought was How can I help?
Fuck this little prick for his matching clothes, helmet, shoes and bike.
With any luck he’ll either do something stupid for our entertainment. 18 and supersport as a first bike usually results in a hilarious and painful bad decision when those two lines on the graph meet. Hopefully someone is there to take pictures or video.
He’ll find out very soon that a hoodie doesn’t offer up much protection against pavement.
So, did you get that handjob?
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/15/Aint-Nobody-Got-Time-for-That-150×150-150_150.gif[/img]
She’ll be the prettiest little road crayon ever.
I hope she doesn’t splatter too badly in the inevitable wreck. People very much need those fresh young organs for transplants.
All I ask for is a tall truck with a ram skull on the hood and the driver not noticing the Bieber’s emergency braking.
Squid
Check out those chicken strips!
Stick to the vespa, puss.
Stick to the vespa, puss.
Dear Justin,
PLEASE keep trying!
Love,
Mark
Video of the crash from The Snake in 3…2…1…
You went to college, Fish? Which one, barber or clown?
Hahahahaha, I love that joke!
Well then he’s all set to play a more effeminate version of Trinity in the next Matrix movie.
“Ooh, riding this motorcycle sends titillating vibrations into my Maple twig! Screw you Selena, I don’t need you any more!”
Nope, mirrors first then the over the shoulder look. It will save your life.
He’s never going to get rid of those on the 405.
He should be wearing a back protector under his hoody at the very least and some gloves too…Noob!!
Sadly cockroaches like this never die.
we can only pray for a miracle…
This is actually a very encouraging development.
The kid’s got Ferrari’s and Ducatis, his life expectancy is pretty iffy at this point. If SOMEONE would just introduce him to heroin, we could finally be rid of him. I’m looking at you Russel Brand…
Lord Helmet
Shit, I’m really dropping the ball on this one, aren’t I?
well lets see how many errors in judgement we can spy
no gloves
no jacket
no elbow or knee protection
shitty shoes that offer no ankle protection
laces that are to long and can get caught in chain etc
too many Cc for his riding ability
no spine protection
visor up no eye protection
riding on his heels and not the balls of his feet
but hey he bought a good helmet his face will look great in the casket–sadly the concrete will rearrange the rest
ohhh hugging the line in traffic in LA–nice way to get clipped
lol, a mini cooper with a bmw logo? What a derp
nice wizard sleeves… maybe should invest in a labia tuck
he looks tough as darth helmet. http://www.hdforums.com/forum/attachments/general-harley-davidson-chat/121177d1275864300-help-half-helmet-turmoil-and-expense-spaceballs_dark_helmet.jpg
It’s pretty much like the Big Wheel. Don’t worry about traffic like mom told you.
this is what every kid dreams of….. having too much money to spend, and not enough shit to buy.
i wish I had that lifestyle when i was a kid
Good.
He’s waaaay overmatched by that motorcycle.
Is this the T-Mobile girl riding around?
Who doesn’t like hot chicks on motorcycles, eh?
What? It’s not a chick? Fuck you.
Damn you, helmet laws! *shakes fist at sky*
Pop a wheelie! They say it’s good luck if you do that right away and in heavy traffic. You don’t want to look like a pussy, do you?
Zero protection on a Ducati Superbike…excellent! I hope his organs will go to far more deserving dying teenage girl.
If he kills himself, he would be remembered and celebrated as the James Dean of the 2010s.
Good point. We’d never be rid of him. Let him live on into obscurity.
redsonja1313: actually, his helmet is not strapped on, so it will roll away while his face is rearranged.
you are an idiot BMW makes mini coopers, and the logo is on the plates not on the car!!
you are a moron BMW makes mini coopers, and the logo is not on the car its on the plates you fucking retard.