Justin Bieber Took The DNA Test

November 22nd, 2011 // 48 Comments
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Seen here wearing pink underwear while taking Selena Gomez to a romantic lunch at IHOP yesterday – God, this kid has moves. – Justin Bieber has graciously supplied a lab with his DNA, last seen glowing maplely in a Petri dish before feeding 5,000 people pancakes with smiley faces just the way you like ‘em, girl. TMZ reports:

We’ve learned … Justin took the test at a lab under “very controlled circumstances.” We’re told there is a solid chain of custody, so it’s going to be hard for Mariah Yeater or her lawyer to challenge it.
As we first reported, Justin’s team will NOT settle or even discuss settlement with Yeater or her lawyer. It’s now up to her to provide DNA results from Mariah’s baby.
Justin has vowed to sue Mariah and her lawyers once he establishes he’s not the daddy.

I know I’m not the only one hoping that, by some sort of miracle, this baby still turns out to be his. Mostly just to see him explain to his lawyers why he agreed to a DNA test instead of quietly making this go away. “So, wait. Semen gets girls pregnant? But Usher told me it’s just a sundae topping…”

Photos: Flynet

superficial

  1. Richard McBeef

    nice pink panties, you fucking pussy. And pull your pants up, or I will take a giant shit on you.

    • Because inside every Justin Bieber… is a princess trying to get out.

      • Linda

        Love him, he is a true patriot and hero. I would let him date my daughter and doctorpeoplemeet was amazing.

    • shankyouverymuch

      Forbes reported that he made 53 million dollars last year… You know, I’m not a Bieber hater but if that report is only even half true, then that is maybe the most depressing news I’ve heard all year! :O(

  2. hmna

    Maybe Bieber sporting the droopy pants look will finally make it uncool after about 20 years. I can’t believe I’ve been seeing it that long.

  3. Colin

    I just read this, and the only thing I took away is that I’m going to make pancakes now.

  4. Justin Bieber IHOP
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    PULL UP YOUR PANTS FOR CHRIST SAKES!!!! Why do young guys think this look’s good. you look like you shit your pants and you don’t want the crap to touch your ass. it’s not fashion. guys who wear their pants like that are followers not leaders. why do you want to dress like some uneducated gang banger?

  5. He’s like, “I already gave Mariah a LOT of DNA that day but if it helps people somehow I’ll be glad to donate some more.”

  6. The Man

    “Justin Bieber Took The DNA Test” – Turns out we were all right. He is a she and she is pregnant with Usher’s baby.

  7. Justin Bieber IHOP
    The joaker
    Commented on this photo:

    And Sandusky just came

  8. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    Well there you have it, she’s got no balls.

  9. cc

    What a fucking tool he’s turned into.

    • Satan's bitch

      Turned into? Haven’t you been paying attention?

      • cc

        Well, it depends on how long a span of time you look at. In his youtube era, he seemed reasonably tolerable. However, I will agree that his descent into toolishness has been dramatic, to say the least.

  10. dude!

    he so gangsta–NOT!

  11. Justin Bieber IHOP
    titsonsnack
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, seriously?

  12. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Commented on this photo:

    those must be his period panties.

  13. Justin Bieber IHOP
    ®ough--one standard will do jussssst fine. Thx!
    Commented on this photo:

    Will the D.A. take away Sandusky’s PC privileges please? Yes I just propose that. No need for a second look.

  14. Schweddy Schnatch

    Pants on the ground…pants on the ground…lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground…

  15. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit! Now my gramma is in my head, shouting “PULL UP YOUR PANTS, BOY, AIN’T NOBODY WANNA SEE THAT!!”

  16. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez IHOP
    Commented on this photo:

    eventually she’ll find out what a penis feels like. and so will he.

  17. Minky Wail

    He’s safe. If they did the standard cheek swab, they will get another guy’s DNA.

  18. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Selena Gomez must peg dat ass so hard….

  19. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez IHOP
    Commented on this photo:

    For the DNA test, did they get a sample directly from Biber, or just swab Usher’s dick?

  20. cc

    Honey, you can do better (not richer or more famous maybe but better).

  21. i’d say that cat is outta the bag…Selena is a lesbian.

  22. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    is this legal to publish?

  23. ®ough--one standard will do jussssst fine. Thx!

    So who gets to wear wool boxers in the relationship?

  24. Any Guy

    either way, we win. some white trash bitch gets sued out of existence, OR this limp-wristed kid with the pink underoos is totally hosed. USA! USA!!!

  25. What happened to the “mystery girl” from a week or so back?

  26. Justin Bieber IHOP
    matt
    Commented on this photo:

    White, homeless, chris brown.

  27. Venom

    Sagging which was developed by gay men in prison and then wearing pink underwear too? There is no doubt in my mind he is gay now. Thank God that means he has never defiled Selena.

  28. Justin Bieber IHOP
    heuy
    Commented on this photo:

    gross

  29. Fuel meet fire.

  30. Justin Bieber IHOP
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    In a desperate bid to save face, Two Mile Charity has hired Justin Bieber as their new celebrity spokesperson. What could possibly go wrong?

  31. LJ

    Hey, he’s 17 and at the least, getting BJs from Selena Gomez.
    I’d wear pink boxers if it got me a BJ from Selena Gomez.

  32. Cardinal Fang

    Does he realize the tool he is?

  33. The Royal Penis

    I hope that after the DNA test comes back negative that he sues and takes whatever mobile home this crazy bitch is living in and every future home too.

    I hope he buries her ass in attorney’s fees and puts her on the street with her infant for being a damn tease to all us Bieber haters who wanted the whole thing to be true so desperately.

    Now I get to watch McDouche put his bug fucking needle dick in every 2 bit teenage skank with fame over and over again while drowning in a pile of cash. The Christians are right, this truly is a broken world.

  34. Justin Bieber IHOP
    dekansnowman
    Commented on this photo:

    Just trying to keep it fresh for when Usher wants it.

  35. Lauren B.

    So…is there a reason why young men can’t pull up their pants and respect themselves?

  36. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez IHOP
    Piper
    Commented on this photo:

    justin u look so cute

  37. Justin Bieber IHOP
    C
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard that guys who wanted sex in prison would pull their pants down past their ass to show they were willing. Hmmm >.> Food for thought.

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