Dear Mom & Dad,
As part of my job today, I willingly, if not enthusiastically, made publicly available a photo of an 18-year-old boy’s butt crack in hopes of generating pageviews from prepubescent girls and perverts in general thus creating the advertising revenue needed to finance my salary. So at this time, I want you to know that I no longer harbor any ill will toward you for not paying for my college education. Talk about incredible forethought on your part. “He’ll just sit around all day posting butts to the Internet,” you probably said. And how, for the record.