Josh Duggar Is Out Of Rehab

“You know who’s not a mandatory reporter? Lawnmowers. SHARE if you agree.”

After back-to-back scandals involving molesting his own sisters and cheating on his wife with an Ashley Madison account, Josh Duggar was exiled to a bullshit Christian rehab for his crime of getting the whole family kicked off of TV. Oh, and that other stuff, too. But now Josh is free after six months of doubling down on the lifetime of sexual repression that led to this whole mess in the first place, and surely the Duggars won’t already be plotting a story line about Josh earning his family’s trust back just as they’re beginning to slowly sneak everybody back on TV inside Jessa’s vagina. (Relax, there’s room.) PEOPLE reports:

“I definitely have forgiven Josh. It is a process, though, that you have to work through in your heart,” Josh’s sister Jessa (Duggar) Seewald told PEOPLE exclusively. “And trust is not quickly rebuilt. It is something that takes a while. We love him very much, though, and we are very hopeful for the future.”

Sonofabitch. Of course, the thing everyone should really be concerned with is Anna Duggar who may or may not already be pregnant with Josh’s fifth child and now has to live with a sex-crazed, punch-me-face monster who just spent six months being brainwashed into only wanting to fuck her vagina and her vagina only. On top of that, their perpetual baby factory version of Christianity demands she make that shit available 24/7 or be cast out into the streets where she’ll have to perform the sorcery you call reading and math. Which is like telling a normal person they have to find a dragon and stab it in the dick with a unicorn. Probably not happening.

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