Joseph Gordon-Levitt Learns Cancer Is The New Marine Corps Ball

November 16th, 2011 // 45 Comments

Joseph Gordon-Levitt recently starred in the comedy 50/50 about a young man battling cancer which prompted Lindsay Miller, who actually has cancer – pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer to be exact – to upload a video to YouTube along with a blog post asking Joseph to grab a cup of coffee:

As you might recall, I saw the cancer comedy 50/50 recently and was impressed with it, though it was difficult emotionally for me to watch.
Also, I didn’t admit this in my first post about it, but after seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s performance and seeing/reading some of his subsequent interviews about the film I thought, “This guy gets it. And he’s cute. I wonder if I could ever run into him somewhere.” But even though I live in LA, it seems impossible to find him.
Maybe YouTube can help…
OK, I admit: It’s ridiculous. And it feels like i’m making a big leap from being an anonymous cancer “liver” a few months ago to now starring in my own video.
But, life is short. So, why not?

While Joseph Gordon-Levitt is reportedly banging Scarlett Johansson these days, I think I figured out a way to help Lindsay out:

Dear Joseph Gordon-Levitt,

Sean Penn’s penis used to go in the place you put your penis in now. Not sure if anyone told you that.

Best Wishes,

- The Superficial

(Oh, yeah, that should do it.)

h/t E! News

Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Donald Trump

    I’m so in luve with this guy. Yum!

  2. Jamies

    This is getting ridiculous

    i am asthma

    let me suckle

    katy perry’s tits

  3. it had to be said

    OOooohhhh. Someone got a letter from Paula Adbul’s lawyers. I know who it was.

  4. rough by design

    What a waste. shes attractive. JGL better not turn her down, if he knows whats good for him. PR wise.

  5. I wish people would stop asking stars out. It was cute the first time, now it’s cliche. And how long till some crazy stalker asks some female starlet to go to the royal ball and then kills her?

    Unless it’s Kim Kardashian.

  6. forrest gump

    he is smiling in a way “Is Something Stuck In My Anus”?

  7. “While Joseph Gordon-Levitt is reportedly banging Scarlett Johansson these days…”

    Other than me, who isn’t?

    • Schmidtler

      Chris Brown isn’t banging Scarlett Johansson, but that’s only because Chris Brown Loves The Cock!!!!!

  8. Frank Burns

    Don’t sweat it fellas, Frank is on the job, with this form love letter / YouTube script you can send to your favorite actress. Just fill in the blanks and you are on your way to romance!:

    Dear [insert actress name here],

    You played a woman having sex in a movie scene once, and I want to have sex with a woman, so you can see we have a lot in common to bond over! Meet me at _____ wearing _____ and bring your credit card, and one muzzled Alapaca with you. Afters we will go back to _____ and I will _____ your _____ and _____ your _____ and _____ your _____ whilst on the Alpaca or if you are tired, with the Alpaca. If you’d like we can kidnap _____ and make [him/her] watch while I _____ your _____ and choogana choogana choogana your _____ and then have a grand mal seizure after I _____ your _____. We should probably throw down some tarps on the floor first though, don’t you think? And don’t mind the video camera, I will not post the video online so far as you know.

    Looking forward to it,
    [insert your name here]

  9. Plucky

    If you read the rest of her blog, it will make you tremendously angry about the state of America’s healthcare system. JGL can spare a couple of hours for coffee to hear what this chick has to say.

  10. Dr. Nappy

    She’s quite cute.

  11. I love how everyone’s all “Oh, she’s so cute! Say yes!”

    What if she weighed 400 lbs? Would anyone even give 1/10 of a fuck about her? Probably not.

    • What is your issue here, Georgio? She’s NOT 400 lbs. and she IS very cute. Are you jealous because someone hasn’t made a public plea for you to accompany them to the soda shoppe?

  12. stratacat

    he looks like my grandpa.

  13. skunk

    lol love the headline

  14. Venom

    She is super cute and sweet, he should go out with her regardless.

  15. EricLr

    Never could teach that boy to watch what he put in his mouth.

  16. SisterRay


    • occam's boner

      “Life is short. So, why not?” Always the disclaimer for a stupid decision.

      • I believe in her case “Life is short…” is something of a resignation to her condition, although the severity of her disease and the prognosis for her recovery are not mentioned. Maybe she just wants to get laid by a celebrity while she can. I say, more power to her.

      • Fred

        Pancreatic cancer 5-year survival rate: 3%. In short, there is no beating pancreatic cancer. Jobs went the longest. This girl is 26 and won’t live to see 30. She deserves whatever the fuck she wants.

  17. Archies_Leach

    Joseph Gordon-Levitt tried to get into Eric Foreman’s pants.

  18. Joseph Gordon Levitt Cancer Patient Date YouTube
    Commented on this photo:


  19. Hey Joseph Gordon-Levitt…don’t worry about Sean Penn’s penis having used Scarlett Johansson’s vagina before you. All you gotta do is go in past the used part.

  20. TheSledMan

    Pancreatic cancer is a death sentence. Even Steve Jobs with all his money and power couldn’t over come it. So yeah, sadly she probably has only a year or so left.

    • Richard McBeef, MD

      Most pancreatic cancers are adenocarcinomas of pancreatic exocrine tissues and are associated with the poor prognosis you speak of. neuroendocrine cancers of the pancreas are usually more readily treatable and often have a better prognosis.

    • Archies_Leach

      My neighber = dead within two and half months of diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

  21. Schmidtler

    If I had a disease where my chances of living much longer didn’t seem so good, I doubt I’d waste any part of my remaining time on earth watching a Seth Rogen movie. Sheesh, this chick already had it bad with the cancer, but to suffer through Seth Rogen for almost 2 hours? Just too cruel. Maybe the medical marijuana makes sitting through that talentless jackass’s crap more tolerable?

  22. The Royal Penis

    If he was a good guy he’d bang the shit out of the cancer patient to send her off in good spirits.

    • TomFrank

      I second that. Also, I would’ve banged Chloe the cancer patient in Fight Club. Because I’m a good guy like that.

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