Jonathan Dwyer Is Today’s Woman And Child-Beating NFL Player

The NFL had just finished sweeping Adrian Peterson under the rug yesterday when barely a few hours later Jonathan Dwyer was arrested for allegedly assaulting his wife (twice) and 18-month-old son because it was only a matter of time before Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson formed their own fucked-up Voltron. TMZ Sports reports:

According to police, the 25-year-old allegedly roughed up his wife at their home in Phoenix on July 21st and again on July 22nd.
Shortly after the incidents, cops say, Dwyer’s wife left the state with their child.
Cops list 2 victims — a 27-year-old female (his wife) and their 18-month-old child.

Amazingly, the Cardinals immediately suspended him instead of waiting for pressure from corporate sponsors who have to be going, “Goddammit, AGAIN?!” by now. That said, let’s make sure we still have a rational dialog about this because football is serious business. Okay, so we all agree beating his wife is wrong (provided there’s video), but was the one-year-old perhaps in need of a whooping? Because we should probably take that into consideration before condemning a grown 25-year-old professional athlete for physically assaulting an infant. Hitting an adult is one thing which is why we have crimes against it, but don’t nobody tell no one how to raise their kids. All clear? Good. Now let’s move on to Stat Man which is what I’m calling this special brand of commenter that popped in our threads under the name “teddy r” while someone by the name of “GMAN” made essentially the same bullshit argument on TMZ’s Dwyer story:

And still compared to the national average of men in the same age range, NFL players commit far far less domestic violence and overall crime. TMZ would never report this because it doesn’t jive with their agenda. But the stats are out there for anyone to see.

If you’re scratching your head, that’s because this shitbird is literally arguing that because the NFL has a lower crime rate than the national average, the media should really be reporting on how awesome football players are instead of focusing on the times they finally manage to get charged with domestic violence and/or child abuse. It’s not like these guys are ducking arrests skewing those statistics or held up as role models by schools, parents, and hundreds of every other institution in America that over-glorifies sports, so let’s let ‘em off the hook for beating the shit out of women and children. They seem like good people.

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Photo: Getty