Jon Lovitz beats up Andy Dick

July 17th, 2007 // 129 Comments
jon-lovitz-laugh-factory.jpg

Jon Lovitz beat up Andy Dick last week at the Laugh Factory after Dick made a comment about the murder of Lovitz’ SNL friend, Phil Hartman. Apparently last year Andy Dick went up to Jon Lovitz and, according to Lovitz, “looked at me and said, ‘I put the “Phil Hartman hex” on you – you’re the next one to die.’ I said, ‘What did you say?’ and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don’t hit women.” Then when the two ran into each other at the Laugh Factory last Wednesday, Lovitz was expecting an apology for the comment and when he didn’t get one he flipped out. Page Six reports:

Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, “Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose.” Lovitz told Page Six, “All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole.”

This one’s a no-brainer. Andy Dick is the biggest waste of human life since OJ Simpson and Jon Lovitz is awesome. Plus he was in those Subway commercials. Trying to figure out who to root for in this one is like trying to decide between a cute little kitten playing with a ball of yarn and Hitler.

superficial

  1. stormerpathos

    FRIST!

  2. me

    it wasnt me

  3. Andydickhead

    So what’s the problem.Phil Hartman is dead isn’t he. It’s not like Andy Dick was lying.

  4. CONDOM MAN AGREES WITH YOUR ASSESSMENT OF THE SITUATION

    LOVITZ IS INDEED AWESOME AND DICK DOES INDEED LOVE THE DICK

  5. Guy

    LOL WUT

  6. Jason

    A VERY VERY BIG thank you goes to Jon Lovitz.

    A: Andy Dick is just that…a dick. He’s not funny, he’s not talented, he’s not nice, he’s not much of anything.

    B: Phil Hartman was awesome…you don’t disrespect someone like that. Especially to one of his close friends.

    C: Jon Lovitz is awesome…and even more awesome now.

    D: Violence doesn’t solve anything. But some people (ie: DICK) are just so bullheaded that sometimes it takes a little more than reason to have them understand.

  7. stormerpathos

    Score one for Jay Sherman! I’m sitting on a volcano of rage and I have nowhere to release it.

  8. Andy Dick has as much right to be famous as Paris Hilton. Why can’t both just go to hell and leave the earth?

  9. ihavealife

    A person has to be a complete ASS-HOLE like Bite Me! to sit by a computer all day waiting for a new posting just to write FIRST. Get a life you ASS-HOLES

  10. Hash

    violence rox

  11. stormerpathos

    Hey ihavealife, ever hear of fortuity? That was my first post ever on the site and may well be the last. Get bent! If you’ve got such a life why are you wasting time responding?

  12. Jethro

    As has been pointed out before the only people who are bigger ASSHOLES than those waiting to write FIRST (or FRIST) are those who wait for a new thread so they can point out that whoever was first is an ASSHOLE.
    ASSHOLE.

  13. Zot Zot!!

    JON LOVITZ = UC IRVINE’S FINEST ALUM!!!

    EATER NATION!! GO EATERS!!!

  14. Fortuity

    #9 – You call writing derogatory comments on a blog having a life? What the hell would you define as not having a life?

  15. gratifying.

    i hope it wasn’t a staged blood capsule stunt.

    i’m sort of disappointed lovitz didn’t bounce an ashtray off his head, douse him in vermouth and set him on fire.

    phil hartman was a fucking legend (although you fail to mention dick was on that shitty sitcom so perhaps he *knew* hartman)

  16. Bite Me!

    @9 no you don’t have a life and you are a complete ASS-HOLE. You make the same post every day. Shut the FUCK UP!!!

  17. This might be the greatest thing ever.

  18. Crap Tonight

    will someone refresh my memory as to why A Dick is in the world?

  19. Akif Nizam

    Never liked Jon Lovitz….until today. Now he’s my hero !

  20. Bite Me!

    I love Jon Lovitz and I am glad he beat the shit out of that ass hole Andy Dick, but I bet the little fag fight must have been hilarious to watch.

  21. Jon Lovitz is my Hero

    YAAAA Jon you rock i hope you wiped that little S*&T stain good job JON

    anyone that puts hurting on andy dick is a national hero

  22. Someone need to whip his ass! He’s annoying a shit! A BIG THANK YOU, TO JON LOVITZ! I think that Janice Dickerson, is rubbing off on him…she should have whipped Omarosa’s ass!

  23. havoc

    “But I don’t hit women” LMAO!!!!

    #6 said it best…..

    .

  24. Crap Tonight

    #9
    Do not despair, your little joke is not lost on all of us

  25. PHT

    A kitten playing with a ball of yarn and Hitler? I’d have to go with the Fuhrer on that one.

  26. Best. Story. Ever.

  27. Mardi

    Wow. I kinda always disliked Andy Dick, but now I am seething with hatred towards him. How do you diss on Phil Hartman, the greatest comedian of his time? Whether viewing an episode of Simpsons or a classic SNL sketch, he made this world a better place to be. You are missed, Phil!

  28. ali

    The Andy Dick show was pretty funny, I think he has his moments…

    but he most definiltely deserved this.

    p.s. why hasn’t he openly admitted his queer-ness?

  29. Maurice

    Fuck assault charges. You don’t fucking make fun of Phil Hartman.

    Jon Lovitz deserves a medal.

  30. J-Sin

    Andy Dick gave Phil Hartman’s wife (who was sober for 10 years) cocaine at a party. She later killed Phil and herself. Dick is technically responsible for Hartman’s death. I hope Levitz put his ass in a hospital.

  31. mafme

    I’ve always loved Lovitz, especially his roles on News Radio and The Critic– Sadly, I thought andy dick was pretty funny, but it sounds like he’s burned his brain. Seriously, what did he expect saying shit like that? Phil was one of the funniest people of the last century and, by all accounts, just a great guy. Dick has needed a pounding for a while.

  32. Greatestntheworld

    Lovitz has gotten a lifetime respect award from me. Now if only the ghost of Phil Hartman will cause an anvil to drop on Dick’s head and smash his clean out of his ass, the world will finally have a sense of justice.

  33. mafme

    Whoa! “that shitty sit com?” I hate most situational comedies and consider them to be insulting for the most part. News Radio, though, was something else– a lot of surrealist and absurdist comedy with a sit-com wrapper. It was a very subtle show with some well-done slap-stick… I understand how anyone could dislike anything, you know, doesn’t match your tastes, etc, but to call News Radio “Shitty” is a pretty bold statement ;)

  34. charlie sheen

    News Radio was okay but it was not Two and a Half Men. I wouldn’t even say it was an According to Jim.

  35. Captain Walleye

    News Radio rocked.

  36. Lovitz is an untalented, thief, hack. He would have kept his cowardly pie-hole effing shut or even laughed along with it if Dane Cook or someone would have said the exact same thing to him. He only beat up Dick because Andy weighs like two ounces.

    Leno should have curb stomped Lovitz when Lovitz stole the “liar guy” bit. Leno had been doing the “yeah, that’s the ticket” thing in his act for YEARS before Lovitz stole it and started doing it on SNL.

  37. Andy Dick iz a fuckface
    and I
    remember Phil Hartmen
    in a
    movie when I waz young

    “Jinglez all the way”
    with
    Arnold Zwartzajigger
    I
    really liked Phil..he
    waz
    a crazy funny guy…

  38. citizenstrange

    sorry… i forgot to take my meds today. i’m taking viagra for my extrememly small penis. sorry again guys.

  39. Doppelganger

    Are Andy Dick and Kathy Griffin the same person? Does anyone ever see them appearing at the same place, at the same time?

  40. lambman

    This seems insane, didn’t Andy and Jon work together for those last crappy seasons of “News Radio” after Jon replaced the deceased Phil?

    Still though, Phil Hartman was THE MAN and his death was a tragedy.

  41. Tim

    Andy Dick is just jealous because Phil Hartman had the best taste in women.

  42. Banquo

    36. –> You think Obviously like Dick, think Leno is funny, and you say Lovits is a hack? That means you probably think “Jiminy Glick” is the pinnacle of TV comedy then.

    (also “That’s the ticket” is a common colloquialism that first showed up in England around 1834. Very much like Yadda Yadda Yadda that a million comedians used/had material about it before Seinfeld ever thought to use it, doing so is a common practice and the similarity to the two is vague at best.
    Besides, many cartoon characters and B&W comedic actors used it as well, and in similar context..so Leno ripped them off first.

    And I don’t care who you are, Pope, President or (in this case) Penis…if you insult the memory of one of my friends to my face. You’re getting five thrown at you.

    Also with no exceptions, you’re wrong and everything you like sucks.

  43. BaldAsBritney

    So then I after I beat up Andy dick and ahhh Mike Tyson, yeah, I gabbed Pam Anderson, and we had sex yeah..on the bar yeah thats it. And then I got drunk with..Goerge Clooney yeah and we flew to ..Paris yeah on his private jet see ..

  44. AJG

    Jay Sherman aka Jon Lovitz needs a blog dedicated to his greatness-

    Andy Dicks funny but he goes too far sometimes

  45. Courtney

    Mr. Superfish, lay off the analogies. They are not your friends.

  46. Dizzybenny

    Lovitz is my hero!

  47. maeby

    Hopefully He’ll continue on this path of enlightnement and take down Carrot Top next.

  48. Mdiz

    Please tell me someone got that fantastic beat down on video!! I bet Dick cried like the little bitch that he is. Lovitz you are the man. Tonight i tip a frosty mug of joy in your honor!

  49. Courtney

    #39 – hilarious.

    And since apparently none of you watch the View, evidently Andy Dick got Phil Hartman’s wife addicted to coke, and non-hilarity ensued.

  50. Chauncey Gardner

    Martin Scorsese, if you’re reading – cast Lovitz in your next crime movie! He’ll make Joe Pesci look like…well…Andy Dick.

Leave A Comment