Hey, AMC, Leave Jon Hamm’s Penis Alone

March 20th, 2013 // 40 Comments
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Of all the natural wonders of the world, Jon Hamm‘s penis truly hangs mightily above them all. A girthuous gift from God himself to remind us, his most beloved creation, that sometimes a penis can be a masterful work of art, and if one should attempt to hide such beauty with garments of thread, they should be cast out upon the rocks where there is much weeping and gnashing of smaller penises. A warning that AMC has boldly mocked with such arrogance, its children’s children shall call themselves fortunate to not feel the coming smiting of the Lord deep within their holiest of holies. NY Daily News reports:

An AMC insider tells Confidenti@l that during filming of the sixth season of the hit show — when the ’60s-style clothing was a tight fit — Hamm was politely instructed by a staffer at the network to please wear underwear while shooting his scenes.
“This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination,” a source tells us. “Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear.”
Our insider says that during seasons one and two, AMC’s marketing team even had to do some Photoshop magic on promotional booklets that went out to press in order to make his privates more, well, private.

When reached for comment an AMC spokesman said, “Listen, if you think about it, we really did Jon Hamm’s penis a favor by bringing it over here on a ship. Instead of being a bit character after bit character in CBS police procedurals, we gave it food and shelter. And who knows? Sometimes in these situations penises are benevolently set free into this God-given land of opportunity instead of having its ownership transferred to a relative in a will. Granted, we’re probably going with that, but the option’s there if we ever change our minds. Which we won’t.” Later, AMC would beat Jon Hamm’s penis with a whip before selling its wife to Oxygen. It would have its revenge on them all.

h/t Jezebel

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    These are old snaps but it’s a good enough excuse to run them again.

  2. So if conservatives aren’t racist if they call themselves “Frederick Douglass Republicans,” then they’re not homophobic if they call themselves “Jon Hamm Republicans”? That’s how I’m reading that last paragraph.

  3. Darling

    I want now in and around my mouth

  4. Lemmiwinks

    Something tells me if he ever loses a leg he’ll get along just fine.

  5. This blasphemy will not stand! TO WAR!

  6. Would Hamm Jr. get special guest star acknowledgment on the shows where Hamm doesn’t wear underwear?

  7. His girlfriend has a serious case of frozen face from too much Botox, lol. And she’s only 42 ? Yikes.

  8. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my !!

  9. Jon Hamm Penis
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow I can see the whole thing. He could be walking around butt-naked & it’d make no difference.

  10. oh i know

    that thing can oppress me anytime!! ;)-

  11. No tailor will ever need to ask him what side he dresses to.

  12. Sparky

    Looks like he has dad dick.

  13. Yoda Mann

    Jon Hamm‘s ham. ‘Nuff said.

  14. Joy

    Ah yes. Jon Hamm. Why can’t there be more men like you?

  15. Peter Dinklage

    If I had a schwanze like that it would drag on the ground (and it does).

  16. LadyMoustache

    I’m sorry to say those of us who were alive in the eighties regularly saw shlongs down to the knees in tight pants. You might be able to fake balls, but not that kind of snake. Of course, I live in Quebec, where every guy is well hung….

  17. DBN

    Uncircumcised, I see.

  18. BP

    Dude’s who wear tight pants and no underwear are creepy…Jon Hamm or not….

  19. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    “CUZ I’M FREEEEEEE….FREE BALLIN” – Tom Petty

  20. Jon Hamm Penis
    omahahaha
    Commented on this photo:

    Prop gone wrong.

  21. Jon Hamm Penis
    Isabel
    Commented on this photo:

    There´s only one thing more disgusting than a circumcised penis…having to actually look at his perpetually exposed knob through his freakin pants *vomit*

  22. Laura

    Omg, these pictures. :D How can he dress like that with an asset like that? If I would be his wife I would tell him wear underwear and loose pants.

  23. What’s the big whoop? Looks pretty regular size to me.

  24. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming from an expert, this is absolutely photoshopped.

  25. Greg

    Talent,looks,and a big dick….poor Jon.

  26. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    either way I bet the people at Barney s loved watching him walk by. Myself I would be so happy in helping try on anything that requires him remove his pants, yummy

  27. Jon Hamm Penis
    don donals
    Commented on this photo:

    All the fruits in Hollywood would think this is cool.

  28. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks just like my husband. Yes, I’m a lucky lady!

  29. Jon Hamm Penis
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d suck him dry & swallow all his love juice & I’m a guy.

  30. Jon Hamm Penis
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    You are cute Jon. Get rid of the bitch & I’ll suck you into next week. It will be your best orgasm yet & I’ll swallow every drop of your thick load. I am a guy & I want to service you ASAP.

  31. Jon Hamm Penis
    beverly
    Commented on this photo:

    The woman looks homey and the shoes are country ass hell.

  32. Jon Hamm Penis
    Random
    Commented on this photo:

    the shape is to distinct, either he isn’t wearing undies most of the time or he wears loose boxers

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