Hey, AMC, Leave Jon Hamm’s Penis Alone
Of all the natural wonders of the world, Jon Hamm‘s penis truly hangs mightily above them all. A girthuous gift from God himself to remind us, his most beloved creation, that sometimes a penis can be a masterful work of art, and if one should attempt to hide such beauty with garments of thread, they should be cast out upon the rocks where there is much weeping and gnashing of smaller penises. A warning that AMC has boldly mocked with such arrogance, its children’s children shall call themselves fortunate to not feel the coming smiting of the Lord deep within their holiest of holies. NY Daily News reports:
An AMC insider tells [email protected] that during filming of the sixth season of the hit show — when the ’60s-style clothing was a tight fit — Hamm was politely instructed by a staffer at the network to please wear underwear while shooting his scenes.
“This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination,” a source tells us. “Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear.”
Our insider says that during seasons one and two, AMC’s marketing team even had to do some Photoshop magic on promotional booklets that went out to press in order to make his privates more, well, private.
When reached for comment an AMC spokesman said, “Listen, if you think about it, we really did Jon Hamm’s penis a favor by bringing it over here on a ship. Instead of being a bit character after bit character in CBS police procedurals, we gave it food and shelter. And who knows? Sometimes in these situations penises are benevolently set free into this God-given land of opportunity instead of having its ownership transferred to a relative in a will. Granted, we’re probably going with that, but the option’s there if we ever change our minds. Which we won’t.” Later, AMC would beat Jon Hamm’s penis with a whip before selling its wife to Oxygen. It would have its revenge on them all.
Photos: Splash News