John Mayer’s Penis is a ‘White Supremacist’

February 10th, 2010 // 103 Comments

So apparently John Mayer talked to Playboy about more than just fucking Jessica Simpson. Turns out he’s black now. No, really:

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n-gger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Is it racist for me to suggest that John Mayer is probably going to get shot? Because I honestly don’t know how else you react to “I have a n-gger pass” without shooting a man point blank in the liver. Although in fairness, that’s also my reaction to John Mayer’s face, music and social network communications.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Cartman

    What a stupid douchebag. He doesn’t deserve all the pussy he gets.

  2. Jesse

    He’s not even using the term correctly. N-pass refers to the choice black guys make when offered a job.

  3. Vanessa

    Eagerly awaiting the inevitable “John Mayer gets shot, also found with own cock shoved down throat” post!

  4. Rachell

    This guy is a douche bag, at least he shows a bit of self awareness to the fact. He’s so self absorbed and a total womanizer. Impressive for someone with such an ass face.

  5. Sheila

    what a douchebomb. what women find this guy attractive, anyway? he looks like a total twink.

  6. Ellen

    He has a way inflated sense of self-importance. It’s nauseating. Black people: open fire.

  7. ellen

    And his music effing sucks balls.

  8. J

    Maybe I’m giving him way too much credit here but does anyone else sense some “press-fuckery” going on here? Like he just walked into the interview in stream of consciousness mode for the sole purpose of fucking with the press and people who hang on celebrity’s every word??

    Too much credit? Ok you’re right.

  9. fearsarewishes

    This guy is too dumb to know that he should be embarrassed.

  10. Michelle

    John rocks! would swallow every drop of him!

  11. Hank

    TMI michelle. Maybe you mistook this for John “I am so not gay” Mayer’s fan forums. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the virtual BJ anyway.

  12. John Racist Mayer

    Well? Does he have a ghetto pass or not?

    Because if he does, its racist of you to think Jesse Jackson can say it… on the air… and John Mayer can’t.

  13. Rougher than rocco

    Oh I see! So you bang a couple of desperate chicks, that makes you the second coming to Don Juan Demarco. Or should I say Tarzan to the black people. He thinks black chicks are not attrative, I hope monique reads this article, pick up the innuendos and conner him somewhere….

  14. nicolu

    I don’t know what the big deal is…black guys say shit like this ALL the time!!

  15. Teri

    “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? what a stupid thing to say… ewww

  16. JR

    You know, I’m ordinarily against white supremacy but this is one circumstance where it actually kinda works out. John Mayer keeping his self-absorbed, egotistical white boy wang away from women of color is a good thing. I’d prefer he’d keep his penis away from all women, but only bothering white girls is a start. Seriously, don’t ethnic women have it hard enough without John Mayer slinging penis goo at them?

  17. Tuppy

    What a steaming pile of self-absorbed crap.

    He is a perfect example of what happens when you give piles of money to an imbecile. It doesn’t surprise me that an equally steaming pile of an irrelevantly self-absorbed magazine would publish it.

  18. nicolu

    I don;t know what the big deal is….black guys say shit like this ALL the time!

  19. nicolu

    I don’t know what the big deal is….black guys say shit like this ALL the time!

  20. sdfsdfds

    John Mayer has hits? I didn’t even realize that people listen to him.

  21. Salad Face

    John Mayer is so desperate, he’s in danger of reaching Tila Tequila levels of “somebody please pay attention to me”. He has never had a #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. EVER. John had ONE number one hit on the Adult Contemporary chart (which counts if you’re Enya).

    The world has done such a fabulous job at ignoring his Michael Bolton-esque music, perhaps it’s time to do the same with his comments.

  22. Chantal

    #2 wins

  23. Valerie

    let’s not validate him by caring about his penis to begin with…

  24. SO RIGHT

    What is saying? I’m not racist as a person, but I can’t get hard for anyone but white women? Well then John, you ARE, in fact, RACIST. HELLO?

  25. gosyco

    One day soon, my daughter’s CD of this whinning dork will suddenly come up missing. Someone supposedly referred to this guy as the ‘guitar savior of his generation.’ I shudder.

  26. DKNY

    No matter what he’s like, I think the next thing we’ll hear about is how he’s banging Kerry Washington.

  27. me

    This guy… I don’t even have the words. What does it say about Jenifer Aniston to date him for as long as she did?

  28. shannon2

    What a pussy.

    I hate guys like this. As far as I’m concerned if you sleep with this asshole, infected douche and you’re a celebrity I’ll never buy your crap.

    If I ever see a guy has one of his albums, I’ll just pack up my super powered spanish vagina and take her home untouched.

    Any white person who hangs out with him is a racist, any black person who does is selling out his race.

    They would beat his ass on sight here in the south valley.

    I still worship FLOON the party god, though. (who, incidentely, would also probably kick Meyers ass on sight!) Viva La Mota! -s

  29. Ungh! Shut UP, John Mayer! Goodness. What would your mother think?

  30. BennyfromThames

    The next time you feel an urge to talk about “how stupid” Jessica Simpson is, or how Megan Fox needs to just “shut up and go away”, or even give a well deserved “WTF?!” when the Lohans are mentioned… STOP! Just stop and instead think about this soft rock ass clown and the complete silly pointless prattle that comes out of his mouth hole at any given time during any interview! Then combine that with the fact that he’s also rich and gets to bang quality cunny while being a complete ass clown! BTW he’s probably nut deep inside Taylor Swift right now.

  31. punkA

    I think Jennifer Anniston, Jessica Simp, and every other girl that ever dated this guy are totally regretting it, but moreso now. The more he opens his mouth, the bigger the asshole he comes across as. Contrived or not, this guy is a douchebag that pretty much every other white guy on the planet would love to kick his ass. Honestly, he and Kanye both need to be put in a pod and shot to the sun.

  32. dontneedone

    john does not like black people, i believe he’s racist. and that statement he made doesnt help him. he;s a douche. he’s fake, stupid and a douche.

  33. dontneedone

    @#28 well from jen’s last post on here, it says she’s probably as stupid as john. and we all know jessica is stupid and she worships john, even tho he treated her like shit. but the real question is what is going on with brad pitt for marrying jen aniston?

  34. dude

    Dear John,

    your body is a fungus land….
    I wash my hands.

  35. spicy

    i honestly do not think hes attractive in anyway and my dick sense is saying he has a skinny peen, i can tell just by looking at him that his peen is god awful

  36. bek

    douche needs to take a vow of silence before someone silences him for ever

  37. Clee Clee

    I used to be a fan … seems like a long time ago. It’s just not about the music anymore, is it John?

  38. People always like celebrities, but I think those in uniform deserve more respect. They defend our country and safeguard our policy. Join Mili taryf lirting.Cxxxxxxxxxx Oxxxxxxxxxxxx M, show your love and respect to our military heroes.

  39. huh

    John is a dick, that is a fact. But he is not saying anything that is racist. All he said was that he does not find black girls attractive. You can not control who appeals to you. Who you find attractive is like what foods you like. Some girls you think are hot, some foods you like. On the other hand, some girls you are not interested in, and some foods you feel taste disgusting. It is all based on neurons in your brain. You can’t control which neurons are stimulated… it just happens.

    Furthermore, the fact that he does not like black girls should not come as some surprise. Most white guys don’t find them attractive. Hell, most black guys don’t find them attractive.

    Ever wonder why when blacks become successful they always date non-black women? On the off chance they do date black women it is usually the light-skinned blacks with obvious non-black admixture: Haley Berry (half white), Alicia Keys (half white), Beyonce (half creole), Rihanna (part white), Ashanti (part Asian), Kelise (half Asian), Kimora Lee Simmons (half Asian).

  40. whatever

    But for knowing he fucked Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson I have no idea who this guy is or why he gets so much attention. I also have excellent taste in music so I’ve never bothered finding out what his like because I pretty much gauged from the start that it would be nothing more or less the sub-standard issuance of a giant twat (probably not entirely unlike his mother’s ). I sure as hell wouldn’t fuck him if my life depended on it and I’m sure plenty of other women would say the same. Bland face, weird fucking shoulders and all things aside, clearly a shallow, up himself, achingly insecure idiot.

    Interesting, though, the way he goes babbling on at every opportunity about how appealing he is because he’s clearly trying to convince someone and I suspect it’s largely himself. Also a giant hypocrite for trying to backtrack now about these comments whilst not bothering to say a single thing for his patently juvenile and shitty attitude towards women. Silly cunt.

  41. MexicanPride

    If not getting horny over black girls means you are racist than there are a lot of racist guys in the world: white, asian, hispanic, indian, arab, AND black. Black women are statistically the least likely women to find a significant other so it is apparent that more guys than John Mayer don’t find them attractive. Does that mean they are racist? Maybe, maybe not. In Mayer’s case, I don’t think he is a racist, just a little insensitive with his words.

  42. Say What

    I don’t get what he is trying to say. Is he saying that black people like (“n_gger pass?”) Most white people don’t even like him lol. How is a penis a white supremacist? I don’t get him. He just goes all over the place with his thoughts.

  43. Anton

    I am by no means a fan of John Mayer, but lets be serious, these are not racist comments. So he doesn’t like black girls. I am sure a lot of black girls are not attracted to white men. I am sure a lot of white girls are not attracted to asian men. The list goes on. It is all about personal preference. Not being attracted to the physical features of another race does not make you racist, it just means you have your own taste for beauty.

  44. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Jesus Fuck.
    *
    Mayer is one of those dumbasses like Nugent and a few others who just need to shut up an’ play your fuckin’ guitar, man. Nobody gives a rat’s fuckin’ ass what you think, twink.

    *

  45. minglepig

    His stupid mouth/has got him in trouble/he said too much again!

  46. Relieved

    As a black woman I am angered by John Mayer’s comment. To think I have been carrying around a very large, very heavy can of “Famewhoring Douchewad Repellent” ALL this time, and now I find out I never needed it? If any white women would like to borrow it, call me and make sure you get him right in the eyes.

  47. i actually think that it’s kind of refreshing to see someone like mayer be so casual about how he feels about things. calling his dick a white supremacist was meant to be sarcastic about the fact that he physically/secually prefers white women. there are lots of white women who prefer black men and vice versa, and many people who only prefer their own races. on the simpler side of things, some people just have physical preferences. e.g.- i don’t know why i prefer men with bigger builds, but for some reason i do. i don’t, however, have any racial preference. these aren’t my personal choices, they’re simply what i’m attracted to. i don’t think his remarks were meant to be racist at all, he’s being realistic about the way he feels and the way things work when it comes to be an artist (and a person in general for that matter) when the mixing of races in any aspect is a factor … musically, publicly, sexually. he was up-front and not afraid to express this opinions about it, rather than tip-toeing around the race card like too many people do. when it comes down to it, the way the world works goes as such: black people can say whatever they want about races and racial issues, and white people can either be outwardly racist pricks or keep their mouths shut for the fear of being looked at as a racist regardless of whether or not they actually are. mayer, at the bottom line, just said fuck it and put things on the table the way that they are for him. not only do i personally see nothing wrong with his comments, but i wish that more people could be so blunt about they way they view things. if people could be honest about racial issues rather than being offended, defensive, oppressed, etc … it would give people the opportunity to understand where others come from, thus improving chances that more of the world’s racial hang-ups could begin to dissolve. this is all coming from a person who was raised in an anti-racial-mixing non-aggreesively-racist environment, has grown up and has their own interracial family, and has (proudly) helped ex-racists successfully change their views on the matter. i’m not pumping mayer up as a white man, i’m supporting him in making light of racial issues for the sake of discrediting the bullshit. also just to let it be known, i’m not personally a fan on mayer’s music in particular, so don’t think i’m sucking his proverbial dick … but kudos to him, in my opinion.

  48. qtpie

    YA… I’d say he’s V-E-R-Y…. much a DOUCHE! His ‘struggles’ could never compare to ‘one black dudes’! & I triple dog dare him to drive through the ghetto on this ‘hood pass’ he’s talking about! HAHAHAHAHA! My God, this guy just spew’s garbage to whoever will listen. STOP LISTENINNNNG! I’m scared his massive ego will grow so big it’ll take over the world… or have to battle Kanyes for world domination.

  49. Dank24

    Now i get why people think this guy is a douche bag. Actually, he’s not a douche bag, he’s just a gigantic asshole. Honestly i hope Kanye and Common read this and went WTF white dude just called me a nigger then shoot his ass. Seriously this guy has no bounds or even thinks before he speaks. Its just mindless drivel spewing from the mouth of a self righteous asshole. Shut up John Mayer, you make an ass of yourself every time you open your goddamn pie hole.

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