You know how John Travolta needs everyone to think he’s straight or else they won’t believe he has Thetan magic? These should help.
Hey John! Know anyone who has two thumbs, a bad hairpiece, 20 extra pounds, follows a religion for rich dipshits, and enjoys balls across the chin?
The Brazilian dance move is known as THE SPECULUM.
John already knows it.
You can almost see him thinking, “DON’T GET A BONER ON CAMERA…DON’T GET A BONER ON CAMERA…”
“….everybody Wang Chung tonight….everybody have fun toni- YO! Broseph! Beer me!”
“no,no, no….haha, you have to do it much more delicately, or they’ll wake up and punch you in the face!”
“alright…haha, seriously, they can’t get this boner on camera guys, you’re KILLING me, hahaha”
“…..hey, anyone ever tell you you look like Shia LeBouf?…..I like that……everybody wang chung toniiiight….”
(dancing to techno)
“Hey, you know I have a wife, right?”
“Who’s getting the noodle wet tonight?? THIS GUY!!!”
I think we’ve gathered enough data to definitively show that if you have a douche patch of hair on your chin, it is impossible to take you seriously.
“Oh! That’s gonna leave a mark!”
“Hey, this one’s a little darker..”
“You don’t have AIDS, do you Jose? Ah fuck it, Ive got a cure for AIDS anyway!”
No way Vinny is gay!
Seems to be really happy and gay(jolly) among buffed Brazilian guys. (Staring at guys junk on the left)
Can dance like a male ballet dancer.
Fake hair and pubic hair for mini beard.
Coordinates his clothes
Absolutely no interest in women in background.
“The charade is over….”
“and then…and then, haha, someone asked Tom if he’d like *Ranch dressing* on his salad, and he went like this to their fucking head!!”
“….no seriously, this is how I piss.”
(black was a good choice, John)
Supposedly this is all for a south American booze commercial.
This nonsense will inspire confidence & enthusiasm for that particular brand I’m sure.
(music, laughter in background)
“…This next one was great too. We were at a party Mickey Rourke’s house in ’86..allll coked up. So, fucking, I open this bedroom door and Tom’s standing there with his hand on Danny Bonaduce’s head, who’s *blowing* him, and he’s jerking Mickey’s german shepherd off with his other hand like *this*!”
I’m gonna say ONE last time: Tony Manero is not gay!
Are his chin pubes really that far off center?!?
No, but you should never tongue the taint of a guy with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
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