John Travolta Has Hair Again. Fancy That.

April 12th, 2011 // 60 Comments

Presumably forged in the finest of Scientology slave camps, John Travolta walked around New York today with a new wig to hide his well-documented baldness because apparently he assumes people look at the Internet just as much as he does. Which is never because the first rule of Church of Scientology is: Don’t research The Church of Scientology. Not when they have perfectly good captain’s logs to read from. See? This one says L. Ron Hubbard used to be a Mars cowboy. That’s how you know he’s not a bullshitter.

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Flynet, Splash News


  1. Ed

    He looked better bald. Embrace it John, if people laugh at you just cry into your pillow full of money.

  2. That’s exactly how my wife styles her beaver.

  3. Though the search for his hairpiece is finally over, the search for his career is just beginning.

  4. Doc Scweinstrudel

    Maybe alians really exist, sometimes it just all feels like a big lie, deep inside. I mean the world we live in, what we know about “his-tor-y” as something taken from Tora a most vile and perverted book. One dude here says that JFK was killed because he was going to announce to public that they were holding talks with the alians and those were alians that shared technologies such as fiber optic and clonning and at that time they learnt how to make a clon but such that would have a clear mind of an infant yet, so JFK was shot in the white house by his own bodygyard and they sent clone instead of him before he could even make a speech…
    But complying with them, for the sake of obtaining some technologies or money or buying into shit of being “the chosen few” without specifically asking were you at other planets before then too, can we speak to the chosen ones there as well”? seems just so stupid.

    • I’m not sure I’ve ever been so confused by a conspiracy theory. And I’ve listened to Alex Jones’ podcasts.

    • if life here started elsewhere then we can’t be all that diff from aliens. the more technology mankind gets, the more chance we will accidentally blow up the planet searching for some new energy or whatever, that i doubt we’d survive technology long enough to leave our own solar system. and i doubt any tree we fell from could do much better.

      • Doc Scweinstrudel

        Rubber, do you have to pick on everything I say? I mean, is there anything else to do in your lonely world? Get a life

      • Doc Scweinstrudel

        Dude, we aren’t different and we too originated from another planets/gallaxies some hundred of thousands years ago and colonised the Earth, but there are bad and good energy substances in their essence that reircarnate once they can find a DNA that embodies their essence -at least according to that person -and as for the bad ones, their “parasite’s” goal is to exploit us and then destroy us – together with the “chosen few” btw. So they basically are those who use certain group of people by offering them a very good bribe to take over, either enslave and then destroy totally after they have sucked everything they can out. And with their help they are those that are called the world government now. These “bad” essences no longer have support from the outside of Earth but they have a colossal amount of wealth. But then again I am not a specialist in this and it’s not my theory.

      • Oh yeah, I saw that too…the ending of Battlestar Galactica sucked.

    • Nomad

      Sir, put the crack pipe down and step away from the table.

      • OHHHH!

        She’s not a sir, sir…. Have you ever seen a man who had THIS much to say about EVERYTHING. Oh, what? A post about John Travolta’s toupee? Well, let me expound upon aliens or some shit… Dumb bitch.

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        And OHHH! – your hate just feeds me. Give me more, I like attention so much, how you insult me and show me my place and humble me ;-)

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        Here is what else I have to say: the man pictured above like many other can be well complying with the alians – for money, for power. He and many other of his kind consider themselves “God chosen people”. Because to think about it – why else those people would belong to that cult – are they so incredibly dumb really, why underestimating others’ reasoning capacity, especially when they are far more up in the food chain than you?
        Why is it bad to say anything against it, or be called “anti-semitic”. The real term though is “anti-zionist” though because semites are the vast group of peoples that include also Arabs, Armenians etc.
        Why is it so bad to talk against this group of people who have the commandment in their sacred (Tora) book: “to kill the strongest from each peoples” how can this phrase possibly be taken out of any context??? And any Jew disobeying Tora by one word should be executed (like they did to Jesus).
        Why is it OK for them to pervert facts from human past , destroy evidence (has anyone heard of Great Tartary? WONDER WHY?) While it’s a crime to say, type or even think anything against them.

  5. hmna

    A hairpiece? C’mon. Next you’ll tell me that Kelly Preston is his beard.

  6. uncle ruckus

    The friendly face of a cultist. Know it well.

  7. CC

    Were is his Captian Crunch flying outfit?

  8. anonymoose

    Still ugly.

  9. you know how you look at a dude with a bad hairpiece or a comb over, and you think jesus, what a douche…is that better than how you look normally?

    that’s how i feel about chicks with breast implants. you’re not fooling anyone…it doesn’t look real…so wtf?

  10. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    not just a rug, but a ginger rug. nice.

  11. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    learn to tie a goddamn tie! i guess that’s not one of the superpowers you get with scientology…sense hunger? check. find water? check. Tie a full windsor knot? nope…ask a boyscout.

  12. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    Weave it alone, John

  13. Luke

    That was a well written little anecdote, kudos

  14. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Why, you can’t even tell! Other than the fact his weave is red and his hair is brown

  15. Euroman

    I wonder what would Big John Gotti think about this funuyk playing him in a movie if he was still alive.

  16. Jock McCrock

    Bloody Hell, he looks like he’s channeling the late Fred West in that first picture.

  17. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    hair or no hair, the man can cut a rug!

  18. Myrakkel

    I got chills, they’re multiplying.

  19. Lara

    lol he does look better with hair

  20. hbw

    “I’m not only a member, I’m a tool”

  21. Oh Barbarino… what hast thou done with thyself.

  22. zomgbie

    doesnt scientology have a cure for baldness?
    do they have a cure for vanity?

  23. Fubar

    Ah c’mon… the photographer caught him when his hair had the day off. Follicles gotta have their vacations too. Now its back to the grind.


    Look, it’s the magic of Elron Hubbard! Not only does he chase imaginary space aliens away, he conjures up hair in balding has-been “stars” (who are used as props to recruit the gullible into the cult).

    Next, Elron will cure The Gay and prove beyond a doubt that psychlo-chiatry is bad, mmmkay? Johnny Goodboy said so!

  25. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    hmmmmm, weird looking! Like it came from a 12 year old boy’s head.

    • That Guy

      Probably did, they just passed it off as a Scientology cleansing procedure.

      “Now sit still Jimmy, Xenu needs your hair to make biscuits.”

  26. dudeatdudedotdude

    Pooing duh.

  27. amIevil

    Just goes to show if you stick your head up Tom Cruise’s butt… your hair will grow back.

    Who knew ?

  28. the captain

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha: THIS AMERICAN BALD LUNATIC BOUGHT A NEW SCALPEL IN KONGO LAST WEEK, folks!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

  29. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    I like his hat.

  30. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    Every John Travolta headline should have the word Fancy in it somewhere.

  31. TheRealMC

    joh travolta is adecent axctie but hisfake religion makes me very mad

  32. TheRealMC

    The above was typed at 7:22 in the morning after not having slept since the previous night. All of my concentration is being used to type this follow-up, so that you can see I’m not illiterate, insane, or deranged. I just don’t like John Travolta as a person.

  33. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, don’t mock. That wig is made with genuine Xenu pubic hair, the finest toupe nutjobs can buy!

  34. Ch…ch…ch…chia!

  35. the captain

    donald (duck)-trump for president?

  36. It must be hard.
    The closet. The hair. The Xenu bullshit. The insanely stacked beard-wife, withheld from mankind to keep up an outdated front. Sometimes I almost feel sorry for the guy.
    Then I look at his face and go “nah”.

  37. I know it’s useless but fuck you spambot, fuck you and your fucking handbags, fuck you fuck you fuck you I hope your server gets gangraped by Isaac Asimov’s characters’ ghosts.

  38. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude. Quit making fun for Travolta. The man is a God. He’s bald. So what!

    The guy was also Vinnie Barbarino and Tony Manero!

  39. John Travolta Bald Wig
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    And Chili Palmer!

  40. This loser covers up everything else in his pathetic life, why not his scalp?

    • Boobie

      This ‘loser’ owns a jet parked in his garage. Do u even own a car? His ‘pathetic’ self earns millions. Are u even earning 20Ks a year?

      • Anonymouse

        And he lost his son almost certainly because of Scientology’s staunch anti-psych-meds/psychiatry stance. The ongoing severe seizures Jett suffered (which is uncontested and documented) would likely have caused brain damage and was obviously what precipitated his death.

        So if having a jet and earning millions can ease the pain of causing your child’s death because you’re too much of a coward to leave a cult that has files on your homosexual tendencies (and will use them) – then I guess he’s just peachy.

        Personally, I’d rather not have an insideous cult have a dirt file on me, basically extort millions from me for their latest crusade against psychiatry or “super powers” building, or manipulate me into withholding vital medical intervension to my hypothetical child.

        But…you know…I’m a loser like that. :P

  41. so that’s what he’s been doing at all those bathhouses….collecting ass hairs for his new look…makes sense

  42. amIevil

    Well I am sold.

    Just joined the Scientology cult.
    You people just need some personality tests.

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