Everyone’s A Vampire From The Civil War

September 30th, 2011 // 32 Comments

Apparently this is going to be the new Internet fad, so here’s another one of those historical time-traveling vampire photos, this time featuring John Travolta. Although I’m not a sucker for the liberal media’s lies and know this is just time-traveling Nicolas Cage wearing John Travolta’s face so he can bang his wife and let’s assume slaves. In the meantime, I’m encouraged that photos of Madonna haven’t shown up considering she was the spry young age of 1,500 during the Civil War. This means her ability to not be photographed has diminished, presumably along with her other powers. We’ll have her talons yet!

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. I’m getting tired of those Hiptsamatic iPhone photos.

  2. zomgbie

    same toupee.

  3. Is Nic Cage a Scientologist also?? Perhaps we are all doomed for having made fun of Scientology….

  4. See Alice

    Hey Soperficial . Who is Sara Leal ?

  5. Bane

    Damn, that does lool like him though. Weird.

    • Vanilla

      It lools nothing like him. But it does lool a bit like my father; unlike myself who got all of my lools from my mother.

  6. James

    Kinda looks more like Dave England from Jackass

  7. Lydia

    What’s the point in being a vampire if you’re gonna be ugly forever?! Then again, ugly is better than glittering…

  8. So weird how people in the past would look like people today. I wonder if there’ ssome kind of word or term to describe that phenomenom….nope, guess they’re vampires.

  9. doopex

    Looks more like Dave Grohl to me.

    • edamame

      You shut your whore mouth! Dave Grohl is an awesome individual, and does not deserve to even be mentioned in the same post as that crazy fucker, John Travolta! ;)

      • doopex

        Lol, true that. I’m saying tho – if there absolutely must be a civil war era vampire epidemic, I’d much rather Dave was an immortal and not John Travolta.

        I like to think of Dave Grohl as the red, hooved Satan from the Pick of Destiny, maybe that’s why.

  10. Mandy

    I don’t think this photo looks anything like John Travolta. If anything, it looks like Josh Ramsay (singer from some Canadian band):

  11. Doppelganger

    The word for this is DOPPELGANGER.

  12. GuyLeDouche

    Would someone like to explain why a Civil War era wig made of horsehair and leather looks more realistic on him that his modern-day rug?

  13. forrest gump


  14. Dr Ha-Ha

    Wow. Nancy Grace MUST be a vampire.

  15. gigi

    lol, then how do they explain ‘Vinnie Barbarino’ when he was hot? so he became a vampire when he got older– the lame, bloated Travolta years & somehow acquired a time machine in the process, and now, stuck in lame Travolta mode, can travel back & forth? well that’s no fun…

  16. art

    Looks like Brad Keslowski

  17. John Travolta Vampire
    Commented on this photo:

    Naw, this is still Nic Cage. Face/Off was actually a documentary.

  18. Risa

    Everyone has a past life and this might just happen to be John Travoltas past life..

  19. arsyadvilla

    i think i’m a vampire too…

  20. Jack Steen

    Vinnie Barbarino is a poofter, and everybody knows it.

    His recent “car jacking” happened while he was looking for streetmeat, which he is ALSO famous for, in Santa Monica near the beach.

    Look it up – his car was heisted while he was blowing a teen in a public john – he parked on a side street and walked to the john.

    SMPD covered it up and said he was “shopping for another classic car: – but the closest dealership ws three blocks away !!

    LOOK IT UP !

  21. John Travolta Vampire
    Commented on this photo:


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