John Mayer Finally Got A Haircut

August 27th, 2012 // 20 Comments

STYLIST: So how far did looking like Johnny Depp’s autistic brother Howie getcha?
JOHN: Katy Perry, believe it or not.
STYLIST: No shit? So back to looking like a douche?
JOHN: Douche it.

I’ll fight anyone to the death who says that’s not exactly how that conversation happened.



  1. Deacon Jones

    If I hear that fucking apology song of his one more time at the gym I’m going to stick my head under a racked leg sled and remove the safety bar.

  2. JC

    Sorry, Fish, I’m going to have to fight you. It went like this:

    STYLIST: So what kind of douche are we going for today?
    MAYER: I’m tired of long-haired douche. Let’s go with shorter-haired douche. Also, I’m going to need you to reshave that Hitler stash in my pubic hair. You know how my dick gets about white power.
    STYLIST: *stabs self in the neck with scissors*

  3. Jimbo

    Is this the best you got fish dude? You can tell it is Monday here. Why don’t you let us know if John got his pubs cut too

  4. John Mayer Haircut
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhm, yeah, wtf is that chain thing around his neck? He either stole it from Katy Perry’s hippy transformer aunt or its a love token from a native american prison shop class. Perhaps we just have to hope it will catch on something while he’s riding his scooter.

  5. I hate this fucking douche.

  6. CartlT

    “douche it”.

    Comedic gold, gold I tell ya!

  7. Prof.Widow

    …and still looks stupid as fuck.

  8. John Mayer Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    Yay! welcome back John. quick question, Katy’s beaver. fully waxed, landing strip?

  9. John Mayer Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he took the train from Darker Tides to 21 Jump Street

  10. Sandusky

    The long hair was douchey enough, but they stupid fucking hat was straight out of Benjamin Button:

  11. Sliver

    I love how you agree with me on the Johnny Depp thing.

  12. John Mayer Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    Now he is a pussy with short hair.

  13. John Mayer Haircut
    Mary Feeney
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes I sit my 4-year old daughter on my lap and go through the alphabet using web pics. I can use this picture for D for Douche.

  14. PinkyT

    okay, I just have to say this since I am reasonably sure John Mayer reads every comment ever made anywhere about him. I read the Rolling Stone interview with him, the one where he was to emerge as the new, more mature, JM 3.0 version, replacing the hollywood-y, titled bottle-neck, spray-tanned JM 2.0 (which was a replacement for the original, record-company-had-to-advertise-him–in-two-am-commercials-as-the-next-big-thing, j-love, yahbaddyahsawahnadlaaand version). Anyhoo, in the article, he is so wrong and self involved and just…wrong, that he says he THREW UP he got so upset from talking about himself talking about himself to Rolling Stone the last time while high on meth or whatever zombie powder Demi Moore seized up on. He’s tho thenthitive, you guys! oh and also, this 3.0 version is supposed to evoke Neil Young (just in case the mention of Neil Young directly in lyrics went over your head. Or the fact that he called a real estate agent in Montana and said “I’m looking for a house that evokes Neil Young vibe.” Which might be the most anti-Neil Young thing ever said. Ever.) Have a nice day.

  15. timbea

    why is everyone so negative

  16. timbea

    the music on born and raised some of the best ever made
    love it john just keep playing

  17. Ash

    What the hell why is he a douche? He seems fine to me. And all you jealous douches he did write about the wonder of a woman’s body in a most profound way.

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