John Grisham: ‘Child Porn Is Bad, I Am An Idiot’

Yesterday, John Grisham made himself an Internet punching bag by telling British newspaper The Telegraph that our justice system is too harsh on 60-year-old white men who get drunk and accidentally download child porn. A statement that was so stupid even John Grisham heard it and went, “Goddammit, John Grisham,” because here’s his apology:

Anyone who harms a child for profit or pleasure, or who in any way participates in child pornography—online or otherwise—should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.
My comments made two days ago during an interview with the British newspaper The Telegraph were in no way intended to show sympathy for those convicted of sex crimes, especially the sexual molestation of children. I can think of nothing more despicable.
I regret having made these comments, and apologize to all.

John Grisham also told an anecdote about a “friend” who supposedly served three years in prison following a sting by the Royal Canadian Mounties after getting drunk and going to a site that supposedly had “16-year-old girls who looked 30.” More importantly, everything was totally straight because “it wasn’t 10-year-old boys,” you guys, so really, where’s the crime? And while most people assumed this was a hypothetical situation where John Grisham was admitting to getting shit-faced and accidentally pressing the “Child Porn” button on his computer before bed every night, Salon did some digging and may have found the friend he was talking about:

Though Grisham naturally does not name the friend, in 2002, he did offer a letter of recommendation supporting the reinstatement to the bar of one Michael B. Holleman.
Holleman, like Grisham, attended the law school of the University of Mississippi and, like Grisham, earned his degree in 1981. In describing the case, the petition for Holleman’s reinstatement says, “In late 1996 or early 1997, Holleman, while drinking heavily at his office, accessed some publicly available computer images of child pornograpy on the internet. Holleman did not print any of the computer images, and after briefly viewing some of these images, he believed that he had deleted them from his computer. Following a seizure of Holleman’s computer in February 1997, federal agents recovered these images from his computer hard drive.” He was sentenced to eighteen months in prison and served “approximately fifteen and one half” months of that time. Holleman is currently practicing law in Mississippi.

As Jezebel points out, if this is the right friend, his sentence was nowhere near the three years John Grisham said, not to mention the state of Mississippi reinstated him to the bar. And yet John Grisham would have us believe there’s an epidemic of genteel Southern gentlemen being unfairly shackled for overindulging in a few mint juleps and inadvertently acquiring pornographic images of child-like hookers through the computer box, their lives forever scattered to the wind. Has this class of good, white, decent men not suffered enough? First, you remove their property by way of bayonet with your war of northern aggression. Now, you’re telling them their own home isn’t a castle for the imbibing of libations and erotic stimulation of their choosing? THE CONFEDERACY SHALL RISE AGAIN! — After this download. *swigs brandy* This is okay to look at ’cause it’s girls.

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