Wait. Isn’t Joe Francis’ Whole Life A Sex Tape?

I didn’t know Reese Witherspoon had an illegitimate daughter…

From almost the minute Girls Gone Wild started, Joe Francis has been ensnared in costly legal battle after legal battle culminating in his most recent one where, according to reports, he was found guilty of assault after three women claimed he took them back to his house, didn’t let them leave and then “choke-slammed” one to the floor. So naturally this landed him a hot girlfriend who conveniently let him film them fucking which he’ll now Kim Kardashian into profit. “Allegedly.” TMZ reports:

Francis tells TMZ … he has NOTHING to do with the tape’s release — and, ironically, he’s trying desperately to stop it from going public by THREATENING the person who has it.
Joe claims the footage was ripped off of Abbey’s iPad — which was recently stolen from her bag at LAX.
Francis’ lawyer, David Houston, tells TMZ, “It is not only unfortunate, but it is a crime. As such, this office will take all necessary steps to determine who in fact has done this and who is attempting to distribute the video.”

While it would be ironic, don’t you think, if Joe Francis of all people legitimately didn’t want a sex tape released, for some reason images of a Teen Mom squirting all over James Deen keep flashing into my head. Although in fairness, that also happens when I pour a cup of coffee, try to decide what I want for lunch and pretty much exist in general. OH GOD IT’S A GEYSER! See?

Photos: Getty