Joaquin Phoenix Was Faking It

September 17th, 2010 // 47 Comments

With scathing reviews flying in based on the retarded assumption that I’m Still Here is a real documentary about Joaquin Phoenix losing his goddamned mind, Casey Affleck decided to admit to the New York Times what anyone with any intelligence knew a year ago when, oh I dunno, Gwyneth Paltrow and Joaquin Phoenix himself both said it was fake:

Virtually none of it was real. Not even the opening shots, supposedly of Mr. Phoenix and his siblings swimming in a water hole in Panama. That, Mr. Affleck said, was actually shot in Hawaii with actors, then run back and forth on top of an old videocassette recording of “Paris, Texas” to degrade the images.
“I never intended to trick anybody,” said Mr. Affleck, an intense 35-year-old who spoke over a meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwich on Thursday. “The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.”
Still, he acknowledged that Mr. Letterman was not in on the joke when Mr. Phoenix, on Feb. 11, 2009, seemed to implode his own career by showing up in character as a mumbling, aimless star gone wrong.

So for those of you keeping score at home, Joaquin Phoenix didn’t get his face shit on in his sleep because he’s crazy, he willingly let someone shit on his face for the sake of performance art. — SUCK IT, BRANDO.

(Thanks to Emily who remembered all those jokes I made about Joaquin. You’re good people.)

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. He looks like Mr. Blonde.

    I like crazy Joaquin better.

    Better than crazy Lindsay Lohan.

  2. aaron

    The Letterman think was pretty funny… because Letterman is such a huge douche.

  3. Joaquin Phoenix is so fucking hot. I’d give my right arm for a night with him.

  4. sean

    All Hollyweird celebs “fake it” to some extent: they’re facades, just like the movie sets on which they act. “The Superficial” is an apt name for this website because celebrities are indeed superficial. People of depth look on and laugh.

  5. jaybles

    Mr. Phoenix, eres un badass!

  6. Rodham

    Smokers suck butts.

    • Yep

      His cigarette is a placeholder for a little cock. Most men who smoke have an oral fixation, deep down they want to be sucking a cock.

      Joaquin – man up, get healthy, do some sports, eat a salad, and stop being gay.

  7. Almost looks like one of the kray twins

  8. polk

    Amazing how so many reviewers thought it was a real documentary.

    I mean, ‘cmon, retards.

  9. Andy Kaufmann

    I did it better.

  10. fester

    I am shocked, SHOCKED to learn it was all just a put-on. How much longer must the world wait for a bonafide Hasidic douche rapper?

    At least the douche-beard and douche-wig have found a good home with Spencer.

  11. Kerri

    He is gorgeous. I’m glad he’s back. Yummy.

  12. Viv

    I bet he’s on a set or about to go on one, I can hardly believe he would dress up like that on his own.

    He looks good though

  13. Joaquin Phoenix
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    One of Letterman’s writers said this morning that Dave was in on it as well.

  14. Joaquin Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that.

  15. Hetero Man

    Even I’d hit it!

  16. Beer Baron

    One of Letterman’s writers said this morning that Dave was in on it as well.

    • BidDeal

      Bullshit. The only thing Letterman is “in on”, is the fact that he only gets poon because he’s rich – otherwise, it’s Hooker City for his annoying unfunny gap-toothed shriveled-up old ass.

    • Burt

      Whether he was on it or not, he would have had to be pretty stupid not to know he was faking it.

      PS. It’s just common sense. Don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t pull out the camera if my brother-in-law was going nuts. Casey Affleck’s wife, Joaquin’s sister, wouldn’t have allowed him to enable Joaquin in such a way. Just remember what happened to Joaquin and Summer Pheonix’s brother. She wouldn’t have allowed the same to happen twice.

  17. catpaws

    Oh, so what your saying is that they both ran out of money and need to get real jobs again. I get it.

  18. AngusParvo

    What kind of pussy eats a “meat-free, cheese-free sandwich?” Just have a salad, pussy.

  19. Phoenix was in the Children of God-cult for a few years as a child. That would be enough to seriously damage someone, what with it being basically nothing more than an excuse for pedofiles to take whatever they wanted. Watch “Children of God: Lost and found” if you have the stomach for it.

    I think Phoenix has some serious issues, and I hope he addresses them.

    • Phoenix said he suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder MPD.
      While I don’t know if he was professionally diagnosed or it was his own self diagnosis. I do know MPD people invariably suffered horrific child abuse.

      I did read in reliable sources the Children of God parents commited incest with their kids. OTOH I can’t tell if his parents was intimate with him, siblings.

  20. Joaquin Phoenix
    ahhemmm
    Commented on this photo:

    something grotesquely hot about him…I don’t know…I’d prob hit it too…then smack it up flip it rub it down…Oh NO!!!

  21. lbees

    goddam… he looks HOT in those photos. I much prefer my Phoenix looking fit and suave… not bearded and homeless, thank you very much.

    Those glasses are quite chic, too.

  22. banquo

    Beady eyed, Harelip, pasty, no talent, can’t sing and can’t even act well enough to fake being a bum.

    Damn,…I’ve always misjudged what women want in a man,…
    *off to start smoking, and cut a re-sew a big hole in my nose and mouth*

    If they had been talented enough actors to fool anyone they would be swearing to god this was all 100% real.

  23. Joaquin Phoenix
    g_girl
    Commented on this photo:

    so hot…….

  24. g_girl

    yummy…

  25. g_girl

    beautiful!! cant stop. i love this look.

  26. puddleduck

    A feast for the eyes and a great talent… welcome back to the real world Joaquin!

  27. LEB

    Soo… is he back to being sane now?

  28. Fuckin'Really

    This dude is suck a fucking “C” rated actor! Who cares? Try to be Andy Kaufman all you want foolish ass!!! PEOPLE – Stop paying attention to this asshole! I’m talking to “thesuperficial.com” in particular! Stop posting his nonesense and he’ll go away! It’s bad enough you have to post pictures of that spotted hog Lindsay Whorehan and her bitch of a father all the time. Don’t piss me off!!!!

  29. Joaquin Phoenix
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the joys of living in LA is you see EVERYONE. I saw him when he was growing his crazy man beard. SO HOT.

  30. fart bucket

    why couldn’t this lame duck be the one to overdose in front of the Viper Room back in the day?

  31. twitchy nose

    Joaquin is a talented actor. He takes on very different roles and seems to never be in trouble with the press. He is sexy in this photo!

  32. jimbo

    this was a real documentary. I know you haters don’t want to admit it. Do you think he would show up to Puff’s house and disrespect him like that. I know Casey wouldn’t have. So you retards figure it out.

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