Joanna Krupa’s Side Boob Is Totally Not A Paparazzi Coincidence

No, Joanna Krupa is not a bad guy from Super Mario, she’s a former “Real Housewives of Miami” lady who was once accused of having a stinky vagina by one of her elegant costars with a very keen sense of smell. She recently announced her split with her Miami business-bro husband, Romain Zago. As you can see by his Instagram, this is the guy at the bar who keeps ordering $18 Ketel and OJ’s without tipping, so I guess Joanna is doing well.

Judging by this In Touch interview from way back in 2012 (John Mayer was a thing back then, just to give some temporal perspective), it looks like their entire celebrity existence has been kept afloat by the panicky flailing of their shitty relationship.

A tearful Joanna tells In Touch, “He loves me to death, he wants to be with me, but there’s something that’s holding him from committing 100 percent.”

The former Playboy model, 33, knew deep down she wasn’t going to get her fairy-tale ending: “It’s been more than five years, we don’t have a wedding date set … Nothing was going to change.”

Romain had his own side to the story. “I don’t know if it’s over forever but I’m pretty pissed,” he exclusively tells In Touch. “She is traveling all over the place anyway. There is no way anyone can be with her like this. That’s her choice.”

Again, this was the state of their relationship back in 2012. Since then she has been on “Dancing With The Stars” (AKA grad-school from D/C list celebrities) and he has been advertising his massive dong on Instagram to your mom and her friends his fanbase for when they visit Miami…

A post shared by Romain Zago (@romainzago) on