Jim Carrey Was Just Joking in a Completely Serious, Wants To Sniff Emma Stone’s Hair While She’s Sleeping Way

August 26th, 2011 // 43 Comments

Yesterday the entire Internet was reminded that Jim Carrey has completely fallen off the deep end when he posted a video love letter to Emma Stone on his new website www.jimcarreytrulife.com that will eventually be Exhibit A when Emma’s weighted-down body’s found in a Louisiana swamp with a butterfly cocoon in her mouth. Sensing that’s how most people felt about it, Jim Carrey’s rep told Access Hollywood it’s just a “comedy love letter” which is some smooth double-talk because aren’t all love letters an hilarious attempt to have sex with a woman? “Please won’t you accept this written expression of my feelings so that you might open your plunderhole forthwith?” is how most of mine opened anyway. Also, not helping are Jim’s tweets:

- Yes, my msg to Emma Stone was a comedy routine and the funniest part is that everything i said is tru.
- People often ask me if i’m being funny or serious. The answer is “YES”. ?;^]

You know what would be funny? If his next video was a Samuel L. Jackson impersonation where he goes, “Yes, I tried to fuck her. And I hope she burns in HELL.” I say funny to me and everyone else, of course, while absolutely terrifying to Emma Stone who now gets to be known as “that chick Jim Carrey tried to bang through the Internet” for the rest of her career. You’re not gonna wash that one off.

Photo: Splash News

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  1. bitingontinfoil

    Seriously? You can’t BUY publicity this good!

  2. Facebook Me

    His life and career went to shit after he and Jenny McCarthy split.

    • bitingontinfoil

      Jenny is a complete and utter WHACKJOB who’s main talent is exposing her tits and making goofy faces….um…wait…

      Yup – perfect match.

      • Facebook Me

        At least she has some sort of “career” other than making movies about penguins that bombed at the box office.

      • RoboZombie

        @facebookme: Her career is killing children in her idiotic, misguided attempt to draw a link between autism and vaccinations. Some career.

      • Richard McBeef

        Jenny should have stuck to those talents and stayed away from the chairing the anti-vaccination club. hope her kids get measles and her ass gets cancer.

      • Richard McBeef

        facebook me… Jim carrey amassed more cash from the Mask alone than Jenny could even imagine sucking out of Hugh Hefner’s wrinkly dick or whatever MTV game show and failed sitcom bitch was in.

      • Sorry, as creey and cracked out as Jim is/was/always has been in this situation, he’s very talented and has made a respectful career for himself. Jenny, on the other hand, is a shrill, obnoxious, opportunistic dumbass who’s using her kid’s disorder get a show on Oprah and somehow became the go-to medical authority on Autism.

    • Artofwar

      ….Anyone that even begins to compare Jenny “Stanks” McCarthy’s career to Jim Carrey’s 300 million and climbing career, should be shot–location, in the face—amount, preferably a multitude of times.

      Jenny Stanks has and always will be merely bust-a-nut material, the kind that you just wipe off and discarded like yesterday’s trash.

      Good looking females are just not funny, no matter how hard they may try. Above-average females should all stick to endeavors they seem to excel— porn tape leaks, and wrangling rich men into knocking them up.

      Comedy is a game for ugly chick’s and bull-dyke’s, all other females need not apply….Artofwar

    • karlito

      an actor has ups and downs and hits and misses. Carey was the highest paid actor in hollywood and the most in demand. he has a hair trigger comedic style not matched by anyone. guess what…he’s getting older and the choices are getting fewer. his marriage then his divorce to Jenny McTitty has nothing to do with the films he’s done. an actor makes a film…does the best job they can..and lets the chips fall where they may when it comes to the director and editors decisions on what they do with the final cut. apparently a common complaint among actors.

  3. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Well. He aged. Never thought I’d say it but that black dude in the back ground looks much more attractive than Jim

  4. Dan

    This is just a publicity stunt so we’ll buy more crap that Jim Carrey is pitching us.

  5. RoboZombie

    His will be a much slower slide into complete bat-shit craziness, unlike, say, Lindsay…. Think how long it took Mel Gibson to reach the point of no return. Jim Carrey will get there, just give it time.

  6. Ms. Poodle

    loling @ plunderhole. *wipes away tear*

  7. MarkM

    Well, DUH he was joking! But…if his joking also happens to get him laid by Emma Stone…All the better (for him)!

  8. Snow J. Frost

    “.. butterfly cocoon in her mouth ..”

    No. You. Did. Not.

  9. Cock Dr

    Love the use of the word “plunderhole”.
    Once again I learn what a bad idea it is to attempt beverage drinking whilst reading this site.

  10. mel

    at least he’s got good taste. emma stone is almost as hot as fantasia! i’d sniff her cornwagon til i got shit in my brain.

  11. DeucePickle

    These glasses trained his eyes to get better at peeking through mini blinds.

  12. Harriscandoit

    Washed up lol. A highly paid actor whose movies do well in theaters is not called washed up, they are called successful. When he has to cut his price from 15 to 20 mill a pic then you guys can insult him.

    • TomFrank

      I was going to counter this, but holy shit. It turns out that that penguin movie I and probably everyone else here thought bombed has made $163 million worldwide, which means it likely turned a profit on its $55 million production budget even before factoring in video and cable.

      Except for A Christmas Carol two years ago, his movies still manage to at least break even.

  13. Mickey0123

    How could any young girl, and by young I mean someone younger than his daughter, resist a good roll in the hay with Ace Ventura.

  14. jim, seriously why dont you look up sinead o’connor–she wants it bad!

  15. Frank Burns

    Jim + Charlie Sheen + buddy cop script = box office gold!

  16. hmmmm

    That was seriously old man stalker creepy.I love Emma Stone too but I dont want to open her rib cage and crawl inside.

  17. Bob

    Clearly I’m the odd man out, because I always thought the video message was a joke. When people started taking it seriously, I was wondering if I missed something.

  18. forrest gump

    if you do it right: LIFE IS JUST A BALL GAME, folks!!

  19. Jim Carrey is off his rocker, and using this “Of course it was a joke!” line is a lame cover for it not working. I used to use voice impersonations to break the ice with chicks (hey, when you’re not good-looking or wealthy, you use what you’ve got) and I could get away with saying anything to them. If it worked and opened the door, great. If not, it wasn’t me saying it, it was the character and I was off the hook. Jim’s speech is no different, except it’s so much more pathetic given the difference in age between him and Miss Stone.

    Also, Fish… good call on the “Exhibit A” line. I was thinking the same thing the other day when you linked to the video.

  20. 315-Uytmatsu

    Such a creepy freak.

  21. Brooke

    I think it’s pretty obvious this is a joke. Jim Carrey was… well… I guess he was funny when I was in fifth grade and everyone was doing their version of “Smmmmokin’!” or “alllllrighty then!”, but I don’t think I’ve ever thought he was funny after that. As an adult, I just find him annoying and hard to look at… not because he’s ugly or anything, but because of the way he makes the same stupid face all the time. One eyebrow down, one kind of cocked up, his mouth twisted in some weird toothy grin… Like he doesn’t know where the off switch is. I remember as a kid I was surprised when in an interview all he did was make sexual jokes and talk about masturbating. Who did he think his fans were!?

    This is him, once again, trying to be funny and failing. He’s not a clever guy… He’s not funny on his own. He just comes off as creepy and desperate, and I’m sure he thinks this is really hilarious because he has no idea what good comedy is about. I really don’t understand how he stayed in movies after the nineties. For me personally at least, I will avoid any movie he’s in, and the only movie he made I can still stand is the Mask, as it was a time when Cameron Diaz was surprisingly hot and that dog was the greatest actor in the whole movie

    • Burt

      Creepy and desperate? I think he peaked when he became an American citizen shortly before the Oscars (as if he had a chance for his role in The Majestic) and then proceeded to tell anyone who had a camera that the US was the greatest country in the world.

  22. Nick

    ONLY good movie with Jim Carrey: Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. He is actually tamed in that movie. fuck all those other shit movies. Ace Ventura was funny..but one movie with Carrey being retarded is enough.

  23. Stan Gable

    I would have thought he would have wanted to at least sniff her dirty inderwear

  24. Jim Carrey Emma Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude just has a strange sense of humor…and I thought the video was quite funny

  25. It was his ass talkin’.

  26. Jim Carrey Emma Stone
    FunnyGal
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this one is funnier : )
    http://youtu.be/sQ_h8gAZelk

  27. I’d double security in front of the Dakota, if you know what I mean.

  28. wtf

    I watched it. Very obviously done in jest. Anyone who took it otherwise is a dumb ass. No matter whether you like him or not, he is obviously more successful then any of us will ever be. I told people when I saw him on the weekly show In Living Color that he was going to be big. I was right. He is a Robin Williams kind of guy. Hyper, off the wall, but at the end of the day he is without a doubt enormously talented.

  29. Jim Carrey Emma Stone
    frierster
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s cute and charming and I’m glad he’s lost some weight – looks younger!

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