Jessica Simpson co-hosted The View yesterday but didn’t really talk much when it came to current events. She plugged her new fashion line then resorted to her trademark blank stare for the rest of the show, according to Page Six:
“She was never intended to be on the show as a moderator,” noted an insider who alerted Page Six to the episode. “It was all a big plug for her label – Jessica barely even talked to the guests.”
I think Jessica Simpson should’ve been allowed to talk to the guests. You know, just to see her head explode when one of them tried to explain what a newspaper is. “So, what do you mean?” she’d ask. “You, what’s the word, read? You ‘read’ the words and it puts ‘facts’ in your head about what’s happening in, what was it, the world? I don’t feel so good.” KERPLOW! If that ever happens, I hope her breasts survive. That way, scientists can freeze them and attach them to my cyborg bride when I finally decide to settle down at the age of 80. I figure by then I’ll be senile enough to think marriage is cool. But only to a robot-woman with awesome knockers and, more importantly, an “Off” switch.
yuri | November 16, 2007 at 11:01 am
1
Giggles | November 16, 2007 at 11:01 am
I just love how this new breed of “celebrity” is dumber than dirt.
gossipmonger | November 16, 2007 at 11:01 am
She was told beforehand “if you dont have anything intelligent to add, just dont say anything. Hence, her silence the whole show…
FRIST!!! | November 16, 2007 at 11:01 am
The View??? Really???
havoc | November 16, 2007 at 11:03 am
*crickets chirping*
.
FRIST!!! | November 16, 2007 at 11:04 am
Oh, and don’t worry, Fish, I’m sure you turn plenty of women off..
chiharu | November 16, 2007 at 11:06 am
she looks pretty here…
Jeezy | November 16, 2007 at 11:06 am
That’s my bike in the background of the third picture.
G Man | November 16, 2007 at 11:08 am
She can talk to my Mr Microphone any time… Or if she needs to make a call she can use the Bone-a-Phone…
weewillywinkie | November 16, 2007 at 11:09 am
# 5 – Right ON! Unless she’s in a bikini, who cares?
minnie | November 16, 2007 at 11:16 am
does anyone else feel like there is a new writer and he isnt as funny?
karen | November 16, 2007 at 11:18 am
She was said to be fond of internet recently. Some of her fans found her on a millionaire&celebs dating club MEETRICH.COM. She has a personal account there with his handsome pictures, blog and something about her albums…In her friend circle, some other stars can be found there. Of course, many hot guys join in his circle.
Bigheadmike | November 16, 2007 at 11:20 am
Pretty…………….. I like her a lot. She is not supposed to be a talk show host. She is paid to sing and look fantastic.
RichPort | November 16, 2007 at 11:25 am
She reminds me of that joke:
What do you say to a chick with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told the bitch twice.
PrettyBaby | November 16, 2007 at 11:30 am
I revere her as my Woman-goddess. Current events are overrated people.
PrettyBaby | November 16, 2007 at 11:31 am
You all need to Wake UP around here!!!!!!
papahotnuts | November 16, 2007 at 11:32 am
She’s actually a talented actress and artist. If any of you had to live under the scrutiny of the media everyday, I’m sure you would be caught off guard every now and then. The truth is, most of you come here to spew vulgarity and hate towards people you don’t even know. If you took as much time analyzing yourselves rather than degrading celebrities, you probably could make the world a better place. I am not throwing stones, I too have faults. But I’m not criticizing others, as all of you are. I’m at least trying to live my life correctly, while the masses that congregate here on this website just waist time lowering yourselves to the intellects of pre-teen boys and girls, poking fun at people you don’t understand. I know that occasionally violating 10 year-old Asian boys by making them wear diapers and spreading sweet relish on my testicles is not “accepted” by the norm, but I’m trying to correct my behavior- so I can be a better person. I understand that lighting fire to puppies and throwing into school buses full of 1st graders is wrong, but admitting my faults is the first step in getting healthy. Having sex with frogs, jerking off my grandfather, and shitting my pants in elevators are issues that I’m addressing, so maybe it’s time that you all starting facing the demons that haunt you. Good luck, and lick my asshole (that was for you mom).
RichPort | November 16, 2007 at 11:39 am
Jessica Simpson reminds me of just why I went on a murder spree across the lower states and decided to take a stand against inbred Southerners and incest. Ok, fine, that was just an excuse to shoot me some white hoes, but still, it was awesome.
to the troller of commenters past | November 16, 2007 at 11:42 am
Please, a little more effort. RichPort would have the long and wordy comment. PrettyBaby would be bubbly, not serious, and she’d wonder why you made a weird reference to Paul Revere. PapaHotNuts <– is how you write it, and it should read like a pent-up testicle ready to explode. Now try again.
PrettyBaby | November 16, 2007 at 11:43 am
C’mon Rich, really! At least she kept her mouth SHUT during the current events part… I mean to me her opinion would have been ten times more interesting anyway than the other Blow Hards on that show
PrettyBaby | November 16, 2007 at 11:44 am
oooooooh a troller! Nice!
jrzmommy | November 16, 2007 at 11:44 am
I’m saddened, deeply, by the senseless slaying of all the innocent pythons that had to happen to make dumbass’s purse. and all the poor little resin molecules that were violently fused together to make her colossal sunglasses and dental veneers. This world is selfish and cruel.
papahotnuts | November 16, 2007 at 11:48 am
Trolls are good for one thing- a good old fashioned rapin’.
BunnyButt | November 16, 2007 at 11:55 am
Actually, I think sitting there with her yap shut is one of the smartest things Jessica’s done. She realized she was out of her depth, would probably say something terribly stupid, and get ripped apart for it, so she avoided making the situation even worse by staying quiet. I say “even worse” because sitting in the studio with those squawking hens from The View must’ve been awful to begin with. Jessica displayed some unexpected wisdom and maturity.
nipolian | November 16, 2007 at 11:58 am
#24 – Good point……well said.
InstantAsshat-AddFame | November 16, 2007 at 11:58 am
WTF is up with the Fish the past couple of days? He’s gone from merely sexist (which can be funny if it’s worded right, since I feel everyone is a little bit sexist) to more than a bit disturbing. Musing about kidnapping women or putting a dead girl’s tits on a robot? Disturbing. Not funny.
You can do better than this.
Jimbo | November 16, 2007 at 11:59 am
FRIST thanks for telling me there was a new post!!!
Juan | November 16, 2007 at 12:01 pm
She just sat there, staring off into space, absentmindedly rubbing her penis…
The Black Fox | November 16, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Does anyone really believe that the author of this blog has trouble turning women off?
sportsdvl | November 16, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Why is this bimbo famous????? Stupid with no talent besides having huge tits. Ugh. The only people who would buy ANY of her products are other morons!
#26 – The Fish is still funny, it’s you who has the problem.
Shallow Scowling Val | November 16, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Get ready to cry, cry-babies…..what the eff, man! This cunt was brought up to be a tool since birth.
Gives lots of credence to an old train of thought; “Well, I’m blonde (bottle or not), I have big boobs and I can yell in tune; I don’t have to go to school, think, or do anything that requires brain function. Life is good, daddy.”
Fucking useless bag of flesh, all singing, all badly dancing, fecal matter. Grrrrr!
Mike | November 16, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Maybe Jessica was just trying really, really hard not to kill herself for having to endure the blather of those women.
LayDeeBug | November 16, 2007 at 12:07 pm
PAPA!!!!! Where have you been???!!!
Gahboosh | November 16, 2007 at 12:09 pm
30–the Fish USED to be funny. Now it’s just a great big ball of suck. From the writing to the comments.
MM | November 16, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Well, let’s be fair. YOU try getting a word in edgewise with those catty bitches.
LayDeeBug/Aqualuvbug, etc. | November 16, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Will the Real Papa please stand up. You know my email….
InstantAsshat-AddFame | November 16, 2007 at 12:11 pm
#30, kiss my ass, hey what?
I post here regularly and have done so for well over a year. Which is why I find this sudden penchant for thinking that violence against women is “funny” disturbing. If someone who has a high tolerance for stupid jokes finds this troubling, yes, I have a problem.
And if I have a problem, Fish has a problem, because I am a faithful reader. If Fish wants to turn off every female reader he’s got, more power to him. Just letting him know he’s starting to cross the line. It’s not like there aren’t other places to read this shit.
So get the fuck over yourself, twatnik.
Shallo Val | November 16, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Oh, applesauce! (kicks dirt) PapaHotNuts is not really here. Oh well, so much for hoping (goes back to reading comic book)
gertie | November 16, 2007 at 12:14 pm
too dumb knows nothing about anything forget it wont work
veggi | November 16, 2007 at 12:16 pm
That’s not the real papa. Can’t be.
PunkA | November 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm
The View?? Is that show still on? Guess they will do anything to stay on air. Next time, make Jess wear her Dukes of Hazzard outfit so she can talk about when so rode my boss hog.
RichPort | November 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm
#37 – My bad. It’s never okay to hit a woman, or engage in misogyny or misogynistic commentary in any way, shape, or form. Its usage is utterly juvenile and sophomoric, and shows a detailed lack of both with and sensitivity to the plight of women through out history. It is both indefensible and immoral.
Unless of course you’re married. Then you practically own that mothafucking bitch… in 37 states and protectorates anyway. That’s right, vacuum in yo’ stilettos for daddy…
Shallo Val | November 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm
40 – veggi,
Sadly your right. Maybe I shoudl email him to see if he’s still among the living. But remember the good ole days, with Papa and ManUnited and all the other truly funny folk? (Sigh, reminiscing)
Jimbo | November 16, 2007 at 12:19 pm
@37 What line has the Fish crossed? This is nothing new here. .
holy moley | November 16, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I have it on very good authority that it is the real papa h. nuts
FRIST!!! | November 16, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Sorry Jimbo, usually you beat me to it!!!..
veggi | November 16, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Shallo Val- Those were the days!!..
PrettyBaby | November 16, 2007 at 12:20 pm
*sigh* What’s all this worry over sexism on the Fish?
*yawn* Boring….
LL | November 16, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Yay! RichPort and papahotnuts are back! Those don’t sound like troll entries, because troll entries are rarely comprehensible, much less amusing. If I’m wrong, sorry.
RE FRIST!!! – November 16, 2007 11:04 AM – Oh, and don’t worry, Fish, I’m sure you turn plenty of women off.
Heh heh, funny. As far as Jessica Simpleton on The View, eh who cares? She may have lowered the collective IQ by a couple points, other than that, no new news there. She was raised kinda like veal, to just sit there and look somewhat hot and say nothing that her pimp, I mean, daddy, I mean, manager doesn’t tell her to say. He must have been too hung over to whisper stuff into the earpiece, that’s why she didn’t say much.
InstantAsshat-AddFame | November 16, 2007 at 12:22 pm
It’s hard to put a finger on Jimbo, but it IS something new. I mean, this site’s for dissing celebrities, but the ‘jokes’ aren’t about them anymore. The ‘jokes’ are about women in general. So anyway, I’m off to d-listed. Catch y’all later, enjoy the boozin,’ FRIST and Jimbo, I’ll miss your posts, but not your trolls. ;-)