Jessica Alba is sick of playing sex kittens on screen, and would love to star in a romantic comedy. She explains:
“I’ll leave the slutty girl to other people and I’ll play the sweet, moral girlfriend who believes in love – roles that are more interesting than playing a vixen. That’s where I want to go next – a romantic comedy or something like that.”
There’s something Jessica doesn’t grasp here – which is fine, because it’s not like it takes a PhD to cook breakfast in a bikini (though if she burns the toast again, I swear to God…) What she doesn’t grasp is that romantic comedies are for pretty actresses with terrible bodies. Meg Ryan, Reese Witherspoon, and Julia Roberts are all very cute girls, and all about as sexually attractive as my microwave. Jessica is not one of them. Thank God.
My girlfriend HATES Jessica Alba. Just because once I said that she was “Perfect.”
Look, no one is perfect. I’m pretty sure she’s not perfect. I’m kind of fairly certain there is something wrong with her. I mean, I can’t think of it right now. But if you give me a few days…
I could not believe she didn’t do nudity in Sin City. I mean, she played a stripper working in a total shit hole. I heard she refused to do it because she was worried about what her dad would think. SIGH!
I’ll echo the Superficial’s sentiments: Thank God!
No romantic comedies, please!
Twisted Humor, your site is pretty funny. It had me amused instead of working for a good two and a half hours. Just thought you’d like to know.
P.S. Jessica Alba is – ready, folks? – OVERRATED. Sometimes our brains get cloudy when we think about boobies, but it’s OK, America, I forgive you.
poor baby….
Since when do Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, and Reese Witherspoon have terrible bodies? I guess being a size 7 is morbidly obese and terrible now a days. Guess I should invest in some ‘tina and blow like ol’ Linds Lohan in order to be hot.
BTW I miss the old editor of this site.
There’s only one instance I can think of where sexiness might be a burden: if you are a 150lb guy in prison. You won’t get to do many romantic comedies either, but there will be lots of dramatic roles.
this whole country has gone queer
Actually, at this very moment I can name one actress who actually has played ur typical romantic lead in your typical romantic comedies and is super sexy, super gorgeous, has one of the best bodies in Hollywood and has more acting chomps than Jessica will ever have: Jennifer Lopez. Quit the hating and face the facts. That woman is STILL at 35, more sexy than Alba which is not to say that Alba is not sexy. She is. But J.Lo. can out do her any day. See the video for LL Cool J’s Control Myself for proof.
J-Lo? people still care about that toxic slut?
Am I on crack or did someone just post something about J Lo’s “acting chomps”?
Actually thats more sad than funny. Playing the exact same character in every film you’ve been in doesn’t give you “acting chomps”, or chops for that matter. Alba is J Lo before she got old, tired and lame.
#57 classic.
should have thought of that while she was busy picking those ‘quality roles’. Like strippers. And half naked dancers. And dumb blondes in bikinis.
Come in Miss Alba. Your 10 minutes are up.
#3 THANK YOU !!! oooh, poor jessie! naked in pics, a stripper in a film, a bikini-clad thief in that movie with paul walker.
jess, is it lonely up there on your PSUDO-PRISS attitude….oh man, just GO AWAY!
hey, guys, remember, brit spears and katie holmes were hot too…..and YES, #62, thank you for another round of jessi(SCUMBAG)–hypocrite–alba(TROSS) bashing! oh, man, havent you all ever heard of heidi klum? scarlett johansen?? rosalyn snachez? halle berry? jamie king? come on!!!!
You really make WAY MORE MONEY playing a vixen then you would a boring ass girl in love in those shitty romantic comedies. Hell, Angelina Jolie tried to do that, and she just went right back to her vixen roles when that crap romantic comedy made like $5 at the box office.
#27, DAvina, I noticed that she seemed a little starstruck to be standing next to Erik (yummy) Bana and she flubbed her lines. So did J lo when she announced the winners name as “Kath-a-leen” They are both such fucking tools.
And Spence, I agree. I used to love showing off my body, but , well, let’s just say I don’t like taking my clothes off anymore. (Where’s my pizza??!!)
#61, Hugh, may I shake your hand or offer you some head becaus you are now my new hero. Finally, some who sees through that talentless hack.
#42 Definately I’d even hold the syrup and do it raw. For all you that think Jolie is hotter than this chick, check out Angelina’s face. Its lookin’ busted with those crow’s feet kickin’. She’s last year’s jerkoff target. WE HAVE A NEW #1!!!!
Reese Witherspoon? Terrible body? Are you kidding? You must be on crack.
Reese Witherspoon? Terrible body? Are you kidding? You must be on crack.
Oh, whine. “Omigod. I am just so. Hot. What should I do today? Have sex with a male hooker? Go to a male strip club? Hire my best guy friend to jump out of a cake?”
Jessica, don’t complain. Please don’t complain. Because there are a whole lot of other women out there begging for your body.
Jessica Alba is not an object, she’s a human being so what she has a great body. It’s a plus, but it doesn’t change the fact she has her own mind, thoughts, and feelings.
I know I’m a littlate but I have been waiting to comment on this subject.
Jessica is quite litteraly one of the hottest girls on the planet and she owes ALL of her success to that fact.
She is not a great actress, she is in not a bad actess..she is in fact quite a mediocre actress.
She only gets big movies and big money for 1 reason. Now for her to spit in the face of that and Whine non-stop about wanting something else is insulting to all of us who paid $10 just watch her in a bikini…that is what we paid for that is what she is good for…PERIOD.
The day she donates every dime she made off her smokin body to charity and starts all over trying to do serious roles is the day I will think about going to see one….Oh wait..never mind I still wouldnt go.
But dont sit here AFTER making 50 million dollars off your bod and say that you are somehow offended by the idea…Arrrggghh!!!
Big Boos and Jeers to you Jessica. For spitting on the fans that loved you and why they loved you.
And by the way…look what Halle Berry got her oscar for…Give you any ideas?
yeah, why would she want to take a huge step down?