Jessica Alba ‘muzzling’ Hayden Panettiere not at all like I imagined (No pudding, jet packs.)

October 3rd, 2008 // 88 Comments

Jessica Alba continues her self-righteous quest to encourage people who think The Hills is real to vote in this latest video for MTV. It also features a muzzled Hayden Panettiere which, I’ll admit, almost made me feel like I was falling in love again for the very first time. Until I remembered celebrity political ads are the equivalent of Michael J. Fox performing a vasectomy: They both end with your brain getting stabbed by someone famous.

superficial

  1. Jess

    retarded. I’m not voting now.

  2. ArtJam

    The Stupidest Shit I’ve Ever Seen!! Plus You Don’t Need To Speak To Vote!! Dumbasses!

  3. Effyeray

    If you were not planning on voting & some ignorant no talent hollywood fucktard convinced you you should vote. Don’t. Go about your life and let non-morons take care of the voting.

  4. Effyeray

    If you were not planning on voting & some ignorant no talent hollywood fucktard convinced you you should vote. Don’t. Go about your life and let non-morons take care of the voting.

  5. Mouse

    Horrible acting. How did Jessica and Hayden ever make it? Oh wait… Have they?

  6. How can a movie with 2 women and a muzzle not be sexy?

    By having these 2 brain dead retards in it!

  7. FuckAlba

    Someone needs to stab that worthless cunt in the face. And that blonde midget too.

    Effyeray – I second your statement.

  8. Rob

    I’ve always been a fan of Jessica Alba in the past, but while I was watching that I felt the urge to punch her in the face. Was there any point to my 3 minutes of pain?

  9. palor

    damn you’re on a roll today

  10. Jenn

    That was stupid…. If only I had a brain, I would know how to say NO to this site…but alas I was almost amused making this almost worth coming here for, or not…

  11. wtf?

    I always thought she was a no talent ass-clown but now it’s more evident than ever. Stick to wearing bikini’s on the beach hunny, it’s the only thing you’re good at.

  12. havoc

    Do these people not have managers or publicists or someone to stop them from doing incredibly stupid shit?

    .

  13. FACE

    Man, it has to be some black celebs somewhere doing something to get pics taken. Arent there some fine black women to post pics of? What a bullshit punk ass white boy faggot site.

  14. ummm...yeah

    Ummm….yeah…
    Assholes at work.
    How the hell did they get famous again?

  15. Okay. I’ve officially had it with Alba and all of these out of touch Hollywood shit heads. I mean it. I’ve fucking had it. Stop it. Just….stop it. You’re making fucking fools of yourselves, and you’re beating a dead horse. Talk about over-kill, you idiots. We get it–you “care” about getting people to vote. Or that’s the newest celebrity trend: making retarded videos, speaking down to the youth of America, as if they are 5 year olds.

    It’s as if they just assume that without their little campaigns, in which they make asses out of themselves, no one will vote. I was already planning to vote. I know who I’m voting for. And I’m not stupid enough to be fooled into thinking that a majority of these “celebs” actually care whether or not anyone they’re targeting with these campaigns votes or not. All these voting videos are the new cool thing to do, right Hollywood douche bags?

  16. n/a

    It seems as though Jessica is doing a perfect parody of Sarah Palin. I’m sold!

  17. sirrix

    I’m just glad that we’re looking at political advertisements instead of the FUNNY CELEBRITY NEWS that we’re supposed to be reading. Yay.

  18. kerri

    that was the stupidest thing i have ever seen. if this wasn’t such an important election i would protest and NOT vote just because of this. this has actually made me cringe picturing myself going to vote…i hope no one thinks i’m doing it because some fuckard celebrity convinced me too. i’m so embarrassed for her. what a no talent loser.

  19. combustion8

    well she still cant act for shit.

  20. The Republican 10-step program to cure gays

    1. Admit that you have a cock problem.
    2. Admit that you have no control over the problem, especially when Cuban men are around, because Cuban men are so fucking hot.
    3. Admit that, only by turning yourself over to the Lord, will you be able to stop getting snaked like a tub drain every week.
    4. Apologize to those whose dicks you sucked.
    5. Apologize to your wife and children for sucking dick.
    6. If you find yourself relapsing, call your sponsor immediately. DO NOT USE YOUR SPONSOR TO TURN IT INTO A THREE-WAY.
    7. Attend regular meetings. Bring fruit salad.
    8. Stop wearing cutoffs.
    9. If you find yourself sucking a dick, remember that you’re just killing Jesus all over again.
    10. Take life one vagina at a time.

  21. White Boy

    Hey Face, I guess you are catching on that we don’t like your kind?

  22. Julie

    Gawd she’s a twit! Good thing shes pretty.

  23. Erik

    A lot of people forget, but after 9/11 the mood of the country got very serious and somber and celebrities (mostly actors) got worried that the “entertainment world” was going to be shunned for awhile. So they got on the phone to their agents and demanded to get invitations to various special events (televised, preferably) so they could get a piece of the national spotlight, and show how serious and sorrowful they felt (=could act). It’s the same thing during presidential elections. These ridiculous “spots” are just a gig, and they’re great for people who feel like they need to try to stay in the spotlight (Ms. Planetarium?) or get back into it (Ms. Assba).

  24. I’m completely turned on by “HorribleJudgment”. There! I said it.

  25. Buddy Love

    The New World Order is coming whether we like it or not. (I’m not Christian and not a nutjob. There’s plenty of documentation out there, read it or you’re an idiot) It doesn’t matter who you fucking vote for. Obama will not win (though I desperately want him to) because it doesn’t fit into the elite’s plans. If he’s about to win, the polls will be fixed. If he gets elected, there’ll be some kind of scandal or he’ll be assassinated. THERE IS NO WAY THE PEOPLE WHO GOT GEORGE BUSH ELECTED (NOT YOU THE VOTERS) WILL EVER LET A BLACK MAN BE PRESIDENT AND RUIN THEIR PLANS.

    I’m not voting this year. Because my vote, and all of your votes, do not matter. Don’t you fucking dare try and doubt me either.

  26. don vito

    These people who don’t plan to vote, I assume they don’t follow the news or keep up with current events. Why would you want them to vote? Maybe they should be encouraging them to keep up with current events instead – and that will prompt them to vote.

  27. Sgt. C. Foxtrot

    THAT’S HOW I LIKE MY WOMEN. JUST THROW A BAG OVER THEIR HEAD AND BINGO!

  28. i think that’s the most i’ve seen her smile EVER.

  29. Lola

    I am positive that Obama is one of them. He is a ninth cousin of McCain who is a cousin of Bush, etc. This was on the news and verified by ancestry.com. The elites use race, gender, and class against us, but they don’t buy into it themselves. There are elites who aren’t white men (though most are). The American people are screwed no matter which one gets in. Vote third party or your will be supporting the impending One World Order.

    They both support the bailout. Get your facts straight.. it is a scam. The FED has already pumped much more money into the system and inflated the dollar. We need to let the entire banking system fail as it is the first step to freedom around the world.

    “The Zeitgeist” is a free movie available to watch or download online as well as many others.. check em out people. I am a mother &college graduate, not some loon. WAKE up people!

  30. Rossco

    Oh man, that was painful. Horrible, just horrible.
    In 2008, do you want to be shot in the face, or in the back of the head?
    Choices choice!
    Vote now! Weeee

  31. Rossco

    Oh man, that was painful. Horrible, just horrible.
    In 2008, do you want to be shot in the face, or in the back of the head?
    Choices choices!
    Vote now! Weeee

  32. BIgbutteD

    i dont dink so shes hawtie haterZZ

  33. adsf

    Lobotomy retard, not a vasectomy.

  34. twizzler puLLL and peel

    i love how ur all jealous shes smart, funny and GORGEOUS !

  35. girlygirl

    This is absolutely disgusting, and I would think, career suicide for Jessica Alba. She is really making me not want to vote.

  36. Jo Mama

    Oh my god those gloves… I’ve got a raging hard on right now. If the glove don’t fit, who gives a shit.

  37. Damnit, I read that headline as “nuzzling,” and thought the video clip would show some soft-core girl on girl.

    I’m sorely disappointed.

  38. either im strange, or did i find even her arms are sexy….eff the commercial!

  39. Jesus Christ

    I was going to vote too but since these celebs are doing all this egotistical and condescending bullshlaka, politics can go fuck itself. Now where’s my halo.

  40. escoben

    i dont know this made me hate jessica alba a little. i guess i just have to ignore this for her to stay number 1 on my who i would like to sleep with.

  41. blah

    Would somebody shoot them, please?

  42. Elvis The Pedo

    does noone think “muzzler” sounds dangerously close to “muslim” ? maybe a hidden political message? im surprised they havent got any shit for it yet.

  43. pat

    The headline fooled me. I thought, like a dog, Jessica would be sticking her muzzle into Hayden’s crotch. Hey girls, let’s make a deal. Do a video like that and I promise to vote.

  44. @ 2 Im sure you had to know that it was totally symbolic. If you don’t vote you have no voice. Does that ring a bell.

  45. Kim666

    I’m the first one to say actors should shut up about their politics, but I thought this was kind of funny. I’ve never seen Jessica so animated.

  46. Lugh

    Wow. That was three minutes of my life that I’ll never, ever get back. Jessica Alba was a lot better before she tried to be funny and/or preachy.

  47. escoben

    @48

    anything to get away from that baby her husband tricked her in to having.

    “honey did you wear the condom?”
    “NOPE, GOTCHA BITCH!!!”

  48. Christhefuzzy

    Ha, Hayden sounds like Kenny.

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