Jessica Alba is pregnant

December 12th, 2007 // 222 Comments

Jessica Alba announced to People magazine she is pregnant with the child of her longtime boyfriend Cash Warren:

“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli.

Cash Warren, what a badass name. I wish I had a cool name. Instead my parents stuck me with the moniker of Balls Mahoney*. It made things tough growing up, but I think I turned out alright. And if you disagree, I’ll throw acid in your face. I’m well adjusted.

* The Superficial Writer’s real name isn’t Balls Mahoney. Ladies, please do not try and send him your panties in the mail. No matter if it’s probably the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life which, let’s be honest, it is.

Photo: Getty Images
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  1. honestly

    you might be right #200. I am a lover.
    I have never met another man that thought she was less than hot. and while i could see how kardashian is hot to people, i have heard people call her ugly and fat and hairy etc.

    this person who hate alba loves kim kardashian, nearly all the comments hating her mention kim kardashian.

  2. CARLOS KAVROS

    I thought that these two had permanently terminated their relationship. I inwardly smiled when I learned that they had. There was something irritating about it.

    Is Cash Warren an artiste pseudonym? A cash warren sounds like what is below a good Swiss bank.

    In my opinion there is something wrong with this relationship, a mismatch. Cash Warren looks as if he would be much better partnered with Nelly Furtado, Beyonce Knowles or Shakira to name a few.

    If these two have their child will they name it Wallace (of Wallace and Gromit)? Or will they name it Damian – quite a fashionable name.

    These two are definitely NOT a match made in Heaven (I DO know that there is no such place).

    For $795 at http://www.alloccasionsplanning.com/docs/web_consult.pdf there is a Wedding package available. Or is this too cheap? This shebang is cheap, if you ask me.

  3. ice dragon

    Wow, she got knocked up. I wonder how this will affect her career since she it a shitty actress?

    This isn’t an accomplishment people. She just let him break in her. No grand plan needed there. Soon she will begin to looked fucked up. THink of her as the new britney spears.

  4. Lys

    Hey girls, aren’t you tired of those debate about women’s beauty? I mean, there are no debate about how men should look or should not. How big must their muscles be, or how long must their dick be. Come on guys, how would you feel if we ask you to look like a combo of Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Rocco Zifredi and (insert hot guy name)…
    Can we just be ourselves without being compare with someone who has been photoshope 10 times and got liposuccion, lifting, nosejob, boobjob etc. You win, ok? We can’t win against Jessica or Kim. They are both ”perfect” in some standard. But a normal girl can’t (some can, bitches) be that perfect. It is call nature. And you guys are far from perfection with your tiny dicks, your manboobs, your hairy butts and your baldness. Stop asking for something you can’t give.

    Some prefer Jessica Alba, some prefer Kim Kardashian. Thats it. Nuff said. Respect other people’s taste and just stop saying things like : ”she is the most beautiful girl in the world and everybody who doesn’t agree is a fat jaleous girl or a total gay.”
    Come on, only teenagers have the right to be that childish. Maybe we can debate about this ”red is the most beautiful color in the world and everybody who doesn’t agree is blind or gay” Or ”broccoli is the better vegetable in the world and everybody who doesn’t agree is a fatty who only eats at Mcdonald’s or a gay”.

  5. Lys

    Anyway,

    Someone remember this movie : ”Never been kissed” with Drew Barrymore? Jessica Alba played a total bitch in this movie. But she looked really different. She was not that skinny. She was incredibly stunning and perfect, but she had a JLo butt and some hips. And she became famous with this body.
    Just to proove that what with find attractive can change. It depends on whats popular. And sometimes we don’t listen to our own taste. I would never find a guy who got all waxed up beautiful, even if its popular. I like a natural men.
    I can understand that some men find her attractive the way she is now. But i’m sure that a lot of men would prefer a curvier women to be their girlfriend.
    I know a lot of guys who prefer chubby girls who says that Jessica Alba is the Hottest girl. And when I asked them why, they are like ” daaaaaaaaaa”. They don’t know why. They just do what some tell them to do.
    The things is, i’m not trying to modify your judgment. I’m trying to help you using it. Stop acting like everyone else. I’m sure some of you say she is hot cause you want to do like everybody does. Maybe you should start thinking by yourself. Some of you will find that Jessica Alba really is hot. And some of you will realise she’s not. And thats great.

  6. she is going to be a happy mom, but gals at http://pinkmingle.com say that they feel boring when being together with kkid or little baby…. is it a social problem?

  7. thisisilly

    wow.. i cant believe the topic about jessica being pregnant turned into judging her appearance. SHe IS beautiful with or with out makeup. Her body is unique not like many girls, her face is nothing compared to any other actresses although she can work on her acting.. but one of the most important parts of being an actress/actor is looking good for the camera. If anything, all that makeup makes her look worse.. she doesn’t need ANY.. look at her candids where shes at the gym,store or at the airport where she forgets her makeup, she is truly a natural beauty. If you CANT find a simple bad picture of her because it doesn’t exist you cant take th e claim that all the airbrushing makes her beautiful because it isn’t true. She is liked because she is natural and doesn’t let all the makeup and glam get to her head she couldnt care less if ppl thought she was unattractive because she doesnt try so hard to “look” good when she is going out offset. she doesnt even put on makeup or the best clothes which proves it. If you dont think she is beautiful then thats your opinion. everyone has their definition of beautiful, and lucky for her most men think of her when the word beauty or hot is mentioned and that says a lot.

  8. ice dragon

    Of course she is being judged on by how well she looks. Thats her only merit. You all act as if her getting pregnant is some kind of special miracle or some shit.

    Now that her tight body is going to fade, its time to find someone hotter. She will probably be a shitty mother or follow her latino roots and become another loud mouthed crack whore.

    She was a frigid bitch, now she is going to be a knocked up frigid bitch.

  9. The only one thing wose than a misogynist man, and that is a misogynist woman

    #200

    I think chicks like your are pathetic. That Jessica Alba is prettier and hotter than you doesn’t mean that she’s a ‘super hot chick all guys are going to like’. And it’s really sad that your only way of making yourself feel better about your ugly self is by pretending you admit ‘she’s hot’, hence ‘you’re not jealous so you’re not a ugly fat bitch’. Even more pathetic is that you say to other women that ‘they’re jealous’ or that ‘your boyfriend probably finds her hot and is jacking off blah blah blah’ when they say they don’t think certain woman is hot. C’mon girl, you’re worse than pathetic. Teenage jerks who know nothing about women and who never get laid are the only ones retarded enough to say such retarded, misogynist shit, but a female, to other female? Go shot yourself in the head you pathetic ugly bitch. You probably watch way too much MTV and read way too much Cosmo. You know you’re ugly and pathetic and your only way of feeling good about yourself and feeling accepted is by acting like ‘you’re cool’ and saying ‘oh yeah she’s hot’ to men about random chicks that you think are supposed to be hot, when you have no idea what a hot woman is, so they won’t call you a ‘fat ugly jealous bitch’.
    Women are entitled to their own opinions as much as men, and that a woman finds another woman unattractive and complains about her not being hot, doesn’t mean she’s jealous at all, she could be way hotter and more beautiful than the person or other woman they dislike, it simply means they think they are not hot, get it? You don’t need to be a male to say you think a woman is not hot and not be jealous of her, women can too. Do you think Amy Winehouse is not hot? oh you’re such a fat jealous bitch and you’re boyfriend is jacking off to pictures of Amy in her bra!!
    Women know what hot is and what’s not hot too, you loser, that they are women doesn’t stop them from it and it doesn’t make their opinion less valid.
    And BTW, I highly doubt a person who says Jessica Alba is not hot and Kim Kardashian is is a jealous bitch or needs to go to the gym. If they said both were not hot, maybe (maybe not too, as everyone has their taste), but if they were jealous bitches they’d have a lot more reasons to be jealous of Kim Kardashian, IMO, and they are not, so I guess that doesn’t mean they are jealous. Women are already very bashed these days and have to suffer a lot of misogynist shit from men, it’s sad that a -woman- like you is so misogynist and stupid that keeps isulting and bashing her own gender. You have also a lot of time on your hands to read, ‘examine’ and ‘study’ all posts on TheSuperficial, I’d say stop reading TheSuperficial so much and stop taking it so seriously because it’s affecting your brain and causing serious damage on it, get out a little more and get a life girl.

  10. Sven Oljaski

    Kim Kardashian really is a fleshy urinal.

    Okay so I was on the phone with anthropology Dr. friend of mine, and apparently Middle eastern (arabs/persians) (camel jockies/rag heads to some) and Mexicans have basically the same genetic make up. I guess apparently they are all some Asian mixed with white.

    Thanks #169 I took your advice and flew to San Antonio for the weekend. I ended up throwing the rock and attracted a sweet 19 year old Mexican chick named Maria. She liked my complete ignorance of her culture and my ability to make her feel like only a med school grad can. What sealed the deal was the fake card I gave her with an eagle and a bunch of numbers printed on green paper, and an ebay ring. Luckily she thinks I’m from Long Island, so I wont have to worry about her showing up in El Cajon.

    It never would have worked though… she couldn’t hack her new identity as Jessica… kept saying “Soy Yessika” over and over..

  11. Count Your Blessings

    #210

    Good for you. Since she’s only 19 and did not have sex with Derek Jater, hopefully she doesn’t have genital herpes. You can break up with a girlfriend, get a divorce from your wife, desert your spouse, or disappear to a different country if you’re later not happy with your woman. But if a woman gives you genital herpes, you’re stuck with it for life.

  12. Different Strokes for Different Folks

    #200

    The fact that someone as rich as Jessica Alba and supposedly so popular could not make her boyfriend of more than two years commit to her and made her resort to a possibly shotgun wedding should really tell you how valuable she is as a person. Either that or Cash is a complete asshole. However, if Cash were in fact an asshole, I frankly have zero respect for a woman staying with one for that long. So, in each possible scenario, we can safely deduce that Jessica Alba has not much inner values.

    BTW, in case you think I’m the same person as “Chris”, I’m not. Also, I know a few women who are named Chris, so she might never have intended to use that name to throw people off.

    I personally think Jessica is more attractive physically than Kim Kardarshian, but Jessica’s public comments have been so boring and idiotic that I could completely understand why her Yale graduate boyfriend could not commit to her.

  13. lilililo

    #210 – if you took any basic history class you’d know that Spaniards mostly all originated from Arabs, which would mean that all Spanish and Portuguese people have some Arab lineage in them, and guess who traveled across the ocean and colonized South America and parts of Central America?
    Lo and behold: The Spanish and Portuguese.
    So that makes sense.

    As for Jessica Alba being pregnant: big. fucking. deal.

    Her career is dead. Her boyfriend’s a jack-ass. She has more money than she’ll ever need. Now move along and find someone new to obsess about. I come on this site looking for nice clothes (I admit it, I’m a girl and I fucking love clothes) and all I find are 14 year old boys and 25 year old girls dissing each other. Shit, all of you go out and get a life and leave me to my clothes hunting!!

    In all seriousness though, I’m glad she’s having a kid. She had nothing else going for her, so maybe this kid will bring her happiness because knowing that millions of 12 year old boys (and some girls) jerking off to your “work” didn’t make her happy, so maybe this finally will. :)

  14. HAHAHA!!!

    I found a picture of the hater!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/hollywoodplastic/326824790/in/set-72057594113399727/

    Not surprised at all!

  15. Jessica=Overrated

    Some of you people here are childish and ridiculous beyond words.

    #214 you truly need a life, stop searching for random pictures of people online and making them public on The Superficial saying ‘I found a picture of the hater’ WTF? you need a life and you have issues. And beware because if that woman in the picture you posted finds out, she could sue you and you may get in trouble.

    #200 qualified expert analysis of all comments on The Superficial?? muahahahahahah loser!! you truly need a life too, and you need to stop being such a dork. If there was ever a female version of the teen jerks whose sexual life and the closest they have ever been to a woman is basically jerking off to pictures online, that’d be you. Be careful, your boyfriend may be banging that hot (unlike you) coworker of his or some hot (unlike you) chick while you are reading and making expert analysis of The Superficial and its comments.

    #210 a fleshy urinal? that ‘fleshy urinal’ is the highest you could aim for in your life, and you won’t ever get even a 1% close. And WTF is wrong with Ebay?

    You people need to get over yourselves and over your celebrity obsession. Normal people who isn’t famous doesn’t appear in FHM’s or Maxim’s or whatever’s hot lists because they simply aren’t famous and don’t have even the chance to. That doesn’t mean there aren’t millions of women who aren’t celebrities and who are way hotter and prettier than Jessica Alba and other celebrities that get praised by the media and appear in those lists. Normal women usually don’t have the chance to get ultra airbrushed and digitally enhanced in professional pictures and movies and of getting the best makeup and look possible done by the best professional makeup artists, stylists and hairdressers in the world. Jessica Alba is really overrated and she’s no better than your average decent looking woman. Do you honestly think that she’s any better or that she’d be considered any hotter if she wasn’t famous? of course not. Her boyfriend refused to commit to her, and she went back to him begging to take her back again 2 weeks later after she contracted herpes. A month later she got knocked-up (intentional?). Do you think her boyfriend doesn’t jerk off thinking of other women and thinks there’s a lot of girls hotter and prettier than her? of course he does. She doesn’t do any better than any average woman, and the reasons why her boyfriend wants her are very different to the reasons the celebrity obsessed jerks who post on this website could ever imagine.
    Pictures don’t lie and the truth is this is how Jessica Alba looks without her makeup, airbrushing and digitally enhancing. Imagine how she looks when she wakes up in the morning. Ya’ll see random hotter chicks than her walking down the street daily and you know it. Stop fantasizing about things that don’t exist and idolizing things to stupid levels. That she’s a celebrity doesn’t make her any better:

    http://i12.tinypic.com/80q26ol.jpg

  16. Pictures don’t lie and the truth is this is how Jessica Alba looks without her makeup, airbrushing and digitally enhancing. Imagine how she looks when she wakes up in the morning. Ya’ll see random hotter chicks than her walking down the street daily and you know it. Stop fantasizing about things that don’t exist and idolizing things to stupid levels. That she’s a celebrity doesn’t make her any better:

    http://i11.tinypic.com/6l4b4go.jpg

  17. Pictures don’t lie and the truth is this is how Jessica Alba looks without her makeup, airbrushing and digitally enhancing. Imagine how she looks when she wakes up in the morning. Ya’ll see random hotter and way prettier chicks than her walking down the street daily and you know it. Stop fantasizing about things that don’t exist and idolizing things to stupid levels. That she’s a celebrity doesn’t make her any better:

    http://i10.tinypic.com/733k5qf.jpg

  18. blizzy

    LMAO @ 128. Hate all yall want that shit was funny! LMAO Gypsy! Borat ftw.

    And Jessica just lost a shitload of points. Now we know she’s a shallow shell like most women out there…he didn’t want to marry her, so she “tried” another guy on for size, he didn’t work out, so she suckered cash into getting her knocked up. All of a sudden her birth control pills didn’t work right?

    Partially his fault though. Women can be so malevolent.

  19. StillAwake

    #215, 216, 217 – At least put up some better pics to back up your statement. In the ones you put up she doesn’t really look bad, she just looks like a gangly dude. And who are you to say that’s not beautiful.

    Merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy this -

    http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2007/12/jessica-alba-is-a-natural-beauty.html

  20. icedragon

    Cash is a half shit because now he’s going to have to marry a bitch who, if doesn’t have a c-section will have one busted up pussy.

  21. Observer

    @215… (Who did you say needs to “get a life”?)

    How long did it take you to write this dissertation?
    Your intelligence is most impressive regarding matters of lawsuits. I imagine you must also be some kind of network analyst and expert in IP packet technology.

    BTW, I know it is irrelevant, but I just want to gloat that I work out and eat whatever I want all day, stand at 5′ 3″ 115 lbs, with 13% bodyfat! And my boyfriend is hot and everything great a man could be.

    Jessica Alba has my respect for a few reasons.

  22. Okay PEOPLE, everyone gather around and listen to what i have to say. Apparently all of you who strongly write hate messages to each other and that is im moral. If you can so brutally attack someone and deliberately try to devalue them as people for whatever flaw or weakness they may have then you need to re-evaulute yourselves because that is WRONG. Look how nasty human nature is and the amount of perversion talk over another human being is just psychopathic (Jessica alba) All of you are dis-connected from reality and the truth. ANd to end this argument on Is or isn’t she hot well beauty and hotness is in the eyes of the beholder. EVERY CHICK of all types HAVE FLAWS and may look extremely hot one day and extremely ugly the next. AND LOOKS IS SUCH SHALLOW THING TO PLACE IMPORTANCE ON ANYHOW. Knowing and loving people is waht matters. are brains over the flesh. I saw jessica alba up close and she is just another nice woman who could be hot, sexy , beautiful whatever, everyone has that potential because their is a type for for everyone. And no one is perfect ,one super hot woman that is tall with blonde eyes may have an ugly vagina while a fat latin girl may have the best looking vagina , but who cares? their is more to a person then who can win the best aesthectic part competition. AS for adriana lima well she has an ugly smile with fucked up teeth and really long skinny legs that just look sakward , but some guys think thats perfection where i personaly think jessica alba’s smile is much cuter and nicer but apparently alot of you think she is hideous. I bet if all you haters got to know jessica alba personally you would view her as a person not an ugly whore. Its easy to judge something you dont know base all your feelings on something that is not real then hate it. How do you knwo that jessica alba wouldn’t save your life if she was in the right situation with you, would you hate it? no you would love her. Once you think about what matters in life then you wont care so much about the flesh and then learn to grow a heart and a soul and look at woman beyond something other than is it good to fuck? because you can view woman and see so much more than that. And once you fall in love with someone then you wont give a fuck how they look and that’s a promise. As for the men that decieve themselves into thinking sleeping with so called “hot” woman is their key to happiness well those men are terribly empty inside not too mention insecure and scared of being loved or not finding someone to love them or feel they are worthy of being loved. Now I am sure that all i will get from writing this is some brutal insults because thats what people rather do is hurt others then respect and love them. This world is coming to the end and spiritually people are becoming more and more selfish. So call me all the insults you want like being fat with no job or I dont get any rather. Because we put others down rather then listen. But one question for all of you, dont you atleast think i speak somewhat of the truth and make a good point? Bottom line is we’re all equal and fragile with problems , so lets just love eachother and not hurt anyone anymore. too much pain in the world and why cause someone pain? Does everyone want to be hilter? or a rapist? by talking about woman like they are just tits and ass? is that really right? i highly doubt you view your daughters or sisters like that or how about yourself? would you like to be considered nothing but a hole to fuck?

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