“That’s right, titty. Keep poking ol’ Joe in the side. He don’t mind…”
Jessica Simpson‘s dad Papa Joe was apparently picked up for DUI over the weekend, according to TMZ, which probably explains why she’s been tweeting about her weight all week and dangling it in front of the media like a deep-fried carrot with giant breasts:
We’re told LAPD cops pulled Joe’s car over around 10 PM … and during the stop, officers got the feeling he was intoxicated and ultimately cuffed the famous pop and took him to the pokey.
Joe was booked and spent the rest of the night behind bars. He was released without having to post bail at 9:41 the following day.
JESSICA: Daddy, I can’t get my breast pump to wor-
JOE: I’ll be right over! *chugs glass of scotch, runs out the door*